What do I do now

WorriedinPA Member Posts: 10
My mom has Stage 4 lung cancer that has spread to her brain, lymph nodes, lower & now upper spine. She was diagnosed March 17th 2011 & has been fighting ever since that day. She went through whole brain radiation (which worked praise the lord), several rounds of IV chemo which she could not tolerate, a round of radiation on her lower spin (which worked), most recently they have put her on oral chemo Tarceva & she just completed a round of radiation on her upper spine (which I don't think worked). She fell a few months ago and since then has had horrid pains in her upper spine area -- they found a "funny" spot on her MRI and decided to radiate it due to her history (lower spine spot) however they were afraid to do this because of the closeness to her previously radiated areas -- but they did it anyway & since starting this radiation her pain has increased from horrid to excruciating --- her doc says it will get better in time since she's now done with radiation & I have noticed a decrease but she's now unable to ambulate like she could previously & requires 24/7 aid -- Which my dad, sister & I are trying to provide. She can no longer hold her urine & is peeing herself several times a day - She can walk with assistance of a walker but someone has to be there with her because her legs will just give out without any warning. She is of sound mind still & I know this is killing her more than the cancer is. My sister and I both have 3 year old son's. We both work full time as well as my father ... we have been having issues with being sure someone is with her 24/7 and I consulted with her oncologist who prescribed visiting nurses but they only come in for check ups .. we need someone there with her when we can't be. But we have no money to do this so unless it's covered under her insurance then we can't have this. So, with that being said would it be time for a nursing home? I tears me up inside to even say that because I don't want to admit my mother to an NH when she's of sound mind -- but what our our options for her. I know that the 3 of us cannot provide her ATC care which is what she needs ... HELP !!!!


  • Noellesmom
    Noellesmom Member Posts: 1,859 Member
    look for organizations
    in your area which exist solely to come in and provide respite for family members in just such situations. They may be affiliated with churches or other groups. Call the local Cancer Society, also. They may have help.
    Also, the family medical leave act could help in this case?
    If your mom was on your dad's insurance (or had insurance where she worked) find out if there is any coverage for this kind of help.

    I know it is hard.