Helpless

Babyg1rl

Hello,
Two years ago my dad passed away from a heart attack which was 2 days before my mom's 60th birthday. It was also the same day as my mother inlaws birthday. Well 9 months later my mother inlaw passed away from a heart attack as well. Now on 2-21-12 we found out that my mom has uterine and ovarian cancer that has spread to the pelvic area. I feel so helpless for starters I'm a RN and I never even seen this comming. My dad went quickly, my mother inlaw lasted for about 10 days and my mom has been in the hospital over a month fighting for her life. She had complications after her surgery, and was placed on a vent. She has made an 180, but we still have a ways to go. Now we have to do physical therapy and build her up before we can even talk about starting chemo therapy. As a nurse I already knew what stage she was in and the text book survival rates. But as long as the doctors don't verbalize it to me I am coping. I am really struggeling watching my mom being so sick, in pain and nauseated and its nothing that I can do but pray. I pray that God wont take away my mom. To have three major losses in a row is unbearable. I'm really trying to do my best to stay strong, but its hard. I know that God gives us what we need; which isn't always what we may want. But I need and want my mom to live and not to suffer in the process.

Thakns for listening well reading!

Sincerely
Babyg1rl

AnneBehymer

You are so not alone
You have suffered a lot of loss for anyone to bare and to lose another person one you hold so dear to your heart is to much. You are feeling what others daughter have said, felt, and thought and this is just the right site to be on. These ladies have so much wisdom and support to give there is no answer you can not ask we have all felt the way you are feeling and have been down the road you are heading some have been on this journey for a long time some have just started but the one thing is we are all here to help each other. When you said you thought as long as the doctors don't say out loud then you can handle it I was so there with you I found out june of last year that I had ovarian cancer. My mom kept trying to get me to ask my ONC what stage it was but I did not want to know, I felt if I could just believe for this short time that it was stage one I could fight with all my might. After I went into remission then I was able to ask and I found out what I thought was true I was stage four. There was a lot to fear because I had never had cancer and I did not know what I was walking into, These ladies made that walk a lot easier I could come to them with any questions and trust me there were some question that were hard to ask that I would not ask my mail doctor because I just could not bring myself to ask him. These ladies have shown me so much love and grace that I could never repay them. Everyone say welcome to the club no one wants to be a part of and I say the same but I am glad the club is here so I don't feel all alone. I am now facing my first time out of remission and if I am I know I will be scared to death but they will be here to help me through it. So please come back as often as you need and we will do the best to help and to answer you questions and if can't can aswer it we will always lift you up in our prayers.

Love, Hugs, and Prayers
Anne

Mum2bellaandwilliam

AnneBehymer said:

You are so not alone
You have suffered a lot of loss for anyone to bare and to lose another person one you hold so dear to your heart is to much. You are feeling what others daughter have said, felt, and thought and this is just the right site to be on. These ladies have so much wisdom and support to give there is no answer you can not ask we have all felt the way you are feeling and have been down the road you are heading some have been on this journey for a long time some have just started but the one thing is we are all here to help each other. When you said you thought as long as the doctors don't say out loud then you can handle it I was so there with you I found out june of last year that I had ovarian cancer. My mom kept trying to get me to ask my ONC what stage it was but I did not want to know, I felt if I could just believe for this short time that it was stage one I could fight with all my might. After I went into remission then I was able to ask and I found out what I thought was true I was stage four. There was a lot to fear because I had never had cancer and I did not know what I was walking into, These ladies made that walk a lot easier I could come to them with any questions and trust me there were some question that were hard to ask that I would not ask my mail doctor because I just could not bring myself to ask him. These ladies have shown me so much love and grace that I could never repay them. Everyone say welcome to the club no one wants to be a part of and I say the same but I am glad the club is here so I don't feel all alone. I am now facing my first time out of remission and if I am I know I will be scared to death but they will be here to help me through it. So please come back as often as you need and we will do the best to help and to answer you questions and if can't can aswer it we will always lift you up in our prayers.

Love, Hugs, and Prayers
Anne

Hi babyg1rl,
Sorry you are
Hi babyg1rl,

Sorry you are here.
Your story is similar to mine , I lost dad suddenly in 1997 he had a heart attack , I was 17.
Then mum was diagnosed with PPC in may 2010, we lost her just before Xmas to pneumonia. I also think it unfair to lose both parents so young, all my grandparents have also gone.
God sure has dealt us a rough hand!!!!
Try to keep strong , it's so scary when you first start to travel on this journey , I remember feeling lost , helpless , desperate, but it did get easier , I began to accept the reality of what was happening, and stayed strong and did as much research as I could so I could advocate for mum, it helped me a great deal to try and find out everything I could !!!! That's just me though , my sister didn't have the need to do that , funny how we all cope in different ways.
Please keep us all posted on your mum, and give her a big ((hug)) from me.
XxxLizxxX

whiterose

Sorry
You've had to deal with a lot, and most of it all at once. You've found a good place, there's lots of wisdom and compassion here, and people to help you every step of the way. Try not to be overwhelmed, it's tough at the beginning, when you think of everything that's ahead, it can make one want to give up! I know I almost did, my husband has been my strength throughout this, teaching me to just take one step at a time. Just be there for your mom, it helps enormously.....

carolenk

whiterose said:

Sorry
You've had to deal with a lot, and most of it all at once. You've found a good place, there's lots of wisdom and compassion here, and people to help you every step of the way. Try not to be overwhelmed, it's tough at the beginning, when you think of everything that's ahead, it can make one want to give up! I know I almost did, my husband has been my strength throughout this, teaching me to just take one step at a time. Just be there for your mom, it helps enormously.....

Your mother's prognosis
No one can predict how your mother will do. A lot of us were really sick after surgery. I couldn't believe how quickly I responded to chemo. It has taken a lot longer for me to recover than I thought as I never thought I would be as miserable as I was after surgery.

I have a sister who is a nurse & she got herself SO DEPRESSED from reading stuff off the Internet. I think she was convinced that I was gonna die. There is a lot of outdated info online & be careful of getting information overload.

The truth is that women with ovarian cancer are living longer than ever before. Because ovarian cancer is not as common as breast cancer, a lot less money is available for research. So that's a major problem. Anyway, take it one day at a time and look for something to be positive about--even if it is something small. Make sure your mom has good pain management--you have to be her advocate until she is stronger.

Best wishes to both of you.

kikz

whiterose said:

Sorry
You've had to deal with a lot, and most of it all at once. You've found a good place, there's lots of wisdom and compassion here, and people to help you every step of the way. Try not to be overwhelmed, it's tough at the beginning, when you think of everything that's ahead, it can make one want to give up! I know I almost did, my husband has been my strength throughout this, teaching me to just take one step at a time. Just be there for your mom, it helps enormously.....

I am so sorry
for you and your family have had to deal with. I wish the very best for your mom and want to echo the sentiments expressed by others that you found a place where you can find comfort and information. I love the women here and appreciate their words which have helped me get through tough times as well as celebrate the good times. And there are good times.

Karen

lovesanimals

kikz said:

I am so sorry
for you and your family have had to deal with. I wish the very best for your mom and want to echo the sentiments expressed by others that you found a place where you can find comfort and information. I love the women here and appreciate their words which have helped me get through tough times as well as celebrate the good times. And there are good times.

Karen

Dear Babyg1rl
I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved dad and mother-in-law and for the battle that your mom is facing. Please don't blame yourself, as an RN, for not "seeing this coming". The symptoms are so subtle that many of us didn't know we were experiencing cancer symptoms. Any time you feel like crying, venting, sharing, or getting information, this is the place to come to. I have found that the women on this board are wonderfully supportive and are good listeners too. Please keep us posted on your mom's progress.

Kelly