I told my daughter finally

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rallendorfer
rallendorfer Member Posts: 244
I just don't know why I wasn't able to tell her up until now. She lives 3 hours away and remarried and had another baby and seemed to want to live it this go-round without me. I was very much involved in her life when she was married before and had 2 of my grandchildren. How I loved those times! But when she moved, she wanted her independence from me. I understand though. However, when this disease came along and I went to the lowest point of my life, she was not there to tell or find help and support in. It crushed me. And yet I wanted to tell her in a way that was not pressuring her or would cause her guilt. So I prayed, and others prayed. Then one day a friend suggested that I email her and ask her to call when she gets a quiet moment because I have something that I need to talk with her about. She didn't call right away, but after 2 days she called me at work. After exchanging the pleasantries and "how are you's" I was able to break into the subject gently. I told her that I am doing ok and holding my own, and that I have a great doctor and supportive friends and this discussion board! I don't need anything from her...I just want her to care about me...and love me.

And guess what?!! She is coming to visit me today with the 3 grandchildren, all day! So, girls, I have to get off of here and go to the grocery store. What should I fix? Tuna salad? I need something to drink for them, and some ice cream cones for my grandkids!! The fun fun fun stuff!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'll let you know how it goes.

Comments

  • ksf56
    ksf56 Member Posts: 202
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    Yay!
    I hope and pray you have a wonderful day together! This disease can have some hidden blessings - please let this be one of those blessings! Let us know how it goes!

    Hugs!
    Karen
  • RozHopkins
    RozHopkins Member Posts: 578 Member
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    Sad
    It's a shame your daughter couldn't at least have supported you via phone calls, cards, emails, flowers etc as you would have appreciated that so much. If she had known would she have done those things? Positive feelings help us heel. Have a lovely day with your family and I hope now the door is open to routine, frequent, communication and we are all important even in our busy lives.
  • VickiSam
    VickiSam Member Posts: 9,079 Member
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    Sad
    It's a shame your daughter couldn't at least have supported you via phone calls, cards, emails, flowers etc as you would have appreciated that so much. If she had known would she have done those things? Positive feelings help us heel. Have a lovely day with your family and I hope now the door is open to routine, frequent, communication and we are all important even in our busy lives.

    bumping up ...
    ....
  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
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    so happy all worked
    so happy all worked out...well...I hope you have a great visit...and great to see grandkids...exciting..

    Denise
  • Gabe N Abby Mom
    Gabe N Abby Mom Member Posts: 2,413
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    Your joy and excitement
    Your joy and excitement about the day just shine through. I hope it is everything you expect, and that it leads to many more days together.

    Hugs,

    Linda
  • mariam_11_09
    mariam_11_09 Member Posts: 691
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    How lovely they are coming
    How lovely they are coming to visit! I really hope that you have a great time with your grandkids and rekindle some of the closeness you have had with your daughter.

    I really admire you for telling her that you didn't need anything from her but wnated her to her to care about you and love you. That was very honest and soulful. And the result very sweet.

    wish you all the best and let us know how the visit went.
  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
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    not perfect set up but try
    not perfect set up but try to take the POSITIVES and not dwell on negatives..

    I know easier said then done..but enjoy the time you have with your grandkids...


    wish you the best

    Denise
  • missrenee
    missrenee Member Posts: 2,136 Member
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    not perfect set up but try
    not perfect set up but try to take the POSITIVES and not dwell on negatives..

    I know easier said then done..but enjoy the time you have with your grandkids...


    wish you the best

    Denise

    Oh, sweetie, you just enjoy your day
    Stay in the moment and enjoy your time with your daughter and grandkids. I'm learning we can't control others' actions--only our own. Sometimes when I'm down and out and I haven't heard from certain friends/family, I tend to think they don't care. But, then I try to remind myself--everyone's life is so busy now and the love is still there even if they aren't. Soon enough--they come around or call again.

    Have a great time!

    Hugs, Renee
  • salls41
    salls41 Member Posts: 340
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    Hope it is all you want it to be
    I hope this day turns out to be all that you want it to be. There is much to be said for the love of our children and their love of us in this healing process. My youngest has been a little distant from me lately and it makes me sad so I can only imagine how you have felt. I am so happy she is reaching out to you! Update us how the day went!
    Hugs to you!
    Sandy
  • Bella Luna
    Bella Luna Member Posts: 1,578 Member
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    Yeah!
    So happy for you. You enjoy your time with your daughter and grandkids. I love tuna and so does my 11 year old daughter. What a blessing you are to your family.
  • CypressCynthia
    CypressCynthia Member Posts: 4,014 Member
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    I am so glad that she is
    I am so glad that she is coming to see you. Maybe her distancing herself was something she just felt necessary for that interval. Our daughter did that for a time, but now we are closer than ever. Sometimes, I think she needed that space to come into her own as an adult.

    Whatever the reason, enjoy your day and tuna sounds yummy to me :-)
  • eihtak
    eihtak Member Posts: 1,473 Member
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    Family...
    Tomorrow becomes today and pretty soon its yesterday so enjoy every minute with that daughter and grankids that you have. Having cancer has made me not want to waste a single day being angry or too upset with anyone, tho sometimes I do have to remind myself of that! Grandkids are my lifesavers, I am lucky enough to have 6 boys! Don't they just make everything somehow better? A while ago one of my daughters felt the need to distance herself a bit also in search of more independence or to reinvent herself somehow, then after a serious family situation she realized that she was ok with who she was I guess. She has continued to be as close as when she was young ever since...I pray the same for you. I love tuna salad, but one of my grandsons would think I was trying to poison him if that is what I served! Have fun!
  • Ritzy
    Ritzy Member Posts: 4,381 Member
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    so happy all worked
    so happy all worked out...well...I hope you have a great visit...and great to see grandkids...exciting..

    Denise

    Hoping you had a wonderful
    Hoping you had a wonderful time!


    Sue :)
  • StaceyPMD1121
    StaceyPMD1121 Member Posts: 65
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    Glad for you Restoring your Relationship With Daughter

    Hi rallendorfer,

    Glad that you have allowed God to restore your relationship with your daughter. Prayer works and I pray that the lines of communication between you and your daughter are never broken again in Jesus name. I believe in talking to your relatives. Time is to short for us to carry grudges. You did the right thing you prayed for God's help that is what he is there for!!! To make a way out of no way. Continue to enjoy your daughter and your grandchildren whenever you can. I believe that you will now be closer than you have ever been. God bless you, your daughter, and entire family!!! Remember the family that prays together stays together!!!

    Peace & Blessings,
    Stacey
  • DebbyM
    DebbyM Member Posts: 3,289 Member
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    Glad for you Restoring your Relationship With Daughter

    Hi rallendorfer,

    Glad that you have allowed God to restore your relationship with your daughter. Prayer works and I pray that the lines of communication between you and your daughter are never broken again in Jesus name. I believe in talking to your relatives. Time is to short for us to carry grudges. You did the right thing you prayed for God's help that is what he is there for!!! To make a way out of no way. Continue to enjoy your daughter and your grandchildren whenever you can. I believe that you will now be closer than you have ever been. God bless you, your daughter, and entire family!!! Remember the family that prays together stays together!!!

    Peace & Blessings,
    Stacey

    Loved reading this! It
    Loved reading this! It sounds like a perfect day!


    Hugs, Debby
  • survivorbc09
    survivorbc09 Member Posts: 4,374 Member
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    Your joy and excitement
    Your joy and excitement about the day just shine through. I hope it is everything you expect, and that it leads to many more days together.

    Hugs,

    Linda

    I am so happy that you and
    I am so happy that you and your daughter are back together again. The happiness comes thru in your post.


    Hugs, Jan