Another cancer, scared,freaking out!

Patiann

Hi,
I lost my way to "here" ,and couldn't read or post. Anyway....
I was just in FL visiting my daughter,because she had twins. I unexpectedly had a huge GI bleed out. Ended up in the ER! Transferred to my hometown hospital in NJ. Had a blood transfusion, found out I have a cecum colon mass, my colon cancer has returned! (had it in 2001 atage 34!) I was ten years colon cancer free! So what the heck?!?! I'm already battling stage 4 breast cancer with bone mets... I'm worn out . Sick of these cancer battles. My husband isn't very helpful, hasn't said two words to me about it. I guess he is tired of having a sick wife who does nothing but cry and feel yucky?
I'm nervous to have surgery, nervous to have colostomy! Scared about recovery, stitches pain,etcetcetc, no help with aftercare. I feel soooooo alone.
Help.
Patiann F.

LoveBabyJesus

Dear Patiann -- I'm sorry
Dear Patiann -- I'm sorry about your present health situation. It must be very overwhelming and stressful - UGH. You've come to the right place though. Please hang in there and try to stay positive. I know easier said than done, but this is what we must do as warriors. What is the plan your Onco is recommending, considering you're probably on treatment for the bc?

About your husband, he is probably scared and doesn't know how to show his support. People react differently. But you can't be strong for everyone else. You need to stay strong for you. Maybe try to open up to him, share your emotions (don't let him guess how you feel), and he may be able to open up to you, eventually. It takes time, but I am sure he is worried about you. I think it's important to try and communicate. Perhaps you should hold his hand first, and initiate the dialogue.

We are here too. Please keep us posted about your progress.

I will have you in my prayers.

ladyg

So glad you found
your way back to "here" but I am sorry for the reasons you need to be here. I can't imagine how hard it must be to be fighting 2 battles at once. One thing that might help you keep going is thinking about those twin grandbabies. I will keep you in my thoughts and send you positive energy to help you through.

Hugs,
Georgia

carkris

ladyg said:

So glad you found
your way back to "here" but I am sorry for the reasons you need to be here. I can't imagine how hard it must be to be fighting 2 battles at once. One thing that might help you keep going is thinking about those twin grandbabies. I will keep you in my thoughts and send you positive energy to help you through.

Hugs,
Georgia

oh my I am so sorry. dont
oh my I am so sorry. dont you think enough is enough geez!!!! We are here let us know what the plan is. Hugs!

mom62

Wow
Wow, you have had a hard time. I'm sorry it is back that stinks. I've had cancer twice and have mets. I understand a little. I know the bag is not something anyone looks forward to. I'm sure your husband cares they just handle things differently, that I know. You came to the right place to vent. You have a right to cry and scream. It's not fair. I wish you all the best in your new journey. I am curious why you don't get after care? Do you not have good insurance? Most will pay for after care in situations like yours please inquire with your surgeon/doctor/oncologist. Prayers for you.

Terry

Ballerina

I am so sorry you have to
Patiann, I am sorry you have to experience this again. You are not alone. My heart, prayers, and hugs will be with you along with the rest of your sisters. When you are not on this site, think of us knowing we are there in spirit fighting with you. Cry, cry, cry, and even scream out loud. You are a throoper for fighting this long and after you are done crying and shouting you will fight again. Know that God is your aftercare!

Ballerina

jessiesmom1

Two types of Cancer
Oh Patiann, I hardly know where to begin this post. My heart truly goes out to you. To have had colon cancer once, then metastatic breast cancer and then colon cancer again? Some people just "hit the medical jackpot" don't they? I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis (MS) and four years later was diagnosed with breast cancer. Sometimes I feel like I have just been given more than my share to handle. I imagine you may feel the same way. I too have periods of time where I am just tired of it all. My cancer is currently in remission but the MS is forever.

I am sure there are times when my husband (of almost 25 years) must feel like he got a lemon when he got me and HE is a colon cancer survivor! I keep a lot of what I am thinking and feeling to myself as I don't want to burden him with my depressed moods any more than necessary. I must say though that during chemo, 5 surgeries and multiple scans/procedures he was pretty supportive and helpful. I just get the feeling that he has sometimes reached his limits of support and understanding and thinks it is time to be "normal" again. Maybe your husband is the one who needs counseling or a support group. Would he be agreeable to something like that? When we have an illness or disease we often don't realize the stresses it places upon our family and caregivers.

Sounds to me like you have a lot to live for. You have a daughter and 2 new grandchildren. Wouldn't it be nice to see them grow up? You are not alone when the Pinks are here.

IRENE

DianeBC

Ballerina said:

I am so sorry you have to
Patiann, I am sorry you have to experience this again. You are not alone. My heart, prayers, and hugs will be with you along with the rest of your sisters. When you are not on this site, think of us knowing we are there in spirit fighting with you. Cry, cry, cry, and even scream out loud. You are a throoper for fighting this long and after you are done crying and shouting you will fight again. Know that God is your aftercare!

Ballerina

I am so sorry Patiann that
I am so sorry Patiann that you are going through this again. I am sending you positive thoughts and hugs.


Praying,

Diane

graciexu

jessiesmom1 said:

Two types of Cancer
Oh Patiann, I hardly know where to begin this post. My heart truly goes out to you. To have had colon cancer once, then metastatic breast cancer and then colon cancer again? Some people just "hit the medical jackpot" don't they? I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis (MS) and four years later was diagnosed with breast cancer. Sometimes I feel like I have just been given more than my share to handle. I imagine you may feel the same way. I too have periods of time where I am just tired of it all. My cancer is currently in remission but the MS is forever.

I am sure there are times when my husband (of almost 25 years) must feel like he got a lemon when he got me and HE is a colon cancer survivor! I keep a lot of what I am thinking and feeling to myself as I don't want to burden him with my depressed moods any more than necessary. I must say though that during chemo, 5 surgeries and multiple scans/procedures he was pretty supportive and helpful. I just get the feeling that he has sometimes reached his limits of support and understanding and thinks it is time to be "normal" again. Maybe your husband is the one who needs counseling or a support group. Would he be agreeable to something like that? When we have an illness or disease we often don't realize the stresses it places upon our family and caregivers.

Sounds to me like you have a lot to live for. You have a daughter and 2 new grandchildren. Wouldn't it be nice to see them grow up? You are not alone when the Pinks are here.

IRENE

Please think postive!
I'm sorry to hear but please please think positive, you are not along, we are here to support you.

SueRelays

graciexu said:

Please think postive!
I'm sorry to hear but please please think positive, you are not along, we are here to support you.

So sorry to hear your news
So sorry to hear your news . Not sure why some of us have to go in to battle more than once...I have now had 3 primaries. I have had 1/5 of my lung removed, 1/2 of my liver, and now both of my breasts. I know the burden you think you place on your family....but I'm sure they are just as devastated as you are. I hope your husband can find a way to show you how much he cares and is there to get you through this. But in the meantime, what a family there is here!!!!

Wish you strength and a brighter future!!

Alexis F

jessiesmom1 said:

Two types of Cancer
Oh Patiann, I hardly know where to begin this post. My heart truly goes out to you. To have had colon cancer once, then metastatic breast cancer and then colon cancer again? Some people just "hit the medical jackpot" don't they? I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis (MS) and four years later was diagnosed with breast cancer. Sometimes I feel like I have just been given more than my share to handle. I imagine you may feel the same way. I too have periods of time where I am just tired of it all. My cancer is currently in remission but the MS is forever.

I am sure there are times when my husband (of almost 25 years) must feel like he got a lemon when he got me and HE is a colon cancer survivor! I keep a lot of what I am thinking and feeling to myself as I don't want to burden him with my depressed moods any more than necessary. I must say though that during chemo, 5 surgeries and multiple scans/procedures he was pretty supportive and helpful. I just get the feeling that he has sometimes reached his limits of support and understanding and thinks it is time to be "normal" again. Maybe your husband is the one who needs counseling or a support group. Would he be agreeable to something like that? When we have an illness or disease we often don't realize the stresses it places upon our family and caregivers.

Sounds to me like you have a lot to live for. You have a daughter and 2 new grandchildren. Wouldn't it be nice to see them grow up? You are not alone when the Pinks are here.

IRENE

I am sorry and want you to
I am sorry and want you to know that I am here for you and that I will be praying for you also.


Hugs, Lex

jgpaulson

SueRelays said:

So sorry to hear your news
So sorry to hear your news . Not sure why some of us have to go in to battle more than once...I have now had 3 primaries. I have had 1/5 of my lung removed, 1/2 of my liver, and now both of my breasts. I know the burden you think you place on your family....but I'm sure they are just as devastated as you are. I hope your husband can find a way to show you how much he cares and is there to get you through this. But in the meantime, what a family there is here!!!!

Wish you strength and a brighter future!!

You are truly remarkable
Hi Sue:
When you say you had three primaries - what does that mean?

I have had breast cancer and now in the othr breast they are going to do a biopsy.
I am so worn out and tired of anything medical - doctors, medications, wating rooms etc.....

How do you cope? I feel very depressed at imes and feel I just can't handle it.

I had 8 surgeries of vatious types in 3 years.

I don't feel I can tal;k to anyone about anything medical anymore. I feel they must be tired of hearing it - I certainly am. It is alonely place.

Who do you talk to?

Jeanne

jgpaulson

jessiesmom1 said:

Two types of Cancer
Oh Patiann, I hardly know where to begin this post. My heart truly goes out to you. To have had colon cancer once, then metastatic breast cancer and then colon cancer again? Some people just "hit the medical jackpot" don't they? I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis (MS) and four years later was diagnosed with breast cancer. Sometimes I feel like I have just been given more than my share to handle. I imagine you may feel the same way. I too have periods of time where I am just tired of it all. My cancer is currently in remission but the MS is forever.

I am sure there are times when my husband (of almost 25 years) must feel like he got a lemon when he got me and HE is a colon cancer survivor! I keep a lot of what I am thinking and feeling to myself as I don't want to burden him with my depressed moods any more than necessary. I must say though that during chemo, 5 surgeries and multiple scans/procedures he was pretty supportive and helpful. I just get the feeling that he has sometimes reached his limits of support and understanding and thinks it is time to be "normal" again. Maybe your husband is the one who needs counseling or a support group. Would he be agreeable to something like that? When we have an illness or disease we often don't realize the stresses it places upon our family and caregivers.

Sounds to me like you have a lot to live for. You have a daughter and 2 new grandchildren. Wouldn't it be nice to see them grow up? You are not alone when the Pinks are here.

IRENE

Can't take anymore!!
Hi Irene:
I have had 8 surgeries in 3 years, including one for breast cancer. Now, I have to have a biopsy for a mass in the other breast.

I hear you loud and clear. I am sick of this! I say, why me - what did I do wrong?

My husband, even after 43 years still listens to me rant and rave. I know he is worried about me - so I don't share everything with him. I feel I can't talk to my family and friends anymore about anything medical - they are sick of it.

The only reason I can get up in the morning is because I have to be there for my 4 year old autistic grandson so i can help my daughter. But that depresses me too.

You are quite a remarkable woman. Tell me how you kept on going day after day.

Jeanne

diansmith

Dear Patiann, I am so sorry
Patiann, I am sending you warm hugs, and pray for your strenght and for your husband.
cheers

laughs_a_lot

Wow
We need to have some miracle chemo for you. Better yet how about just a plain miracle with no chemo involved. If I could hand out miracles I sure would give you one. I can't hand out miracles but I can pray. So I'd best get busy.