PLEASE HELP, FULL OF FEAR, STARTING CHEMO TOMORROW!!

TuffCookieHere2

I AM SO SCARED, PLEASE EVERYONE CAN YOU READ MY POST....STARTING CHEMO FIRST TIME TOMORROW!

Hello Everyone,

I have posted before, a few mths ago. I had breast cancer 10 yrs ago, it came back, i had to have a mastectomy. I have my surgeons 10 yrs, but i changed oncologist. I am 51, no kids, live with my mom, dad is passed. I have diabetes and high bp, and i am also a survivor of anal cancer 7 yrs now. I am a very heavy set woman.

I didnt have chemo or the 5 yr drug 10 yrs ago, my tumors, was 1.4cm, neg nodes, clear margins. This time my tumor is 2.8cm, neg margins, and neg nodes. Her2 negative, but high grade, showed a bit aggressive. Doctors said, that I should do chemo, because of the size of the tumor.

I am PETRIFIED!!!!! April 24 was mastectomy, had to get well from that, did pet ct scan other day, showed all ok.

Has anyone ever had, or heard of the chemo drug: Methotrexate? The new oncologist, protocol for me for starting chemo tomorrow is: Taxol, 1x a wk for 12 weeks...Cytoxin and Methotrexate every 3 weeks for ( 4 cycles ).

Because of my health issues, diabetes, high bp, obesity, edema in legs, he did not want to use
Adrymycin, he said, NO WAY! Another doctor i had a consult on phone with, told me, yes once your heart is damaged, theres no going back. So the present oncologist, is doing the Metho chemo drug instead with the Taxol and cytoxin!

He did lower the Metho drug from 100 to 80.....whatever that means...he lowered it 33 percent.
I guess worried about me and my health.....he said, quote, I dont want to kill you!

Arent you ladies, worried about down the road, damage to organs? I read this metho, can damage, liver, lungs, bone marrow and kidneys, yes, i know they all can do that, but, i dont know what to do........i have general anxiety disorder, and the FEAR IS EATING ME ALIVE.

I am housebound most times, i have this nose and ear problem, its so debilitating, i want to live a long life...but i am afraid, of what the drugs will do to me tomorrrow, im getting all 3 of them....this office, doesnt tell you what to take or not to take, or to continue your meds, i called the oncologist today, he never returned my call, bsy bsy bsy, i guess.

I read that, if you had diabetes and...obese....you stand a higher chance of, liver damage on this methotrexate.......and i take 800mg of advil....every 12 hours and im on glibizide for diabetes and it says you should not take them if on that meth, he knows i take these drugs and said nothing. I dont know if maybe because of the diabetes...and obesity, and just watching out for me.......that he lowered the meth by 33 percent?

He has been an oncologist for over 30 yrs, him and his brother, he seems to mix these drugs.
Seems confident, but quiet, i cant think of every question when there.

OMG, PLEASE HELP ME......I AM SO SO SCARED OF THE SIDE EFFECTS AND WHAT IF I HAVE A SERIOUS REACTION? CAN YOU GET SERIOUS REACTIONS AFTER YOU GO HOME TO? WHAT ABOUT DOWN THE ROAD YEARS LATER AND DAMAGE TO THE ORGANS? HE TOLD HIS NURSE HE WAS NOT CHANGING REGIMEN
IF I DIDNT LIKE IT....WELL, YOU KNOW.....HE MEANT GO ELSEWHERE. HE IS ALREADY MY 2ND CHOICE ONCOLOGIST.

He originally was going to do 1 drug....Taxol, then if i did well, add the cytoxin, then out of the blue adds the Metho one......I dont get it....has anyone ever had this regimen of these 3 drugs, or what at all can you tell me about tomorrow!!!!!

PLEASE LADIES, HELP ME, I HAD A HARD TIME GETTING ON THIS BOARD FOR DAYS, OR I WOULD HAVE POSTED SOONER!

LOVE YOU ALL!

NINA~

NancyJac

Hi Nina,
First of all, calm
Hi Nina,

First of all, calm down. Chemo is certainly far from fun, but it sure does beat the alternative. I took Taxatore (very similar to Taxol) and Cytoxin). From what I understand, Methotrexate is the mildest of the 3 in terms of side effects. Methotrexate is also used to treat things as diverse as rhumatoid arthritis and psoriasis. All chemo drugs are toxins and cause colateral damage in addition to killing cancer cells. Organ damage is possible but not a common side effect. Liver damage is a higher risk for those with diabetes and obesity whether they take chemo drugs or not.

A serious reaction is generally an allergic reaction and occurs immediately. Your first infusions will be at a slower drip rate so that if a reaction occurs it will be immediately apparent and dealt with. Your onc will monitor via blood tests and possibly scans to determine if any of the chemo drugs are causing any systemic damage that outweighs the benefits of the chemo. If there is any organ damage, there would be evidence of that during chemo, not suddenly years down the road.

The bottom line is, yes, chemo sucks, but cancer sucks worse. I figure I have enough to worry about with cancer, so organ damage down the road isn't even on the radar for me. I could get hit by a bus tomorrow or any other infinite number of things could happen between now and if/when I might have so sort of organ damage, whether from chemo drugs or breathing too much polluted air. It's just something I don't have the time or energy to worry about. But I do know that without taking the treatments I need for cancer, I wouldn't be around to get organ damage. I know starting chemo is scary, but don't add years down the road what if fears that are unlikely to the mix. You already have enough to deal with without doing that to yourself.

Hang in there, hang with us, and best of everything for tomorrow.

eihtak

Chemo...
Hi, NancyJac gave great advice. I too am recovering first fom Anal Cancer, a little over 1yr post treatment for which I had protocal chemo/rad. At my year Pet Scan I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer and this past March had a double mastectomy, so far no further treatment other than the 5+ yrs of Arimidex. I have a CT Scan on the Anal Cancer tomorrow and am feeling a bit anxious also. I did have a slight reaction to the first chemo treatment I had for the Anal Cancer, but it was as I was getting done. They kept me there a while and gave me benedryl, maybe something else I'm sorry I don't remember. My reaction was a fever and kind of shakiness. At all my future treatments they had me take a benedryl first which worked great and usually relaxed me so I could just rest through it. You have a lot going on right now and although it is often good to look at the big picture, my life is easier when I just take it in little bits at a time. I will be praying your treatment goes well, and for now just let the future take care of itself. That is as they say "a bridge to cross when you get there...do what you must to get there first" As always, all in my prayers.

camul

Fear of the unknown
Will always get us. The onco should know what he is doing. Every medication that we take for cancer can have side effects and long ferm damage, but realistically, without the treatments there may not be a tomorrow to worry about. You need to trust your doctor, sounds like he is aware of your condition and is treating you accordingly with a milder chemo at a lower dose.
First time around I had a reaction to Cytoxin and it was taken care of immediately with benedryl in my IV. Then they finished the infusion.
It is always harder the first time. I am just thankful that because of chemo I can worry about side effects later on.

Post and let us know how it went for u.

Prayers.
Carol

MAJW

camul said:

Fear of the unknown
Will always get us. The onco should know what he is doing. Every medication that we take for cancer can have side effects and long ferm damage, but realistically, without the treatments there may not be a tomorrow to worry about. You need to trust your doctor, sounds like he is aware of your condition and is treating you accordingly with a milder chemo at a lower dose.
First time around I had a reaction to Cytoxin and it was taken care of immediately with benedryl in my IV. Then they finished the infusion.
It is always harder the first time. I am just thankful that because of chemo I can worry about side effects later on.

Post and let us know how it went for u.

Prayers.
Carol

We understand...
We understand your fear and anxiety...I'm on my second go round with chemo..I've always said walking through the door for the first infusion is the hardest...chemo is no day at the beach but very doable....if you've had the same Oncologist for 30 years (did you have cancer before?) he is well aware of your other medical conditions...you have to trust him.... Again chemo can be scary but to me, cancer is far more so!

You can do it! You can ask him for an anti anxiety medication to take prior to each infusion...or he can order it to be given before you get the chemo drugs in your IV...I use to take Zanax before hand...don't need it any more...I'm so used to chemo....

Nancy Jac gave you excellent advice....cancer is worse than chemo...please don't worry about down the road...concentrate on ridding your body of cancer....let tomorrow take care of itself! We had no control of getting breast cancer in the first place and we have no control of what down the road may hold..

So glad you found us..please continue to post...this is your safe place to ask questions...or share your fear, etc...we'll "walk" you through as best we can..

Hugs, Nancy

DianeBC

camul said:

Fear of the unknown
Will always get us. The onco should know what he is doing. Every medication that we take for cancer can have side effects and long ferm damage, but realistically, without the treatments there may not be a tomorrow to worry about. You need to trust your doctor, sounds like he is aware of your condition and is treating you accordingly with a milder chemo at a lower dose.
First time around I had a reaction to Cytoxin and it was taken care of immediately with benedryl in my IV. Then they finished the infusion.
It is always harder the first time. I am just thankful that because of chemo I can worry about side effects later on.

Post and let us know how it went for u.

Prayers.
Carol

The first of anything is
The first of anything is always the scariest. You can do this and we are all praying for you!

Big hugs, Diane