friend (my 2nd family) hard time with chemo

disneyfan2008
disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
in Breast Cancer #1
She has been doing LONG chemos once a week and shorter ones, followed by shot day after. Bad reaction, bad bone pain, can't eat etc. (also has other immunane disease so doens't want visitor due to germs) SO not much I can do for her. I am at lose..any suggetions.? ONLY thing I have been doing daily for 3 -4 mths is visiting her dad in nursing home since she can't. I take him goodies etc..sit and talk (known since I was born so we have 52 yrs to talk about) Iknow she says this eases up stress..but I wish I could help her! I never had chemo etc (radiation only) so I can no relate...and her mom died 18mths ago from BC..

thoughts?

Denise

Comments

  • Lighthouse_7
    Lighthouse_7 Member Posts: 1,566 Member
    #2
    Gee Denise,
    I can see your
    Gee Denise,
    I can see your problem with what to do for her, but my gosh, you are an awesome friend for visiting her dad. I'm sure that helps her so much. You have taken that responsibility for her. You are wonderful.

    I don't know what to suggest because of the auto immune thing but can you get her a cozy blanket and send it with someone? If you can send something here are a few thoughts. These things helped me a lot through chemo.
    1. the cozy blanket that I mentioned
    2. anything cold like fresh fruit or popsicles (for the sore mouth and throat)
    3. an inspirational music CD if she has head phones

    Too bad you can't visit during chemo because my daughter brought a massage lady to rub my
    feet one day while in chemo and it was wonderful.

    I know you'll get other suggestions and I hope this helps.
    You are an incredible friend.
    HUGS,
    Wanda
  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    #3
    Lighthouse_7 said:

    Gee Denise,
    I can see your
    Gee Denise,
    I can see your problem with what to do for her, but my gosh, you are an awesome friend for visiting her dad. I'm sure that helps her so much. You have taken that responsibility for her. You are wonderful.

    I don't know what to suggest because of the auto immune thing but can you get her a cozy blanket and send it with someone? If you can send something here are a few thoughts. These things helped me a lot through chemo.
    1. the cozy blanket that I mentioned
    2. anything cold like fresh fruit or popsicles (for the sore mouth and throat)
    3. an inspirational music CD if she has head phones

    Too bad you can't visit during chemo because my daughter brought a massage lady to rub my
    feet one day while in chemo and it was wonderful.

    I know you'll get other suggestions and I hope this helps.
    You are an incredible friend.
    HUGS,
    Wanda

    Wanda: thanks so much for
    Wanda: thanks so mcuh for suggestions..I think perhaps CD if she has CD player. she has Ipad she takes with her...can you down load music on that? I would get her gift card for down load perhaps. I stop by on occassion leave a balloon and card tied to her door. I have offered any errands...laundry etc..I even told her I would take off for day if her husband needed a break for session. (he's retired)

    Cozy blanket also sound great....

    thanks so much..

    Denise
  • Frankie Shannon
    Frankie Shannon Member Posts: 457
    #4
    disneyfan2008 said:

    Wanda: thanks so much for
    Wanda: thanks so mcuh for suggestions..I think perhaps CD if she has CD player. she has Ipad she takes with her...can you down load music on that? I would get her gift card for down load perhaps. I stop by on occassion leave a balloon and card tied to her door. I have offered any errands...laundry etc..I even told her I would take off for day if her husband needed a break for session. (he's retired)

    Cozy blanket also sound great....

    thanks so much..

    Denise

    I don't know what to suggest
    I don't know what to suggest as i never went through cemo so i can't relate but it seems like you are helping out alot gust with what you are doing.You are a great friend to her.

    Hugs Frankie
  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    #5
    Frankie Shannon said:

    I don't know what to suggest
    I don't know what to suggest as i never went through cemo so i can't relate but it seems like you are helping out alot gust with what you are doing.You are a great friend to her.

    Hugs Frankie

    Thanks...she says big help
    Thanks...she says big help tending to her dad. Today is his b day ..so my grandsons and I are going down with balloons, rice pudding (favorite) and visit with him!

    HE is like my dad (mine died when I was 19) he gave me away in our wedding etc..very very close to him!


    Denise
  • survivorbc09
    survivorbc09 Member Posts: 4,374 Member
    #6
    disneyfan2008 said:

    Wanda: thanks so much for
    Wanda: thanks so mcuh for suggestions..I think perhaps CD if she has CD player. she has Ipad she takes with her...can you down load music on that? I would get her gift card for down load perhaps. I stop by on occassion leave a balloon and card tied to her door. I have offered any errands...laundry etc..I even told her I would take off for day if her husband needed a break for session. (he's retired)

    Cozy blanket also sound great....

    thanks so much..

    Denise

    You are a wonderful friend
    You are a wonderful friend Denise. I will be praying for your friend.

    Hugs, Jan
  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    #7
    survivorbc09 said:

    You are a wonderful friend
    You are a wonderful friend Denise. I will be praying for your friend.

    Hugs, Jan

    thanks everyone...
    Denise...

    thanks everyone...

    Denise...
  • joannstar
    joannstar Member Posts: 403 Member
    #8
    Perhaps you can offer
    to do her grocery shopping and drop it off at the front door. I was soooo tired during chemo and the follow up shots and bone pain made it difficult lift my feet to walk. I was lucky, my husband of 4 months did a lot for me.
    You might also offer to cook or bring some soup that she likes.
    I'd suggest helping her do laundry and/or clean, but she may not want you in the house to prevent germs.
    Also, ask...she may have some needs that you could help with.
    JoAnn
  • sweetvickid
    sweetvickid Member Posts: 459 Member
    #9
    YOu could go in while she is
    YOu could go in while she is at chemo and do her laundry or clean her house. Send her funny cards I loved getting mail! You are a wonderful friend!
  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    #10
    joannstar said:

    Perhaps you can offer
    to do her grocery shopping and drop it off at the front door. I was soooo tired during chemo and the follow up shots and bone pain made it difficult lift my feet to walk. I was lucky, my husband of 4 months did a lot for me.
    You might also offer to cook or bring some soup that she likes.
    I'd suggest helping her do laundry and/or clean, but she may not want you in the house to prevent germs.
    Also, ask...she may have some needs that you could help with.
    JoAnn

    I have offered
    I have offered anything...bring food, house clean etc..right now food is not good idea (as she says) mouth sores, stomach issues. I did find home for her dad's dog (since he will not be getting out of nursing home...so takes some stress off her) She says just going to SEE her dad all the time is more then enough...but NOT really for her..SHE knows open ended offer anytime...
    Denise
  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    #11
    sweetvickid said:

    YOu could go in while she is
    YOu could go in while she is at chemo and do her laundry or clean her house. Send her funny cards I loved getting mail! You are a wonderful friend!

    she is not far from me so I
    she is not far from me so I stop on occassion with ballons, cards, sometimes flowers and leave at door...

    Denise

    Thanks all...

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