movin' on
Comments
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Victoria: NO one can judge
Victoria: NO one can judge until walked in your shoes...!
we all must do what is best or we think and feel is best for us..
Denise0 -
Glad you brought up PTSDNew Flower said:I agree with barb and everyone enjoying life
Hi Victoria,
Very interesting way of coping with PTSD no mammography forever! I hope as time goes by you will be healed and Reconsider your decision. Time is the best medicine and will put everything into perspective for you. Of course cancer detection and treatment is a personal choice and should be respected.
Four years ago I was "46, very young-looking female". I guess I am looking ok for my age now. Being diagnosed with stage III I undergone all available treatments, including all available anti- estrogen therapies.
While physically I am not the same, both my soul and spirit determine me, not my age and my birth certificate.
Good luck to you on your journey
New Flower
PTSD is a real possibility with Victoria's apparent thinking. PTSD is VERY real and anyone can be effected/affected by it (it also effects the loved ones). Any traumatic happening can bring it on. Hubby is PTSD - not from his 20 yrs Navy time but from when he lost his Mom at 9 to Cervical Cancer. He also had problems re-arise again when I was DX'd almost 3 yrs ago with IBC.
I go to a Women's Retreat every 6 mths that is primarily towards PTSD and how to deal with it when a loved one lives/deals with it and/or when you live/deal with it personally. These retreats are for women who are collaterals (sp?) (wife/SO/daughter/mother/sister/ect.) of Veterans with PTSD or women Veterans. (Son's GF will be coming to the next one as her Dad is 'Nam Era Veteran and PTSD).
Victoria - please seek counciling with someone who really understands PTSD - not all do. PTSD does not effect all but it is. A possibility and there is help available. I have some good info about it, IF you (or anyone else) would like it - let me know and I'll pass it on.
Prayers
Winyan - The Power Within
Susan0 -
I am with the other pinkLighthouse_7 said:Hi Victoria,
I'm glad that
Hi Victoria,
I'm glad that you're getting some very understanding posts. I completely understand the feeling of just wanting to be left alone. I am 3 years out now from Stage 3 breast cancer and had lumpectomy, chemo and rads. I had terrible side effects from all of the A! drugs and opted to stop them. I will have to say though that I do still get my yearly mammo, but that's all. I also visit my oncologist, although sometimes I question that because all it is is a visit for him to (excuse the candor) "feel me up" and say all seems okay.
Whatever you do is your decision and I know I would still like you to come to these boards and chat. Linda is so right when she says to take time because this experience can wreck havoc with our minds.
All my best to you in whatever you decide. I am 58 years old.
Hugs,
Wanda
I am with the other pink sisters in that this is your choice. I will always be praying for you and always here for you as will the others.
Good luck and take care,
Lex0 -
I do get it,madsters1 said:Thank you all for your
Thank you all for your concern, advice and well wishes. The "big deal" here that I think I'm not communicating is that FINDING a local recurrence IS the problem. Treatment would look something like this: If it's in the other breast, I'd go through ALL that I JUST went through(lumpectomy, chemo w/port, rads & meds). If it were found in the same breast, a mastectomy which I would NOT do, AND all of the previous treatment. To me that's not life.
After my initial diagnosis at 44, where I had a single mastectomy, chemo, no port, meds, and horrible se, I said I would NEVER have chemo again. When diagnosed with mets 8 1/2 years later, I looked into vaccine trials and alternative meds b4 agreeing to chemo. The only surgery was 2 biopsies and a port. My decision to do chemo again was with the love of my children and support of friends and family who knew I did not want to go thru it again.
With mets, the chemo has been different, se not as severe. Goal now is to give me the best quality of life possible, for as long as my body will tolerate treatments. It is not a piece of cake, but it certainly is not the A/C that I had the first time around, and although my quality of life is not the same, for me it beats the alternative. Going on 21 months when they didn't think I would make it 6 months.
I respect and understand your decision, I just hope you keep your options open if there ever is another lump, even if it is only to remove the lump. Hopefully, the treatments you have had will keep the beast from ever returning.
My situation was different, we knew my bc was HRT induced due to years of treatment with estrogen, estrace and progesterone to stop bleeding, then again following a hysterectomy. I was told from day one that the chance of mets/recurrence were much higher in hrt induced bc.0 -
I gotta say I am surprised,New Flower said:I agree with barb and everyone enjoying life
Hi Victoria,
Very interesting way of coping with PTSD no mammography forever! I hope as time goes by you will be healed and Reconsider your decision. Time is the best medicine and will put everything into perspective for you. Of course cancer detection and treatment is a personal choice and should be respected.
Four years ago I was "46, very young-looking female". I guess I am looking ok for my age now. Being diagnosed with stage III I undergone all available treatments, including all available anti- estrogen therapies.
While physically I am not the same, both my soul and spirit determine me, not my age and my birth certificate.
Good luck to you on your journey
New Flower
I gotta say I am surprised, very much so to see PTSD brought into this. How did you come to that conclusion?0 -
Thank you again Linda.Gabe N Abby Mom said:As someone who has had both
As someone who has had both a local recurrence and mets I feel compelled to point out that treatment plans for recurrence and/or mets is NOT the same as the original treatment plan.
Just as we are each individuals and have individual treatments, the same is true of mets and/or recurrence.
In the case of mets, the philosophy behind treatment is different. When I was originally dx'd the plan was all about getting rid of the cancer so that it would never come back. With mets, the plan is all about containing the cancer and making sure I have quality of life (whatever that is) at the same time. It's about maintaining a balance between the two.
Another difference...my first treatments included 44 rounds of rads. No rads at all so far...my chemo meds are vastly different (I was on an oral chemo for a while)...se's are also dramatically different...first time no port, second time yes port...
In my head, I really do see two separate distinct issues. The original dx and treatment was so very different from the recurrence/mets...even though the pathology is the same, it's like they are different diseases.
Yes, the local recurrence did mean another surgery for me. But to assume it would automatically means a mastectomy might be jumping the gun a bit.
I also feel compelled to say again that none of us can predict the future, and none of us know what choices we will make down the road.
Hugs,
Linda
Thank you again Linda. You've given me something to think about. I recently had a chest MRI for something else, I'm considering that as, good as if not better than a mammo.0 -
I have to say I'm a bitRague said:Glad you brought up PTSD
PTSD is a real possibility with Victoria's apparent thinking. PTSD is VERY real and anyone can be effected/affected by it (it also effects the loved ones). Any traumatic happening can bring it on. Hubby is PTSD - not from his 20 yrs Navy time but from when he lost his Mom at 9 to Cervical Cancer. He also had problems re-arise again when I was DX'd almost 3 yrs ago with IBC.
I go to a Women's Retreat every 6 mths that is primarily towards PTSD and how to deal with it when a loved one lives/deals with it and/or when you live/deal with it personally. These retreats are for women who are collaterals (sp?) (wife/SO/daughter/mother/sister/ect.) of Veterans with PTSD or women Veterans. (Son's GF will be coming to the next one as her Dad is 'Nam Era Veteran and PTSD).
Victoria - please seek counciling with someone who really understands PTSD - not all do. PTSD does not effect all but it is. A possibility and there is help available. I have some good info about it, IF you (or anyone else) would like it - let me know and I'll pass it on.
Prayers
Winyan - The Power Within
Susan
I have to say I'm a bit surprised and put out by your "diagnosis" of PTSD. I do have the right to decline medical recommendations if I chose to. I'm surely not the first or the last to do so. I will also add that if you want to discuss "Victoria's apparent thinking" you might've done it with me privately.
Don't mean to be so ugly, but it ticked me off!0 -
I do understand, I am tireddisneyfan2008 said:Victoria: NO one can judge
Victoria: NO one can judge until walked in your shoes...!
we all must do what is best or we think and feel is best for us..
Denise
I do understand, I am tired and am absolutely traumatized by what I have been through. Every visit, doctor dentist appointment is so stressful. I felt that I did not want to be touched ever again. However what is it to say that if you had another diagnosis it would be the same? some people may get rediagnosed and just need less invasive treatment. have you ever considered having a bilateral mastectomy to lessen your chances?
Everyone is different on anti estrogens but I am ok. I am not dry, and exersize helps to alleviate joint pain. I am tired, much more easily. Is it from the anti estrogens? I dont know. I have the same hair. although it is wavy now. It affects my mood and I need a small dose of antidepressant. Are you 48 and have a long life to live? yes, so try to think about doing the prudent thing, and advocate for your health. If I can help it I want to be around as long as possible. It would be nice to die in my sleep at an old age. do i think this will happen? not really but I hold on to my hope. Everyone is different, but I bet many people will admit to not wanting to be touched. I think as someone else said, this will lessen for you. Hugs and congrats on finishing treatment and onto your new normal!0 -
Thanks so much for yourcarkris said:I do understand, I am tired
I do understand, I am tired and am absolutely traumatized by what I have been through. Every visit, doctor dentist appointment is so stressful. I felt that I did not want to be touched ever again. However what is it to say that if you had another diagnosis it would be the same? some people may get rediagnosed and just need less invasive treatment. have you ever considered having a bilateral mastectomy to lessen your chances?
Everyone is different on anti estrogens but I am ok. I am not dry, and exersize helps to alleviate joint pain. I am tired, much more easily. Is it from the anti estrogens? I dont know. I have the same hair. although it is wavy now. It affects my mood and I need a small dose of antidepressant. Are you 48 and have a long life to live? yes, so try to think about doing the prudent thing, and advocate for your health. If I can help it I want to be around as long as possible. It would be nice to die in my sleep at an old age. do i think this will happen? not really but I hold on to my hope. Everyone is different, but I bet many people will admit to not wanting to be touched. I think as someone else said, this will lessen for you. Hugs and congrats on finishing treatment and onto your new normal!
Thanks so much for your encouraging words and personal testimony of your own health on anti estrogens. As for the bilateral, all along it has not at all been the fear of cancer taking my life. The treatments have been far worse. I would never even consider a mastectomy. Thank you again and God bless.0 -
I usually do not get involved in any argumentsmadsters1 said:I have to say I'm a bit
I have to say I'm a bit surprised and put out by your "diagnosis" of PTSD. I do have the right to decline medical recommendations if I chose to. I'm surely not the first or the last to do so. I will also add that if you want to discuss "Victoria's apparent thinking" you might've done it with me privately.
Don't mean to be so ugly, but it ticked me off!
Victoria,
As I have said I am respecting your choice.
I think everyone want to be treated fairy, openly expressing opinion and trying be polite and sincere. I am sorry that you feel offended, however it is my sincere believe that for most of us cancer diagnosis and treatment have been traumatic experience.
I also feel that you have offended several people, including myself. For many mastectomy was not a choice, but the only way to survive. We have families and children and followed our doctor's recommendations. Because of those decisions, we are here having this conversation and respecting your choice, sharing our lives. Being sensitive is not a one way street. Please keep it in mind
Wishing you the best
New Flower0 -
To all of you dear, dearNew Flower said:I usually do not get involved in any arguments
Victoria,
As I have said I am respecting your choice.
I think everyone want to be treated fairy, openly expressing opinion and trying be polite and sincere. I am sorry that you feel offended, however it is my sincere believe that for most of us cancer diagnosis and treatment have been traumatic experience.
I also feel that you have offended several people, including myself. For many mastectomy was not a choice, but the only way to survive. We have families and children and followed our doctor's recommendations. Because of those decisions, we are here having this conversation and respecting your choice, sharing our lives. Being sensitive is not a one way street. Please keep it in mind
Wishing you the best
New Flower
To all of you dear, dear ladies who have made to VERY difficult decision to have a mastectomy and have then bravely gone on to live full lives, I COMMEND YOU AND VERY MUCH RESPECT YOU. My replys and personal thoughts about having a mastectomy were in NO way directed to any of you, but were simply my own opinions about MY decisions for treatment. There was absolutely NO insensitivity towards any of you.You are incredible people.
My offense was due to a comment that I perceived to be insensitive about my treatment decision. It is not my intent to argue, but to state that the comment offended me. I may have been more open to those thoughts had they been given directly to me. I too do not want this to be an argument. I wish you the best and hope we can continue to support one another.0 -
I've thought long and hardmadsters1 said:Thanks so much for your
Thanks so much for your encouraging words and personal testimony of your own health on anti estrogens. As for the bilateral, all along it has not at all been the fear of cancer taking my life. The treatments have been far worse. I would never even consider a mastectomy. Thank you again and God bless.
I've thought long and hard about your comments regarding further treatment and even testing. At first I was surprised but then I get it. I was diagnosed with stage 3a IDC in 2009; had a lumpectomy, 4 rounds A/C, 12 of taxol and 30+ days of rads. None of it easy. I've found the new me, but I'm not sure (and I've never shared this) that if I had a recurrence I'd go through treatment again. If a mastectomy were the solution, piece of cake decision, (not to say anyone who had a mastectomy had an easy time - just that lack of "killer boobs" wouldn't bother me) I'd do that, but chemo - not so much. Treatment was hard on me but it was a huge strain on my husband and financially, we're still paying off my rads (ran from one year to the next and had new deductible for 2 weeks of treatment).
Anyway that being said I'll still continue semi annual visits to my MO and annual mammos just to give myself the option, if the need should ever arise.
Just felt compelled to share that, maybe more for me than you.
Praying that we all make decisions that are right for us.
marge0 -
living life
we are all survivors.
i believe if i could handle this. i can handle anything. i was diagnosed with lobular invasive carcinoma - breast cancer stage 1. i had a lumpectomy, double mastectomy and will begin reconstruction. no chemo and no radiation necessary because it did not mets. i was lucky to catch it early. i am on tamoxifen. i am experiencing irregular periods and hair thinning.
we all have the freedom to make the choices that are best for us. we make the choices and we live with the consequences. as long as you live your life to the fullest, you will have no regrets. your life is on your terms.
i respect any decision people make.
i have changed since the diagnosis. i do not feel like myself because i am a new me. i take much better care of myself. i eat as organic as possible. i see life more clearly. i was given this chance to live a better life. i do not fear much anymore. what else could happen to me? if it recurs, i hope to find it early. i surround myself with supportive family and friends. remove unhealthy people and situations as much as i can.
whatever you do, live your life.
life is for the living.
love and blessing to you all0 -
Victoria, just sending you amadsters1 said:Thank you all for your
Thank you all for your concern, advice and well wishes. The "big deal" here that I think I'm not communicating is that FINDING a local recurrence IS the problem. Treatment would look something like this: If it's in the other breast, I'd go through ALL that I JUST went through(lumpectomy, chemo w/port, rads & meds). If it were found in the same breast, a mastectomy which I would NOT do, AND all of the previous treatment. To me that's not life.
Victoria, just sending you a big hug and praying that you never have to face whether you would or not get treatment or surgery again.
Hugs, Kylez0 -
My two cents...supergirl13 said:living life
we are all survivors.
i believe if i could handle this. i can handle anything. i was diagnosed with lobular invasive carcinoma - breast cancer stage 1. i had a lumpectomy, double mastectomy and will begin reconstruction. no chemo and no radiation necessary because it did not mets. i was lucky to catch it early. i am on tamoxifen. i am experiencing irregular periods and hair thinning.
we all have the freedom to make the choices that are best for us. we make the choices and we live with the consequences. as long as you live your life to the fullest, you will have no regrets. your life is on your terms.
i respect any decision people make.
i have changed since the diagnosis. i do not feel like myself because i am a new me. i take much better care of myself. i eat as organic as possible. i see life more clearly. i was given this chance to live a better life. i do not fear much anymore. what else could happen to me? if it recurs, i hope to find it early. i surround myself with supportive family and friends. remove unhealthy people and situations as much as i can.
whatever you do, live your life.
life is for the living.
love and blessing to you all
You have the right to your medical decisions...we all do...you have to do what you feel is best for you...
Butt I feel the need to add this..breast cancer doesn't always "reappear" in the breast as many on this board know, first hand... Still mammos are a great first line of defense for a breast recurrence...I found my flat almond shaped lump 3 months after a mammo...I was dx in 2009... Lumpectomy, chemo, radiation...I am triple negative...I felt an enlarged lymph right above my clavicle in June 2011...it was back, in my lymph nodes....went into a clinical trial...didn't work...then went on an oral chemo for 7 months...had PET andCAT scans this past Feb...showed 3 small spots on my brain and a spot on my liver...had 10 radiation treatments for that..had a port installed and having chemo every 2 weeks...again...is it fun? No! Do I hate it? Yes! But...and here's MY BUT...It sure beats the alternative! I want to be here for my husband, grown kids and my 4grands....I'll do what ever is offered...
As for the PTDS..I don't think that was meant to be offensive...all 3 of my doctors have brought this up to me..it is real...what we go through in trying to rid our bodies of cancer is traumatic! It does exist and nothing to be ashamed of...
I also am on an antidepressant....I take Zanax at night...the first go round I took the lowest dose of good old Valium...it helps greatly...also take Remeron at bedtime...it's an antidepressant but I take it to increase my appetite as I have lost 24 pounds which I didn't need to...
Please keep posting...we truly care...we can walk you through this...these women have truly saved my sanity at times..
Hugs, Nancy0 -
I am now 56
I was diagnosed with PTSD about 3 months after my double mastectomy. Once I read up on it a lot of things then made sense.
Chemo knocked me on my butt and has taken me a good year an a half to say I am finally starting to get on a normal keel. Originally I said I would never go thru this again but now I know if I have to go thru chemo again I can do it. I am a TNBC so there is no maintenace drugs for me. My Mom had no severe side effects from them. Others I have talked with have. Mom will be 80 this October and still has her mammo on her remianing breast.
My only advice is to give yourself some time. You have been to hell and back. You might change your mind later and you may not.0 -
Honestly, I don't know whatNew Flower said:I agree with barb and everyone enjoying life
Hi Victoria,
Very interesting way of coping with PTSD no mammography forever! I hope as time goes by you will be healed and Reconsider your decision. Time is the best medicine and will put everything into perspective for you. Of course cancer detection and treatment is a personal choice and should be respected.
Four years ago I was "46, very young-looking female". I guess I am looking ok for my age now. Being diagnosed with stage III I undergone all available treatments, including all available anti- estrogen therapies.
While physically I am not the same, both my soul and spirit determine me, not my age and my birth certificate.
Good luck to you on your journey
New Flower
Honestly, I don't know what I would do if the bc came back. I do not, nor would I ever, judge anyone for any decision they would make.
Everyone just has to do what is best for them and no one else.
Hugs and good luck!0
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