Not A Good Day

It's a nice day today, and I just keep thinking what my husband and I would be doing on a day like this if he were here. Some days the loneliness is all consuming. I try...get together with friends, run races, joined the garden club, but nothing fills the void. He has been gone almost 2 yrs. and I miss him so very much, just don't know what to do to fill my time.


  • connsteele
    connsteele Member Posts: 232
    Beckymarie: this is
    Beckymarie: this is connsteele from the brain tumor discussion board. Well, here we meet again on the bereavement board. As you probably know, our son David passed away April 14. Even though we knew that day would come, it has been so surreal. Our daughter, thank goodness, got here the day before he passed. So glad as she has been so much support. She is flying back to her home Sunday and I think reality is going to set in then. She said the same thing: that while she has been here, "taking care of us," it has been a distraction for her... from dealing with her own grief. When she leaves, she won't have that distraction. I will worry about her then.

    I really want to go away somewhere for a while...mainly to be near her. But now my husband has developed some worrying symptoms...he was been on and off treatment for prostate cancer since 2003 and done well, but now he has developed severe back pain, which is always worrisome for someone who has had prostate cancer. Of course, we think it was from all the lifting of David we did the last two weeks...he was dead weight...couldn't support himself at all. But I fell like I can't start to really grieve for our son as long as I have this fear that my husband's cancer might be rearing its ugly head.

    I appreciate all your replies to my posts on the brain tumor site. I hope that you are doing as well as can be expected. I feel like we have been thrust in a raft on a huge expanse of water. We cannot see the opposite shore where we are headed. Some days the water is calm and peaceful and other days it is stormy and rough.

    I hope you will have some peaceful days ahead.

    m/o David