Just so tired
I don't want to be a PITA with my doctors. Actually, I just want this ALL to go away. I went to the endo because of my sugar. NOT my thyroid. It seems every time I go to the doctor, they find something that just makes me more nervous.
I am so depressed at the moment. I don't want to do anything, take to anyone, eat ... NOTHING! Who do I tell this to? I just think the doctors aren't REALLY listening.
I just want this STOP. Is that too much to ask for?
Comments
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Hi Ms Gebby
My thyroid was removed in November of 2009, and I have had issues over the last year balancing thyroid meds with the chemo. My MO will run the thyroid panel when I ask, then refers me to the endocrinologist. I can feel when it is off, I tend to get down and my weight goes up. He also referred me to my gastrologist following extreme stomach pain after rads, and to the eye surgeon when my eyes got so blurry now with the chemo and steroids.
I asked him why he doesn't just manage all of it and he said that he is not an expert in those fields. Simple but makes sense. I had diverticulitis from damage to intestines following rads, and cataracts from the chemo/steroids. I will have cataract surgery in 3 weeks, and the gastro gave me meds and a diet to heal my intestines.
At first I felt like he didn't care, it is a pita to see so many doctors. After thinking about it, it makes sense. I wouldn't want those doctors messing with my chemo.
Hope it gets better for you! We do care!
Carol0 -
Oh Honey
I know what you are going through. Vent away. Depression unfortunatly is a side effect of our disease. I've had times like you. I see a therapist and do take medication. It doesn't help all the time but sometimes it does. What your feeling is normal for all you are going through. I was severely ill for two and a half years, recurrance, infections, wound that wouldn't heal etc. I thought it would never end. It took another six months before I started to feel a new normal in my life. It's tough and you are tough as you wind your way down this strange road. I feel for you and if I could I'd give you a big hug and tell you there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I'll say a special prayer for you tonight. Bless You.
Terry0 -
A little Help...
Dear Mary,
You have been through a lot this past year and it is very reasonable that you are tired of it all. Perhaps you could call your primary doctor and ask for something to help you over the hump. A lot of people use a little something for depression.
Every person on this board would like it to all go away. I often feel if I don't see the doctor, I won't have to hear what I don't want to know. However, common sense tells me I must and I go. It is a very common feeling to want it all to stop and go away.
Call your primary and ask for something.
Best,
Doris0 -
Yep, a little helpSIROD said:A little Help...
Dear Mary,
You have been through a lot this past year and it is very reasonable that you are tired of it all. Perhaps you could call your primary doctor and ask for something to help you over the hump. A lot of people use a little something for depression.
Every person on this board would like it to all go away. I often feel if I don't see the doctor, I won't have to hear what I don't want to know. However, common sense tells me I must and I go. It is a very common feeling to want it all to stop and go away.
Call your primary and ask for something.
Best,
Doris
This past year has taken a toll on you emotionally as well as physically and all that can bring on depression. Thyroid issues can also cause depression. It is nothing to be ashamed about. You don't have to tough it out. And then everytime you turn around, someone looks for something new to send you into a state of worry!
I've always been positive about my prognosis and my current status, but I can honestly say that I really do believe it now - 2 years later. All the treatments and scarey side trips were really awful and my cancer and all the what if's were always right there in front of me. I think the longer you're dancing with NED, the better it will be for you. In the meantime, maybe a nice chat with your pcp about your anxiety and depression would be in order. I've learned (after 2 years) that my pcp is my real go-to supporter - all the sub,subspecialists are only focused on what they're assigned to treat and they really don't want to hear about anything else. Where, oh where, is Marcus Welby?
Please take care of yourself so you can be yourself to enjoy your health and for others who love you.
Suzanne0 -
I'm so sorry that you aremom62 said:Oh Honey
I know what you are going through. Vent away. Depression unfortunatly is a side effect of our disease. I've had times like you. I see a therapist and do take medication. It doesn't help all the time but sometimes it does. What your feeling is normal for all you are going through. I was severely ill for two and a half years, recurrance, infections, wound that wouldn't heal etc. I thought it would never end. It took another six months before I started to feel a new normal in my life. It's tough and you are tough as you wind your way down this strange road. I feel for you and if I could I'd give you a big hug and tell you there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I'll say a special prayer for you tonight. Bless You.
Terry
I'm so sorry that you are feeling like this and wish I could do more than just write. It sounds like you are depressed, which is very understandable. Perhaps you could talk about this to your oncologist and see if he can prescribe an antidepressant or something to help get you through this rough time. I hope you can get some help and feel better.0 -
Worried for you...
I truly felt your pain when I read your post. This is hard....the hardest thing that you probably have faced. But in the little time that I have "known" you through this site, I have learned one thing - you are a fighter. You are depressed now...I have been there and I understand that...but this too shall pass. I want you to please eat, drink and take care of yourself. Remember...pink ladies are among the strongest ladies out there.
Hugs and prayers, my friend.
Dorene0 -
Praying for youJobi said:Worried for you...
I truly felt your pain when I read your post. This is hard....the hardest thing that you probably have faced. But in the little time that I have "known" you through this site, I have learned one thing - you are a fighter. You are depressed now...I have been there and I understand that...but this too shall pass. I want you to please eat, drink and take care of yourself. Remember...pink ladies are among the strongest ladies out there.
Hugs and prayers, my friend.
Dorene
I am hoping that you will soon start feeling better. We all can understand why you are depressed now, but, you just don't want to stay that way for long. Talk to your onco and see if he can help you through this rough time.
Hugs, Jan0 -
Either
You stated you went to the endo becuause of your sugar. Does this mean you have diabetes ? Diabetes can also result in depression. Cancer treatment alone could do it and then you have the other issues. Ask any of the doctors treating you for something to take for depression. The oncologist or endo doctor would have some idea what will work well with your treatment regimen. There is no point in feeling depressed if there is a drug out there that can help you feel better so take advantage of another weapon we have in the arsenal against this disease. If this disease wants to get ugly with you then get ugly right back at it.0 -
Hoping that you are feelingDouble Whammy said:Yep, a little help
This past year has taken a toll on you emotionally as well as physically and all that can bring on depression. Thyroid issues can also cause depression. It is nothing to be ashamed about. You don't have to tough it out. And then everytime you turn around, someone looks for something new to send you into a state of worry!
I've always been positive about my prognosis and my current status, but I can honestly say that I really do believe it now - 2 years later. All the treatments and scarey side trips were really awful and my cancer and all the what if's were always right there in front of me. I think the longer you're dancing with NED, the better it will be for you. In the meantime, maybe a nice chat with your pcp about your anxiety and depression would be in order. I've learned (after 2 years) that my pcp is my real go-to supporter - all the sub,subspecialists are only focused on what they're assigned to treat and they really don't want to hear about anything else. Where, oh where, is Marcus Welby?
Please take care of yourself so you can be yourself to enjoy your health and for others who love you.
Suzanne
Hoping that you are feeling better by now Mary and possibly even got some help with your depression. Post an update when you feel like it.
Hugs, Lex0 -
Thank You Everyone
I did talk with my pcp and she prescribed Effexor. It is a drug that is taken in stages to build it up in the system.
My husband had a birthday on Thursday and that has kept me busy since. He took off until Monday and I've been spoiling him. THAT has kept my mind on a bright spot. So I am feeling better at the moment.
I have a CT scan scheduled on the 9th. It will put to rest, I hope, the issue with the pulmonary nodules in my lungs. I just hope nothing will be found in my breasts.
Still waiting for answers on my thyroid. At this point, I don't care. Knowing that thyroid cancer is curable makes it a little easier to deal with (IF it is cancer)
SO,thank you my dear sisters, for once again standing by me and giving me strength.
Sending hugs to you all
Mary0 -
Do you have any results onMsGebby said:Thank You Everyone
I did talk with my pcp and she prescribed Effexor. It is a drug that is taken in stages to build it up in the system.
My husband had a birthday on Thursday and that has kept me busy since. He took off until Monday and I've been spoiling him. THAT has kept my mind on a bright spot. So I am feeling better at the moment.
I have a CT scan scheduled on the 9th. It will put to rest, I hope, the issue with the pulmonary nodules in my lungs. I just hope nothing will be found in my breasts.
Still waiting for answers on my thyroid. At this point, I don't care. Knowing that thyroid cancer is curable makes it a little easier to deal with (IF it is cancer)
SO,thank you my dear sisters, for once again standing by me and giving me strength.
Sending hugs to you all
Mary
Do you have any results on your CT scan yet Mary? Praying that you will get good results.
Hugs, Jan0 -
NO answersurvivorbc09 said:Do you have any results on
Do you have any results on your CT scan yet Mary? Praying that you will get good results.
Hugs, Jan
just yet ... Had to put off my CT scan. I had it today. As far as the results of the thyroid ultrasound ... I have pretty much resigned myself to playing the waiting game. That appointment is May 24 ... just around the corner. I am now seeing the lump right in the hollow of my neck. I have also noticed that the right collar bone has a noticeable lump on the end nearest the hollow of my neck.
I try soooooooooooooooo hard to not think of any of this. It all seems like EVERYTHING is happening at the same time. Could the lump in my thyroid, the swollen nodules in my neck, the nodules in my lungs, the breast cancer, the bone lump ... all be coincidence? I just don't know.
Right now, I am focusing on seeing my "baby girl" graduate from college. Her graduation is this weekend. Her college is in MA (I live in the NJ) so it will be fun to travel up that way to see her and show off my "proudest Mom look". I have also planned a visit to the Basketball Hall of Fame for my husband. He had a birthday last week and this will top off his celebration.
I thank you from the bottom of my heart, Jan. How sweet of you to be thinking of me. I have tears in my eyes right now because your kindness has overwhelmed me with joy.
~*~*~*~ HUGS ~*~*~*~
Mary0 -
Thinking of YouMsGebby said:NO answer
just yet ... Had to put off my CT scan. I had it today. As far as the results of the thyroid ultrasound ... I have pretty much resigned myself to playing the waiting game. That appointment is May 24 ... just around the corner. I am now seeing the lump right in the hollow of my neck. I have also noticed that the right collar bone has a noticeable lump on the end nearest the hollow of my neck.
I try soooooooooooooooo hard to not think of any of this. It all seems like EVERYTHING is happening at the same time. Could the lump in my thyroid, the swollen nodules in my neck, the nodules in my lungs, the breast cancer, the bone lump ... all be coincidence? I just don't know.
Right now, I am focusing on seeing my "baby girl" graduate from college. Her graduation is this weekend. Her college is in MA (I live in the NJ) so it will be fun to travel up that way to see her and show off my "proudest Mom look". I have also planned a visit to the Basketball Hall of Fame for my husband. He had a birthday last week and this will top off his celebration.
I thank you from the bottom of my heart, Jan. How sweet of you to be thinking of me. I have tears in my eyes right now because your kindness has overwhelmed me with joy.
~*~*~*~ HUGS ~*~*~*~
Mary
Hi Mary,
Have a good time at the graduation, what a proud moment that will be for you. I know how you feel. I have had lots of pain lately and think I'm losing my mind. It must be even harder for you as you can see the lumps when you look in the mirror. I hope it all ends up okay for you. I'm tired today, busy weekend and spent all day sleeping till 5:30PM when I got up to cook supper and finish laundry. Of course now I can't sleep. Keep us posted. I think I'm going to demand a PET scan when I go back to the onc in June. I had a CT scan but that didn't show anything, but it only did my upper chest area and when I was diagnosed last time I had a CT in January and another in May and the cancer was everywhere in my chest. Sometimes I think it's who reads them or I just had a fast growing cancer. Well I hope you have fun at the hall of fame too. It will be good for you to get away. Sorry about talking about myself. I wish you the best always.
Terry0 -
Hey Terrymom62 said:Thinking of You
Hi Mary,
Have a good time at the graduation, what a proud moment that will be for you. I know how you feel. I have had lots of pain lately and think I'm losing my mind. It must be even harder for you as you can see the lumps when you look in the mirror. I hope it all ends up okay for you. I'm tired today, busy weekend and spent all day sleeping till 5:30PM when I got up to cook supper and finish laundry. Of course now I can't sleep. Keep us posted. I think I'm going to demand a PET scan when I go back to the onc in June. I had a CT scan but that didn't show anything, but it only did my upper chest area and when I was diagnosed last time I had a CT in January and another in May and the cancer was everywhere in my chest. Sometimes I think it's who reads them or I just had a fast growing cancer. Well I hope you have fun at the hall of fame too. It will be good for you to get away. Sorry about talking about myself. I wish you the best always.
Terry
Talk about yourself to me ANYTIME. It does some good for both of us.
Reading your post ... I was (but shouldn't be) surprised about the CT Scan. I don't understand a lot of the workings AFTER active treatment has ended. I,too, have lung nodules that were 5-6mm on the last PET scan. I also had a bone island on my right hip. The doc decided on going with a chest CT scan rather than a PET this time. Not sure why. AND ...2 weeks ago he said I was NED! How can he tell me that without the scan results??
You say you have cancer in everywhere in your chest. I am cringing and saddened by this. What is your treatment at the moment? I don't understand a lot of this. I was diagnosed in August last year. It's been a rocky road ever since.
How do you keep up with the kids? Mine are grown now. One is in Israel (sad face) and the other, as you know, is in MA and graduating this weekend.
How was Mother's Day? The weather was fab u lous!
Thank you for thinking of me. Lord knows you have other things to worry about. I will keep you posted on the results when I get them. Will you do the same for me? Keep me posted on how you are doing?
Keep the Faith ....
Mary0 -
Scan and BHF....MsGebby said:NO answer
just yet ... Had to put off my CT scan. I had it today. As far as the results of the thyroid ultrasound ... I have pretty much resigned myself to playing the waiting game. That appointment is May 24 ... just around the corner. I am now seeing the lump right in the hollow of my neck. I have also noticed that the right collar bone has a noticeable lump on the end nearest the hollow of my neck.
I try soooooooooooooooo hard to not think of any of this. It all seems like EVERYTHING is happening at the same time. Could the lump in my thyroid, the swollen nodules in my neck, the nodules in my lungs, the breast cancer, the bone lump ... all be coincidence? I just don't know.
Right now, I am focusing on seeing my "baby girl" graduate from college. Her graduation is this weekend. Her college is in MA (I live in the NJ) so it will be fun to travel up that way to see her and show off my "proudest Mom look". I have also planned a visit to the Basketball Hall of Fame for my husband. He had a birthday last week and this will top off his celebration.
I thank you from the bottom of my heart, Jan. How sweet of you to be thinking of me. I have tears in my eyes right now because your kindness has overwhelmed me with joy.
~*~*~*~ HUGS ~*~*~*~
Mary
Wishing you the best Mary on the results of the scan.
Congratulations to your daughter on her college graduation. I took my youngest son and his friend to the Basketball Hall of Fame in Springfield years, and years ago. We spent hours there, to short a time for them, to long a time for me.
You deserve a great weekend, so enjoy!
Best,
Doris0
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