Update on "Helpless"

Babyg1rl

Hello All,

My mom is finally out of the hospital after a repeat visitfor difficulty in breathing with fluid in her lungs and abd. Well one internal medicine doc had asked me if I had thought about hospice. Naturally I had broke down, I'm not ready to give up on my mom. Another had also asked my mom when she had to go back to the hospital. But the oncologist had talked to us and said that he was and is willing to fight my mom as long as we are. Plus he said that he didn't suggest hospice to us and that she still has a fighting chance. Her only setback right now is weakness after her initial surgery. She's in inpatient rehab to build up her strength 1st. She has therapy 5-6 days a week vs 3 days if she was at home. We were told once my mom is able to stand and get herself out of bed own her own (the basics) she can start chemo.

Just a question, is that common practice for a patient to wait to start chemo when they are strong enough? I know that the sooner the better, but I was told that she's not strong enough right now, because it will kill her. She is only eating 40-50% of meals. Her surgery was on 2-21-12 and she was in the ICU on a vent for almost 4 weeks. So she has came a long way. It's hard to know that my mom walked into the hospital on her own and now is totally dependant on people.

I do have this overall feeling and belief that she is going to survive. Patience is not my strongest assesst at this point in time. Each day she's getting better and doesn't have any pain.

Thanks for listening,
Sincerely Babyg1rl

Gottalovelife

Gotta Believe
Don't listen to the internal medicine doc, the oncologist knows best. I had surgery June 8th and started chemo July 6th, however the oncologist I wanted wasn't available till the middle of August and we were gonna wait that long, but another Dr. became available, so it would have been over 2 months before I would have started my chemo. But I was strong about 2 weeks after surgery and was able to eat good, so they really do need your Mom to be strong before chemo because chemo zaps your energy. Your Mom can get thru this everything takes time unfortunately. It's great that she is getting better everyday, that's a day closer to being able to start chemo. She has you fighting for her and that gives her strength too and it's wonderful that she has you and your right, she will survive this.

Hugs and Prayers
Cindy

Mwee

I'd listen to her ONC
and I agree they have way more expertice in this area. It will take her sometime to recoup after all she's been through and before her body will be strong enough to handle the chemo. She must be a terrific Mom to have such a loving daughter. Celebrate the small successes that she's improving each day.... chemo can wait.
(((HUGS to you both)))) Maria

whiterose

Weak
I was very weak after my surgery and needed a walker to get around. It was a very humbling experience. When I went to my first appointment with the medical oncologist to discuss chemo, my husband had to do all the talking because I could barely speak, I was so weak. The biggest thing that helped me was eating. Once I started eating, I started to feel stronger. I also walked as much as I could (admittedly, that wasn't much) and it helped also. My hubby had to practically hold me up as we walked around. Now I power walk every day and work out in the gym. I eat much better (I forced myself to eat and the more you eat, the more you WANT to eat). My dr. can't believe the change and shows me off to people in the office LOL. So, yes, you can get better and stronger, you just have to want to. Keep after your mom, my hubby kept pestering me to eat and walk, sometimes I was mad at him, but it made all the difference!

AnneBehymer

back to the hospital
I was only out of the hospital for four days when I was having trouble breathing and had my mom take me to the ER. Found out that my lungs had filled back up so back into the hospital with me. I was upset but my doctor said this was not a set back it happens. With your mom being the age she is and how she is doing yes it is best that she is stronger before they start chemo. I had to start before I even healed from the surgery and it was so hard on me I was 45 and wished we could have waited a little longer. Sounds like your mom is in good hands and has a lot of support she will do fine. We are here for you when you need it.

Love, Hugs, and Prayers
Anne

kikz

It is so hard to
go through this treatment for everyone concerned. We want to hurry it up so we can get well but the treatment is so hard on the body. I think your mom is about the age I was when I was diagnosed. I am now 64. I had chemo before surgery and it was stopped about five weeks prior to surgery so I could recuperate and be strong enough. After surgery I believe it was five or six weeks before the chemo resumed. Luckily as my surgeon said I went through surgery with "flying colors." But after a couple of chemos I was in bad shape. The post-surgery chemo went slowly because I had to have a break from it a couple of times. I don't mean to bring you down, I am just trying to say that the body reacts in its own way and in your mom's case she had a harder time with the surgery. The body also has a miraculous way of overcoming the harsh effects of treatment.

I am sure your mom will get stronger each day and be ready for chemo soon.

You are right for not giving up on your mom. This is a fight and we all deserve a chance to keep fighting. You and your mom are in my thoughts and prayers.

Karen

carolenk

kikz said:

It is so hard to
go through this treatment for everyone concerned. We want to hurry it up so we can get well but the treatment is so hard on the body. I think your mom is about the age I was when I was diagnosed. I am now 64. I had chemo before surgery and it was stopped about five weeks prior to surgery so I could recuperate and be strong enough. After surgery I believe it was five or six weeks before the chemo resumed. Luckily as my surgeon said I went through surgery with "flying colors." But after a couple of chemos I was in bad shape. The post-surgery chemo went slowly because I had to have a break from it a couple of times. I don't mean to bring you down, I am just trying to say that the body reacts in its own way and in your mom's case she had a harder time with the surgery. The body also has a miraculous way of overcoming the harsh effects of treatment.

I am sure your mom will get stronger each day and be ready for chemo soon.

You are right for not giving up on your mom. This is a fight and we all deserve a chance to keep fighting. You and your mom are in my thoughts and prayers.

Karen

Just to give you some
Just to give you some perspective, it takes about one week of rehab for every DAY someone is in the ICU.

Keep encouraging your mom to eat small frequent meals--preferably cooked foods. Since she was probably fasting for an extended amount of time, there's a good chance that she depleted the stored sugar in her liver. This happened to me post-op. I went thru terrible spells of low blood sugar until I ate enough complex carbs (potatoes, pasta, etc.) to restore my glycogen reserves in my liver.

Best wishes to all of you.

lovesanimals

carolenk said:

Just to give you some
Just to give you some perspective, it takes about one week of rehab for every DAY someone is in the ICU.

Keep encouraging your mom to eat small frequent meals--preferably cooked foods. Since she was probably fasting for an extended amount of time, there's a good chance that she depleted the stored sugar in her liver. This happened to me post-op. I went thru terrible spells of low blood sugar until I ate enough complex carbs (potatoes, pasta, etc.) to restore my glycogen reserves in my liver.

Best wishes to all of you.

Dear Babyg1rl
So glad your mom is getting better each day and has no pain. I'm praying for you both.

Kelly

azgrandma

lovesanimals said:

Dear Babyg1rl
So glad your mom is getting better each day and has no pain. I'm praying for you both.

Kelly

why don't you try this
when i was so weak and had trouble eating i was told to eat every 2 hours, small meals not large ones and it helped me gain my strength.