Looks like the beast may be back. So upset!!

mom2greatkids

My CT from last week was clean. However, 4 lymph nodes lit up on the petscan. 3 in the chest area, and one near the thyroid. The NP said that they are too small to biopsy which is the only way to be 100% sure of cancer.

She said she felt like the dr. would order a CT on chest area, as petscans show everything. She said it's not unusual to have false positives on petscans. I have had a bad feeling for a few weeks now that something would show up. Abdominal CT was completely clean. She said he may wait 3 weeks to scan it. I should hear something this afternoon.

I can't stop crying. I HATE being alone. I miss my husband so much. I really need him so much!! Both kids are grown and moved away. I never want them to feel guilty about moving on with their lives. Just when it looked like I was beginning to be able to move on a little from husband's 2010 death,and my diagnosis last summer.

I have been in remission for 9 months. The NP told me not to freak out just yet. That even if it is a recurrence that it has been caught very early. But I am SO scared! I don't feel as optimistic as I did last year when I was first diagnosed.

Thanks

Carla

undertreatment2012

o my, your troubles are so
much more than mine. I am SO sorry. I could not imagine being alone in this without my family. I just cannot even imagine. I don't even know what to say to you. Is there a way you could move close to one of your kids? Nine months of remission. I am tearing up right along with you, putting myself in your place. I have noticed on here that so many of us "feel" when something is not right. I find that interesting. Having that feeling causes a lot of anxiety until confirmed and then the depression. I will pray for you, and please come back for support.

carolenk

undertreatment2012 said:

o my, your troubles are so
much more than mine. I am SO sorry. I could not imagine being alone in this without my family. I just cannot even imagine. I don't even know what to say to you. Is there a way you could move close to one of your kids? Nine months of remission. I am tearing up right along with you, putting myself in your place. I have noticed on here that so many of us "feel" when something is not right. I find that interesting. Having that feeling causes a lot of anxiety until confirmed and then the depression. I will pray for you, and please come back for support.

Strange situation
It seems strange to me that you had NOTHING light up in your abdomen/pelvis. I would think if you had recurrence, it would show up there as well. Did anyone tell you what else could cause these node to light up? I am so sorry you are having to deal with this at all, let alone without your husband.

I'm hoping for the best for you. (((hugs)))

poopergirl14052

carolenk said:

Strange situation
It seems strange to me that you had NOTHING light up in your abdomen/pelvis. I would think if you had recurrence, it would show up there as well. Did anyone tell you what else could cause these node to light up? I am so sorry you are having to deal with this at all, let alone without your husband.

I'm hoping for the best for you. (((hugs)))

we are here for you
I am sovery sorry honey.How have your tumor markers been. Maybe a pet'ct scan would be in order to rule out ...hugs and prayers..val

kikz

poopergirl14052 said:

we are here for you
I am sovery sorry honey.How have your tumor markers been. Maybe a pet'ct scan would be in order to rule out ...hugs and prayers..val

I am so sorry
for what you are going through. Please try to take it a step at a time which I know is easier said than done. I hope you can feel the love and support from the ladies on this board. Keep us informed. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Karen

mom2greatkids

UPDATE: Feeling better about things
My N.P. called me back this afternoon. She had spoke with my dr. (he only comes to the local clinic on Thursdays). He isn't overly concerned about it. He wants to see me May 24. For now he's going to take a wait and see approach. He wants the petscan repeated in 2 months. (soonest insurance will allow it again). She said that the doctor said he isn't convinced that it's related to the cancer.

I was told that they have many false positives on pet scans. This disease is such a roller coaster ride.

I live with my sister and her family. My sister is a teacher. She said she would go with me to appts. this summer. I hope to have a teaching job myself this next school year For now I'm just going to try to keep trying to put my life together and try to assume it's not cancer until it can be confirmed. I have several loving friends I attend church with and other friends in the area who encourage me also.

Thanks Ladies.

Carla

lovesanimals

mom2greatkids said:

UPDATE: Feeling better about things
My N.P. called me back this afternoon. She had spoke with my dr. (he only comes to the local clinic on Thursdays). He isn't overly concerned about it. He wants to see me May 24. For now he's going to take a wait and see approach. He wants the petscan repeated in 2 months. (soonest insurance will allow it again). She said that the doctor said he isn't convinced that it's related to the cancer.

I was told that they have many false positives on pet scans. This disease is such a roller coaster ride.

I live with my sister and her family. My sister is a teacher. She said she would go with me to appts. this summer. I hope to have a teaching job myself this next school year For now I'm just going to try to keep trying to put my life together and try to assume it's not cancer until it can be confirmed. I have several loving friends I attend church with and other friends in the area who encourage me also.

Thanks Ladies.

Carla

Dear Carla
I'm hoping and praying that you had a false positive on your pet scan. I wish I could be with you to hug you and hold your hand. None of us can make up for your beloved husband but please know that we're here for you anytime, no matter how you're feeling.

Lots of hugs,
Kelly

Mwee

mom2greatkids said:

UPDATE: Feeling better about things
My N.P. called me back this afternoon. She had spoke with my dr. (he only comes to the local clinic on Thursdays). He isn't overly concerned about it. He wants to see me May 24. For now he's going to take a wait and see approach. He wants the petscan repeated in 2 months. (soonest insurance will allow it again). She said that the doctor said he isn't convinced that it's related to the cancer.

I was told that they have many false positives on pet scans. This disease is such a roller coaster ride.

I live with my sister and her family. My sister is a teacher. She said she would go with me to appts. this summer. I hope to have a teaching job myself this next school year For now I'm just going to try to keep trying to put my life together and try to assume it's not cancer until it can be confirmed. I have several loving friends I attend church with and other friends in the area who encourage me also.

Thanks Ladies.

Carla

Dear Carla
I'm so glad that you are feeling some better and that you have your sister and other loving friends there with you. I'm excited to hear that you might have a teaching job in the fall... how wonderful!
(((HUGS))) Maria

mopar

HANG IN THERE, CARLA
I'm sure the 'wait and see' approach by your doctor is warranted, and hopefully this eases your mind a bit. But all those emotions are perfectly normal. We're always playing the 'waiting game' and wondering what's next. Give yourself some breathing room, Carla, and just take it one day at a time. I agree that even IF it's something, it's caught early and can be dealt with. So, while we dread having these tests and waiting for results, they are an ongoing part of our lives now.

Sending lots of Hugs and Prayers your way!

Monika

Sara2011

mom2greatkids said:

UPDATE: Feeling better about things
My N.P. called me back this afternoon. She had spoke with my dr. (he only comes to the local clinic on Thursdays). He isn't overly concerned about it. He wants to see me May 24. For now he's going to take a wait and see approach. He wants the petscan repeated in 2 months. (soonest insurance will allow it again). She said that the doctor said he isn't convinced that it's related to the cancer.

I was told that they have many false positives on pet scans. This disease is such a roller coaster ride.

I live with my sister and her family. My sister is a teacher. She said she would go with me to appts. this summer. I hope to have a teaching job myself this next school year For now I'm just going to try to keep trying to put my life together and try to assume it's not cancer until it can be confirmed. I have several loving friends I attend church with and other friends in the area who encourage me also.

Thanks Ladies.

Carla

Good to Hear!
Carla, you have been through a lot in the past couple of years! I'm glad you have a good support group around you. You are not alone...God cares and will strengthen you. It's not easy being in God's waiting room sometimes. Hang in there, I prayed for you tonight!