Brought this to the top for Carol....she needs our support.

cbpgill26

DWS49 said:

For Carol
I am hoping you will take time to calm your thoughts. Tackle each day as it comes. Don't try and imagine what may be, but imagine what you can do now, this day, to face the issues you need to attend to.

I had follicular and diffuse Large B cell non-hodgkins diagnosed in 2002. Since my treatments with CHOP and Retuxin I have beeen in remission and cancer free. There is always hope.

DWS49
I was so happy to see your post for me and others. My husband said one day at a time not two. He sounds like you. I am older I see if 49 is your age. I am 68 and that will make this harder to beat I am sure. There is still so much I want to do and was so full of life. Now I am on my knees. I hope I am stronger then I think but I feel so tired. I did breast cancer 8 yrs. ago. Seems easy compared to this. I only had radiation. This chemo. scares the pants off of me. I can't imagine tomorrow the first day of it and 6 hrs. OMG 4 hrs. Tues. to see what reaction I have. And what could that be? Scared to ask. I am having Chops and Retuxin too but my age concerns me greatly you guys are babies! I am so thrilled for you DWS stay healthy. I appreciate your post so much. As I said you are all I have at the end of the day to check in with for sanity. Carol Diffuse Large B Cell Lymphoma found in corner of my eye small mass March 2012. May try to eat a brownie and stay off of the phone. As I posted a lady called and said yep, her mom went right back into CA after remission and died. OMGosh I wanted to throw the phone at the wall. Not what I wanted to hear..........! Think she was so glad it wasn't her. Well, me too! I wouldn't wish this on anyone. Nite to all.

cbpgill26

jimwins said:

Congrats !
Congratulations DWS49 and thank you for giving me hope too .
If you've gone more than 5 years I believe it's considered CURED !

Hugs and positive thoughts,

Jim
DX: DLBL 4/2011, Chemo completed 10/2011, currently in remission.

DWH
I pray cured.

cbpgill26

Sue, how do I put you on my
Sue, how do I put you on my friends list? I managed to do jimwins then havn't a clue. Thanks for putting me up first. I am so grateful. xxxxxooo

jimwins

cbpgill26 said:

almost60
Port is so sore today. Bad nites rest. Glad that is behind me. Just got a phone call from a friend who made it clear her moms cancer came back in four mths. after treatment ended for breast cancer it went to her bones. Heck I had that breast cancer 8 yrs. ago. Now this!She went on to tell me how awful her mother's death was. I have been vomiting every since. I have done better somewhat mentally last two days then this kind of a slammer. She cried wanted things to go back to being the same. etc. etc. I nearly hung up. I will not answer the phone again for anyone but one special friend and close family. I did not need to hear this from her today of all days or any day. I was so elated to see you all out there today. You are all I am hanging onto. I feel blessed to have you. I wish we were all out of the woods forever and well. Shall the sun ever shine again on my face. I swear I wish I had the guts to call it quits myself. I am wracked with agony and fright. I am not as strong as you all are. I am the whimp of the group. I am sorry. Hugs. Diffuse Large B Cell lymphoma noticed first as a lump in the corner of my eye. March of 2012 Stage 1

Hi Carol
Hey Carol .

I see you found the post I mentioned in the email! Yay!
You survived radiation treatments and breast cancer so you
are not a whimp . But you are welcome to be a whimp here ☺.

Diffuse Large B Cell Lymphoma is very treatable and Stage 1 is the
"kindest" stage you can get. I see you read and responded to DWS49
very positive post - good job!

Once you get started with your treatments it will be better and be
less frightening. I was scared to death. They've come such a long way
today in managing treatment and side effects. Like you said, one day at
a time - also, one treatment at a time - just get through each one and before
you know it, you'll be done.

You are welcome here. We care about you and are here to
support you. Now we can't make your hair grow but hopefully we can make
you smile once in awhile.

Hug those baby dogs for me !

Jim

cbpgill26

anliperez915 said:

Hi Carol
Hi Carol,
I just wanted to say that you will be fine Carol, you just have to have faith in God, the Dr's, and the medicine. It's very scary at the beginning and to the unknown but just stay calm like Sue said and be strong and you will be fine OK Sweetie. I'm sending you a (((HUGE HUG)))

Sincerely,
Liz

Liz I felt your hug. I
Liz I felt your hug. I needed it. Thank You so much. How do I put you on my friends list for private messages? I am computer illiterate. Tomorrow first chemo day. OMG.

cbpgill26

forme said:

another thread
Hi Carol,

I posted to you under the thread " anyone hear from Carol"

Hope you are feeling a little less stressed this evening.

Hope to talk to you later. I have had a terriable time getting on the site the last few days.

Take care, Lisha

Lisha so glad to hear from
Lisha so glad to hear from you. I need some private post information. I have not a clue how to send private messages. By some fluke I got jimwins on it now can't figure it out. Your picture is lovely. I don't know how to upload stuff. Chemo tomorrow OMG. First day out.

cbpgill26

COBRA666 said:

Sloooow Drip
Carol,
Everyone gets the slow drip at first. They have to make sure your body does not have any reaction. I had a reaction myself of burning in the nose,so they had to slow it down for a few minutes more. After the body got accustomed they speeded it back up, but still took 6/7 hours to finish. John(FNHL-1-4A-5/10)

What will I do for six
What will I do for six hours? Freak out? OMG. You are all so brave.

allmost60

cbpgill26 said:

Sue, how do I put you on my
Sue, how do I put you on my friends list? I managed to do jimwins then havn't a clue. Thanks for putting me up first. I am so grateful. xxxxxooo

It's done...
Hi Carol,
I am now on your friends list. On your "About Me" page it shows my name listed as your friend. Next time you log on you will get a knowtice telling you so. When you want to add someone to your friends list, just click on their picture which will take you to their "About Me" page. Then scroll down and where it say's "Friends Action" click add as friend. I hope that makes sense to you. It's hard for me to explain how to do computer actions, as I'm not the brightest crayon in the box when it comes to techie stuff...ha!
On another note from your post about your friend calling....All I can say is "wow"...what lousy timing to tell you about someone passing away! Try to ignore people when they say things like that..I really don't believe they do it on purpose, more because they don't know what to say and then end up saying something stupid...ya know what I mean? I think it's a good idea to stay off the phone for the rest of the evening and just try to do something peaceful and calming. Maybe watch a funny t.v show, or read something light and up-lifting. When I get freaky over things I'll read articles on line that are interesting, but not depressing. I also look at funny video's...such as babies laughing...or animals doing funny stuff. Tomorrow is going to be a long day for you and you will need to be as rested as possible. I think you will probably sleep alot tomorrow while getting your infusion, from the pre-meds they give you. Ask the chemo nurse to ask your doctor about getting a sedative for the day...ativan or something similar. I promise you Carol...it will get better in time. This first go around is very scary, but you will most definetely make it through it. I just don't know what else to tell you, because I remember my first treatment, I felt EXACTLY like your feeling. My doctor had me on Zanax which really chilled me out the night before treatment. Do you have anything at home to take tonight? Well sweetie...I will be praying that peace comes to you tonight, and tomorrow I will be praying for a good day. You hang in there, and as soon as you feel up to it, please tell us how you are doing after treatment. If the steroid keeps you awake this week, just jump on here and we will be ready for you...(I will..forsure). Start a new discussion after treatment..ok? Just look at the top of the page and where it says new discussion.. click.. and write. If you keep adding to this thred it will get too big to follow. Anyways...be peaceful dear lady, and know we are all here for you. Much love to you Carol...Sue

cbpgill26

allmost60 said:

It's done...
Hi Carol,
I am now on your friends list. On your "About Me" page it shows my name listed as your friend. Next time you log on you will get a knowtice telling you so. When you want to add someone to your friends list, just click on their picture which will take you to their "About Me" page. Then scroll down and where it say's "Friends Action" click add as friend. I hope that makes sense to you. It's hard for me to explain how to do computer actions, as I'm not the brightest crayon in the box when it comes to techie stuff...ha!
On another note from your post about your friend calling....All I can say is "wow"...what lousy timing to tell you about someone passing away! Try to ignore people when they say things like that..I really don't believe they do it on purpose, more because they don't know what to say and then end up saying something stupid...ya know what I mean? I think it's a good idea to stay off the phone for the rest of the evening and just try to do something peaceful and calming. Maybe watch a funny t.v show, or read something light and up-lifting. When I get freaky over things I'll read articles on line that are interesting, but not depressing. I also look at funny video's...such as babies laughing...or animals doing funny stuff. Tomorrow is going to be a long day for you and you will need to be as rested as possible. I think you will probably sleep alot tomorrow while getting your infusion, from the pre-meds they give you. Ask the chemo nurse to ask your doctor about getting a sedative for the day...ativan or something similar. I promise you Carol...it will get better in time. This first go around is very scary, but you will most definetely make it through it. I just don't know what else to tell you, because I remember my first treatment, I felt EXACTLY like your feeling. My doctor had me on Zanax which really chilled me out the night before treatment. Do you have anything at home to take tonight? Well sweetie...I will be praying that peace comes to you tonight, and tomorrow I will be praying for a good day. You hang in there, and as soon as you feel up to it, please tell us how you are doing after treatment. If the steroid keeps you awake this week, just jump on here and we will be ready for you...(I will..forsure). Start a new discussion after treatment..ok? Just look at the top of the page and where it says new discussion.. click.. and write. If you keep adding to this thred it will get too big to follow. Anyways...be peaceful dear lady, and know we are all here for you. Much love to you Carol...Sue

Chemo Day two after Day one Retuxin
Dear God it is after two AM and I am bouncing off the walls. Treatment was tiring and so many bags of stuff for this chops. I told the doc. I had vilolent headaches from Prednisone. He said he never heard of that. Well, I told him I hurt so bad I am in bed crying when I take the stuff at only 40mg a day. I see 100mg for five days. OMGosh. He gave me vicodin but I ate one and it could have been a jelly bean. I have slept an hour and up an hour. I am very shaky and having hot flashes. Living with a fan on my face and ice bags. Tomorrow I go for the lunesta shot. Ever had one? Another adventure. Heard Jim say you ache all over. Well, my doc. said the same thing. So off to four days of wild prednisone and aching all over. Then blood check in a week or so to check things. I will have my head shaved this weekend by a friend. Wow, wigs on with all this sweet. Got some light head covers that look awful for home. I am not crying anymore but I have the bathroom issue. NO going at all. I am so full of medicine I feel like a dumping ground or crack house. Metal taste in my mouth and water tastes like it is full of chemicals. This is just round one. Five more to go. I hope they don't get worse. SO FAR NO NAUSEA THANK THE GOOD LORD AND ALL THE MEDICINE I WAS GIVEN FOR IT.I will try to start a new discussion. I am not the brightest bulb in the computer world. This moring it said my password had changed no it didn't took many attemps to get in. But since I was up I had to come here. Your all the best thing that has ever happened tome. Thanks God and Bless You all for being there. I am so grateful for you all. Hope this post gets around. Yep, steroids are wild. I have alwasys had to taper them when on them for asthma. Says it is dangerous not too. Well, no tapering here. Seems Danger is imminent on all this stuff and especially if my A Fib returns. I am so petrified about that as blood thinners have to be given or that deadly stroke. Can't take them when my blood count goes South. Dr. did say I can stay on them till the blood is bad. I sound like a novel for ill health and medical and hyochondiacs. If I could just not worry about it all daily. I did go to Walmoart with my husband for a few meds. today. Good to be out but I was shaky as heck. Sorry this is a book no one does it but me. So be patient I am working on this. I hope other treatments will go well with no more then the trouble I have with the weakness and the MISERABLE HEADACHES. WONDER WHAT THE 100 MG WILL DO TOMORROW? Good morning or nite as it may be. Seems to be endless day for me. LOVE and Hugs. CBP

cbpgill26

jimwins said:

Hi Carol
Hey Carol .

I see you found the post I mentioned in the email! Yay!
You survived radiation treatments and breast cancer so you
are not a whimp . But you are welcome to be a whimp here ☺.

Diffuse Large B Cell Lymphoma is very treatable and Stage 1 is the
"kindest" stage you can get. I see you read and responded to DWS49
very positive post - good job!

Once you get started with your treatments it will be better and be
less frightening. I was scared to death. They've come such a long way
today in managing treatment and side effects. Like you said, one day at
a time - also, one treatment at a time - just get through each one and before
you know it, you'll be done.

You are welcome here. We care about you and are here to
support you. Now we can't make your hair grow but hopefully we can make
you smile once in awhile.

Hug those baby dogs for me !

Jim

New Stage 2
Found out yesterday it is Stage 2A whatever does the A mean I hope earliest in beginning. I was shocked. Some day I will figure out how to post a picture. Then you will all probably leave me. Ha Ha. Your new picture looks wonderful and as a dog lover I love your baby Jim. Hugs.

jimwins

COBRA666 said:

Pics
Jim,
Clicked on and saw the new pic and wondered who that was !!! LOL What was the last one you had on here. I saw it so much I can't remember which one it was. LOL John

It's me.
Hi John,

I took that picture this morning. I hope I don't look
too serious. I've been meaning to update my picture for awhile.
I'd posted various pics of my sister for awhile and the very last
photo was of me from a few years ago before the cancer.

So, my hair has grown back somewhat and is darker than before.
The nice thing is I have less gray than I did before but I don't
recommend chemo as an "anti-graying" regimen .


Jim

jimwins

cbpgill26 said:

Chemo Day two after Day one Retuxin
Dear God it is after two AM and I am bouncing off the walls. Treatment was tiring and so many bags of stuff for this chops. I told the doc. I had vilolent headaches from Prednisone. He said he never heard of that. Well, I told him I hurt so bad I am in bed crying when I take the stuff at only 40mg a day. I see 100mg for five days. OMGosh. He gave me vicodin but I ate one and it could have been a jelly bean. I have slept an hour and up an hour. I am very shaky and having hot flashes. Living with a fan on my face and ice bags. Tomorrow I go for the lunesta shot. Ever had one? Another adventure. Heard Jim say you ache all over. Well, my doc. said the same thing. So off to four days of wild prednisone and aching all over. Then blood check in a week or so to check things. I will have my head shaved this weekend by a friend. Wow, wigs on with all this sweet. Got some light head covers that look awful for home. I am not crying anymore but I have the bathroom issue. NO going at all. I am so full of medicine I feel like a dumping ground or crack house. Metal taste in my mouth and water tastes like it is full of chemicals. This is just round one. Five more to go. I hope they don't get worse. SO FAR NO NAUSEA THANK THE GOOD LORD AND ALL THE MEDICINE I WAS GIVEN FOR IT.I will try to start a new discussion. I am not the brightest bulb in the computer world. This moring it said my password had changed no it didn't took many attemps to get in. But since I was up I had to come here. Your all the best thing that has ever happened tome. Thanks God and Bless You all for being there. I am so grateful for you all. Hope this post gets around. Yep, steroids are wild. I have alwasys had to taper them when on them for asthma. Says it is dangerous not too. Well, no tapering here. Seems Danger is imminent on all this stuff and especially if my A Fib returns. I am so petrified about that as blood thinners have to be given or that deadly stroke. Can't take them when my blood count goes South. Dr. did say I can stay on them till the blood is bad. I sound like a novel for ill health and medical and hyochondiacs. If I could just not worry about it all daily. I did go to Walmoart with my husband for a few meds. today. Good to be out but I was shaky as heck. Sorry this is a book no one does it but me. So be patient I am working on this. I hope other treatments will go well with no more then the trouble I have with the weakness and the MISERABLE HEADACHES. WONDER WHAT THE 100 MG WILL DO TOMORROW? Good morning or nite as it may be. Seems to be endless day for me. LOVE and Hugs. CBP

You're doing great, Carol!
Hi Carol,

I posted some info about my experience with prednisone on
another post you made.

I see you do have a sense of humor in these statements you made:

"OMGosh. He gave me vicodin but I ate one and it could have been a jelly bean."
"I am so full of medicine I feel like a dumping ground or crack house."
"I sound like a novel for ill health and medical and hyochondiacs."

They made me smile and realize you are funny and strong .

Use your sense of humor when you can and feel up to it, honestly it will help.
I know cause I got pretty crazy myself during all of this and just to
simply laugh took out a lot of the sting.

Shaving your head is a good idea so try to make that fun in someway. Wigs
are not always comfortable so find other things you can wear. Silly hats
are always fun. I wore knit caps alot just to keep me warm. I looked like
"Casper" for a long time without hair, eyelashes and practically no eyebrows.

And of course there was "no hair" in "other" places and that certainly took
me back to pre-puberty . It certainly was "breezy" in the nether regions .
Nice thing was I didn't have to worry about hair cuts or shaving for several months
and I certainly saved money on shaving and hair products.

Give yourself a big hug Carol - I think you're doing great!

Jim

allmost60

cbpgill26 said:

Chemo Day two after Day one Retuxin
Dear God it is after two AM and I am bouncing off the walls. Treatment was tiring and so many bags of stuff for this chops. I told the doc. I had vilolent headaches from Prednisone. He said he never heard of that. Well, I told him I hurt so bad I am in bed crying when I take the stuff at only 40mg a day. I see 100mg for five days. OMGosh. He gave me vicodin but I ate one and it could have been a jelly bean. I have slept an hour and up an hour. I am very shaky and having hot flashes. Living with a fan on my face and ice bags. Tomorrow I go for the lunesta shot. Ever had one? Another adventure. Heard Jim say you ache all over. Well, my doc. said the same thing. So off to four days of wild prednisone and aching all over. Then blood check in a week or so to check things. I will have my head shaved this weekend by a friend. Wow, wigs on with all this sweet. Got some light head covers that look awful for home. I am not crying anymore but I have the bathroom issue. NO going at all. I am so full of medicine I feel like a dumping ground or crack house. Metal taste in my mouth and water tastes like it is full of chemicals. This is just round one. Five more to go. I hope they don't get worse. SO FAR NO NAUSEA THANK THE GOOD LORD AND ALL THE MEDICINE I WAS GIVEN FOR IT.I will try to start a new discussion. I am not the brightest bulb in the computer world. This moring it said my password had changed no it didn't took many attemps to get in. But since I was up I had to come here. Your all the best thing that has ever happened tome. Thanks God and Bless You all for being there. I am so grateful for you all. Hope this post gets around. Yep, steroids are wild. I have alwasys had to taper them when on them for asthma. Says it is dangerous not too. Well, no tapering here. Seems Danger is imminent on all this stuff and especially if my A Fib returns. I am so petrified about that as blood thinners have to be given or that deadly stroke. Can't take them when my blood count goes South. Dr. did say I can stay on them till the blood is bad. I sound like a novel for ill health and medical and hyochondiacs. If I could just not worry about it all daily. I did go to Walmoart with my husband for a few meds. today. Good to be out but I was shaky as heck. Sorry this is a book no one does it but me. So be patient I am working on this. I hope other treatments will go well with no more then the trouble I have with the weakness and the MISERABLE HEADACHES. WONDER WHAT THE 100 MG WILL DO TOMORROW? Good morning or nite as it may be. Seems to be endless day for me. LOVE and Hugs. CBP

L-O-N-G nights!!
Hi Carol,
I was in bed when you posted this, but now wish I'd been awake so I could have responded. I spent many long nights awake and did exactly what you did with writing to the group. It sure helped to pass the time, and sometimes I'd catch another "night owl" awake, like Lisha(another lady in our group), and she would calm me down. I only had to take 60mg a day of the prednisone, but many others in the group were on the 100mg. I didn't get the horrible headache, but definetely had massive hot flashes and shaky feeling. I also had flushing in my face causing me to look red faced the whole 5 days while taking it. My face also looked bloated and fat...it's called "moon face". One good thing about the prednisone...you only have to take it for 5 days and then get a rest until your next round...at least thats how it went for me. Hang in there...my prayers and good thoughts are with you!
Much love...Sue (FNHL-2-3A-6/10)