BCS - Bra Inserts

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Steve2
Steve2 Member Posts: 2
in Breast Cancer #1
Ladies,
I need some help here please. My wife died two years ago from cancer and now I've found the second most wonderful woman in the world. Curiously, she had brest cancer and a double (radical) mastectomy and I (really) don't care if she has recornstruction or not, that has nothing to do with being in love with someone and loving someone. What I'm asking for is some guidence on what type of bra inserts to get her so that she can feel the best she can about herself in whatever she wears: silicone, foam, weighted, non-weighted - What? Ya'll know and I don't. I don't think the (previous) shape has anything to do with it, just something that is very flattering to her. I saw a vented foam one back some time ago (very cool on your skin) that was weighted but I've never been able to find it again.

Your advise would be greatly appreciated.. I want her to feel as womanly as possible - confident, secure, happy, sexy..

Thank you (all),
Steve2

Comments

  • Rague
    Rague Member Posts: 3,653 Member
    #2
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    If she doesn't already have
    If she doesn't already have prosthesis she may not want any. If she has some and doesn't wear them then they may be misfitted. Talk to her about how she feels/what she wants.

    If she's interested - Find a certified fitter and make an appt. for her to go. (If she's comfortable with it - go with her and give your input . It'll be in a private room with her, you and the fitter - at least where I go.) She needs to be fitted - not just looking in a catalog and saying 'that looks good'. Where I live, there is only one certified fitter within over 300 miles but most areas have more.

    Everybody is different. Personally I wear my pros all the time except when sleeping. That's how I'm comfortable (actually never think about it) but not all do.

    Talk to her and see what she thinks/wants - that's what matters. Why do you think she'll nor "confident, secure, happy, sexy? In the 2+ years since surgery I have never questioned my 'feminity' - really don't think Hubby (of 36 yrs) has either. I am ME.

    Talkb to your Lady and listen. Then if it's right for her find the best place to go.
  • cinnamonsmile
    cinnamonsmile Member Posts: 1,187 Member
    #3
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    Do you know for sure that
    Do you know for sure that she wants them? Has she brought it up at all? Do you know for a fact she wants them to feel sexy? Not every woman needs them to feel sexy and womanly.

    Some women have complications after a mastectomy like pain (I don't know much about lymphedema so I don't know if that can make wearing a bra hard) or other treatments that may make wearing prosthetics and bras difficult.

    I tried a bra with prosthetics at the mastectomy boutique with a certified fitter and then once at home. I have not worn them since. I love not having to wear a bra and could not because of the complications of my bilateral mastectomy and node dissection. I can not see ever wanting to wear a bra again.

    I applaud you for wanting to help the new woman in your life. But women are not a one type fits all. Every woman has different tastes, things that fit differently. One type of prosthetic and bra may get rave reviews from one woman and make another horrible uncomfortable. I agree that IF she wants them, she needs to pick them out herself at a certified fitting boutique. Surprising her with them could go horribly wrong if that was what you had planned...
  • Steve2
    Steve2 Member Posts: 2
    #4
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    Rague said:

    If she doesn't already have
    If she doesn't already have prosthesis she may not want any. If she has some and doesn't wear them then they may be misfitted. Talk to her about how she feels/what she wants.

    If she's interested - Find a certified fitter and make an appt. for her to go. (If she's comfortable with it - go with her and give your input . It'll be in a private room with her, you and the fitter - at least where I go.) She needs to be fitted - not just looking in a catalog and saying 'that looks good'. Where I live, there is only one certified fitter within over 300 miles but most areas have more.

    Everybody is different. Personally I wear my pros all the time except when sleeping. That's how I'm comfortable (actually never think about it) but not all do.

    Talk to her and see what she thinks/wants - that's what matters. Why do you think she'll nor "confident, secure, happy, sexy? In the 2+ years since surgery I have never questioned my 'feminity' - really don't think Hubby (of 36 yrs) has either. I am ME.

    Talkb to your Lady and listen. Then if it's right for her find the best place to go.

    Bra Inserts
    Good afternoon Rague!
    Thank you for your input. She doesn't have pros but she's talked about it several times. She showed me the web sites she's looked at som I know it's an option and that she some interest. That's where some of this comes from and why I'm asking. She's also talked about reconstruction several times: deep flap, etc. She wears her bra everyday but just with nothing in it so when someone hugs her too hard she always has to check to see if one of the cups collapsed. And it has happened more than one once. I was just trying to get myself educated so when we do talk I won't be lost. I might not should have used the term sexy because she absolutely is! It's just when she talks about what she use to wear the way she looked, etc., that catches my ear and makes me want to do all that I can for her... but it is all up to her. I just want to be the best I can for her.

    Thank you for your advice! Live well, live long!
    Steve2

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