heard bad news today been very upset

antcat
antcat Member Posts: 270
Saw my pcp today and told him how I've been feeling all weekend, ankles swollen, and can actually feel tumor middle of my chest. Asked him if it was ascites, he said no. He was quite sad when he told me the cancer has worsened since I've been on the Hexalen pill (January). He said that what I'm feeling in my chest is most likely an infiltration of lymph nodes and will see oncologist tomorrow. Will try one more thing with carboplatin overnight in the hospital (unless the oncologist says it's not worth it). I told my pcp that I have tried and he said I know you've been a fighter but I told him if the carbo doesn't work, then I'm calling it quits. He can me a stronger pain pill - Vicodin 10 mg. codeine and said that if that didn't work next week, he will give me a Fentayl patch which stays on for 3 days. But he said he didn't think I'm ready for that yet.

He suggested that in order to get rid of the edema in my legs, I wear TEDS stockings which I'm going to get tomorrow. As far as the distention in my abdomen, that won't go away until chemo shrinks some of the tumor. I wish I could be as strong as some of you, but I just can't anymore, I have a very low tolerance level for pain and I, myself, know I've gotten worse. But you never know there could be a miracle.

Take care.

Comments

  • mopar
    mopar Member Posts: 1,972 Member
    MIRACLES DO HAPPEN, ANTCAT
    I'm so sorry you feel so defeated right now. Even the strongest individuals sometimes feel weak and unable to continue. We all have our moments. Wait to see what your oncologist says. He will probably have a few more tricks up his/her sleeve.

    The stockings do help, and they make your legs feel better, too. And the pain pill should give you some relief. Sometimes, just being pain free can give us a whole new outlook and fighting spirit. I do believe in miracles, Antact. And I'm praying for you as I send this along, and will continue tonight and beyond.

    Will wait to hear from you. Till then. . .

    (((HUGS))) and Prayers.
    Monika
  • Tethys41
    Tethys41 Member Posts: 1,382 Member
    I'm so sorry
    This is scarey news. I wonder why your doctor says you are not ready for Fentanyl. I was on Fentanyl, codeine and Tylenol III for the entire time I was undergoing treatment. I agree that it is important to keep your pain managed. If you don't feel the pain, you will have more will to fight. Yes, the TEDS should help immensely. Hope the new treatment does the trick.
  • lovesanimals
    lovesanimals Member Posts: 1,366 Member
    Tethys41 said:

    I'm so sorry
    This is scarey news. I wonder why your doctor says you are not ready for Fentanyl. I was on Fentanyl, codeine and Tylenol III for the entire time I was undergoing treatment. I agree that it is important to keep your pain managed. If you don't feel the pain, you will have more will to fight. Yes, the TEDS should help immensely. Hope the new treatment does the trick.

    Dear Antcat
    I am so saddened by your news. I too believe that miracles are possible and I will be praying for you.

    Peace and love,
    Kelly
  • kikz
    kikz Member Posts: 1,345 Member
    I am sorry
    for what you are going through. Please do not feel you are not strong. I firmly believe that women dealing with this illness show more strength and grace than I have ever seen. My good thoughts and prayers go out to you.

    Karen
  • kellyh33
    kellyh33 Member Posts: 287
    Strength
    I am so terribly sorry you are going through this. I can't imagine how scary it can be. Please never say you aren't strong enough. You ladies are the bravest people I have ever met. I wonder how well I would hold up if faced with the same circumstances you and my mom faced.
    You are a champion to so many people. I pray you get your miracle.
    Kelly
  • azgrandma
    azgrandma Member Posts: 609 Member
    kellyh33 said:

    Strength
    I am so terribly sorry you are going through this. I can't imagine how scary it can be. Please never say you aren't strong enough. You ladies are the bravest people I have ever met. I wonder how well I would hold up if faced with the same circumstances you and my mom faced.
    You are a champion to so many people. I pray you get your miracle.
    Kelly

    So sorry to hear this
    I am so sorry to hear this news. Hon don't give up, there might still be a miracle for
    you. I hate this diesase
    I am praying
  • eward
    eward Member Posts: 210
    mom
    My mom is going through some of the same issues as you. (I am the one who asked you about alimta.) Her leg fluid started last spring. As a matter of fact, my mom thought she was dying last spring. Then they put her on gemzar and cisplatin and she did much better for a few months. She is currently having a very rough time, but my point is that sometimes you think "this is it" and then the docs find a drug to help you and there are better days. I wish you a renewal of hope. There are so many medicines out there. Something is bound to give you relief.
  • eward
    eward Member Posts: 210
    eward said:

    mom
    My mom is going through some of the same issues as you. (I am the one who asked you about alimta.) Her leg fluid started last spring. As a matter of fact, my mom thought she was dying last spring. Then they put her on gemzar and cisplatin and she did much better for a few months. She is currently having a very rough time, but my point is that sometimes you think "this is it" and then the docs find a drug to help you and there are better days. I wish you a renewal of hope. There are so many medicines out there. Something is bound to give you relief.

    also
    My mom also has seen two gyno oncs over time. One of them suggested that one of her options last summer was to stop treatment. Her other doc said he wasn't running out of ideas for my mom. I am so glad she listened to the second doc and continued treatment! Sure she could have stopped treatment, but she didn't and she has had lots of ups and downs but she is here and it is almost a year after that one doc gave her the option to quit.

    My mom uses the stockings with varying results. She met with a lymphedema specialist to get some advice on what to do about that.

    I wish you the best!
  • karen1951
    karen1951 Member Posts: 103
    eward said:

    also
    My mom also has seen two gyno oncs over time. One of them suggested that one of her options last summer was to stop treatment. Her other doc said he wasn't running out of ideas for my mom. I am so glad she listened to the second doc and continued treatment! Sure she could have stopped treatment, but she didn't and she has had lots of ups and downs but she is here and it is almost a year after that one doc gave her the option to quit.

    My mom uses the stockings with varying results. She met with a lymphedema specialist to get some advice on what to do about that.

    I wish you the best!

    i'm praying for you
    i'm praying for you antcat....try to stay strong....karen
  • whiterose
    whiterose Member Posts: 89
    Sorry
    I'm sorry about your news. I'm allergic to carbo also, I'm hoping that at some point if I need this drug again, I can go through the desensitization process too. I've read that many have good results with it. My chemo nurse told me that there are many good drugs for ov/ca patients, more than for a lot of other cancers. Hold on to good thoughts that the carbo desensitization is going to work! I pray that it will.....
  • poopergirl14052
    poopergirl14052 Member Posts: 1,183 Member
    whiterose said:

    Sorry
    I'm sorry about your news. I'm allergic to carbo also, I'm hoping that at some point if I need this drug again, I can go through the desensitization process too. I've read that many have good results with it. My chemo nurse told me that there are many good drugs for ov/ca patients, more than for a lot of other cancers. Hold on to good thoughts that the carbo desensitization is going to work! I pray that it will.....

    I wish
    I could take away everyone's pain,,,val
  • Radioactive34
    Radioactive34 Member Posts: 391 Member

    I wish
    I could take away everyone's pain,,,val

    I second Val's
    I second Val's comment...hugs and prayers...
  • vj1
    vj1 Member Posts: 150

    I second Val's
    I second Val's comment...hugs and prayers...

    Prayers
    Prayers coming your way--stay strong

    Verna
  • A1pena
    A1pena Member Posts: 92
    My mom is going through a
    My mom is going through a simlar situation, except she does have some ascites. Her abdomen is completely distended, hard time eating, fatigue, trouble urniating, the whole 9. I am hoping and praying that the latest treatment he has her on will shrink the tumors enough to provide relief and give more time. The longer you live, the more options for treatment become available. It is soooo hard to stay positive, I just had a good cry fest myself- but now its time to fight. Best of luck on this difficult journey.

    Amanda
  • clamryn
    clamryn Member Posts: 508
    Antcat
    Antcat this hurt me so much to read this. I haven't been on the boards much this week and when I saw this, I just cried. I am praying for you and hoping you get some relief and your miracle happens.

    Love you
    Linda
  • Kimmyanne
    Kimmyanne Member Posts: 21
    after my 2nd surgery i
    after my 2nd surgery i became distented and ws in soo much pain and nauseated. I had to get a ng tube for the most part it helped but after 2 weeks they sent me home...where I felt nauseated every day since. Now im on chemo and it's just not going away...You are strong and are not alone
  • undertreatment2012
    undertreatment2012 Member Posts: 126
    bad news
    My heart aches for you. I am so sorry about the bad news. I have not gotten that bad of news.... yet. But, I too have a low tolerance to pain and being in a weakened state due to the cancer does not leave a lot of fight. It's very hard. When I decide it's time to quit, I don't want any guilt piled on by friends or family. I will pray for you that a miracle could still happen, and that you find peace within. I just want to hold you and cry with you.
  • azgrandma
    azgrandma Member Posts: 609 Member

    bad news
    My heart aches for you. I am so sorry about the bad news. I have not gotten that bad of news.... yet. But, I too have a low tolerance to pain and being in a weakened state due to the cancer does not leave a lot of fight. It's very hard. When I decide it's time to quit, I don't want any guilt piled on by friends or family. I will pray for you that a miracle could still happen, and that you find peace within. I just want to hold you and cry with you.

    I am so sorry
    I am so sorry to hear this news hon God bless you