Am I crazy to feel this way?

jamiegww Member Posts: 384
I cried off and on Thursday when the county scraped up the chipseal they had put down 4 or 5 years ago and left us once again with a gravel road to drive on. I think, in my mind, this personifies a cancer that I thought was gone and has now returned. Never thought I would compare myself to a road, but the road didn't appear to need anything so drastic just as I didn't appear to need anything so drastic before my cancer diagnosis in 2009. I feel like the road has just been through surgery/chemo/and radiation and it looks and feels terrible. It reminds me of how much better I looked and felt before treatment. No, as far as I know, my cancer has not returned but why am I so depressed over a stupid road? Does this make sense to anyone or am I just crazy?


  • Aahmie
    Aahmie Member Posts: 23
    No! You're not crazy!
    I am just newly diagnosed but I understand the odd things that set you off. Sometimes, I catch myself crying over things that really have nothing to do with breast cancer. And then yesterday, my phone wouldn't work the way I needed it to and it nearly went out the window!
    I'm guessing that the emotions last long after the treatment has been completed.
  • mom62
    mom62 Member Posts: 604 Member
    It does
    make sense. We all make comparisons in life. You see the road as a symbol of what you yourself have gone through, there is nothing wrong with that. It is perfectly normal. I do things like that all the time.


  • aisling8
    aisling8 Member Posts: 1,627 Member
    not crazy!

    You're a person who has thoughts and feelings and that's not crazy:)

    Big hug to you,

  • madsters1
    madsters1 Member Posts: 120
    am I crazy/
    No, my friend this is not at all insanity. Quite the contrary in fact. It's the long lasting, deep effects of a tragedy. It's another cry of mourning for what you have suffered and lost.
    It sometimes seems that we're expected to "chin up" through treatment, telling everyone (mostly for their sake) that we're doing fine, hanging in there. Then when the "harsh" treatment (ie; chemo & radiation)is over, we're seen as all better and expected to "pack it up", emotions and all and just move on. Now to be stamped with the title "Survivor".
    Cancer however, I've discovered, changes us forever. We have lost something. Gratefully not our lives, but we have been invaded and marred, some much more than others. Therefore, we mourn at times, but only at times. And that's VERY much okay. Most of the rest of the time, we live, we laugh, we love and we consider ourselves blessed beyond measure.
    Thank you for being so real to share the hard moments. We all definately have them.
  • eihtak
    eihtak Member Posts: 1,473 Member
    Not Crazy///
    You are not crazy at all. I have always compared things in life like that, and after a traumatic event like dealing with cancer, I think we gain a new and deeper way of looking at all things. Embrace your new found emotional skills, it will serve you well later in life. Emotions, both joyous or sad are a wonderful thing. Unfortunately the world has produced too many cold hearted un-feeling people, you are not one of them!!!! Cancer has probabaly left some scars, and that old road will be scared for a while but every bit as useable, than once again it will be recovered and have a new strength, but buried under the future new blactop will be memories of those who have trusted its strength all along. (or maybe I'm crazy As always,all in my prayers
  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    we all have misc
    we all have misc right or wrong way to deal with illness...

    Totally understand...

  • Jobi
    Jobi Member Posts: 211
    This makes perfect sense!
    You are not crazy. This crazy cancer does a number not only on our bodies, but our minds and feelings as well. It is okay! This too shall pass, and you will begin to feel amazing again.