What would you do?

stayingstrongfortoday

The doctor has given up. They given you so long to long live? What do you do?

MAJW

Find a new one!
Don't allow anyone to give up on you! Get second and third opinions if needed...there are numerous clinical trials...check with a large teaching hospital near you.....FIND A NEW ONCOLOGIST!!!!! And as soon as you can! they aren't God..many have been told this years ago and are still here...most of all don't give up on yourself!

My husband's friend was told he had less than 3 months to live last year..pancreatic cancer with mets to his liver....he's still here!

PLEASE PLEASE don't give up.....

Wishing I coiled give you a real hug...
Nancy

Gabe N Abby Mom

I agree with the
I agree with the girls...find another doc. I don't think docs should put out time frames, they are proven wrong too often. I certainly don't want anyone telling me how long I have to live.

hugs,

Linda

Rague

Find a new DR ASAP!
Susan

Find a new DR ASAP!

Susan

mom62

How Are You
Hi,

How do you feel physically? If you feel like you are still in the fight find another doctor. I don't know what all the details but I think you said you had brain mets? Not sure if I'm right. I believe in a good fight don't get me wrong and all the men/ladies on this board may not agree with me but I also have a different view. I have had cancer twice. I am still stage 4 with bone mets. I feel pretty good so as of right now I would be up for another fight. I have resigned myself if the time comes that I will stop treatment and live with grace until I pass. I want to be here for my children but I believe we know our bodies and that is where I think it is up to you. It is your decision what you want to do. Regardless I am a big supporter of leaving video or letters for your children if you are still feeling well. You may have ten more years but at least they would be there if you ever needed them. I don't want to bring anyone down. Everyone has their own opinion and only you know what the truth is. Fight the good fight as long as that is what you want. I feel for you and pray for you and hope you can find another doctor to at least get a second opinion on your prognosis. I hope I haven't offended anyone and I will be praying for you. God Bless.

camul

I would find another doctor.
I would find another doctor. My doctor told me at the beginning that I had about 3-6 months maybe a little longer if the chemo worked. But he also told me that as long as the chemo was slowing down the progression, that we would keep going trying to find one that may give me more time. So far I just finished #3, and if that doesn't work then we will try #4. He only gave me a time frame because I was pushing for it, he does not like giving them, but I do feel good that that was over 17 months ago, and so is he!

The last time I went in, I was not feeling good and at that moment really didn't care..... he told me not to give up, that as long as I am walking, finding enjoyment in my life, he wasn't giving up and didn't want me to either.

This is when you find another doctor. If you are asking us, you are not ready to give up. Mine keeps telling me that if this one doesn't work, then we try another.

Don't give up get a second, third, even a forth opinion.

Prayers and hugs,
Carol

SIROD

Hi,

It depends where you are in the journey.

If you are TNBC, have you tried all the chemotherapy, combinations, a trial or two? If you are the triple positives, have you done it all, again a trial or two?

If the cancer is growing faster than all the treatments available, trials are no longer an option and the tumor load is beginning to overburden a major organ, then it might be time for quality over quantity.

If you believe that your oncologist is not helping you and you really want to continue, seek a new opinion at a major cancer center. See a new oncologist.

No human can predict how long you have with this disease. They can base on years of experience give an estimate. Some people live longer and some shorter than the calculated time. Some do want to have some quality of time to do their last bucket list, be with family while feeling good for a while, continue to make memories...

What do you do? That is a decision each person makes for themselves. It isn't up to your doctor, your spouse, children or best friends, it is up to the person dealing with the disease.

Best,

Doris

aysemari

Above all
I would use my time wisely. And I would never give up. I
would keep fighting in every little way I can. This may be
in the form of resting and meditating to strengthen my mental
state, it may be a simple walk or it may be looking for a trial.
But I would also make sure that I am prepared, for whatever.
This has always been my way of dealing, I ask what's the worst
thing that can happen? Face that fear first and then the rest
comes easier for me.

I can only imagine how terrifying this must feel for you. Don't
let fear dominate your life and your decisions. When I was diagnosed
I had already prepared myself for the worst, took care of my finances,
had back up homes for my cats. This took a load off me and I could then
concentrate 100% on my healing. I hate that you have to go through this
especially with your two young children. Embrace them.

Sending you lots of comforting hugs,

Ayse

missrenee

aysemari said:

Above all
I would use my time wisely. And I would never give up. I
would keep fighting in every little way I can. This may be
in the form of resting and meditating to strengthen my mental
state, it may be a simple walk or it may be looking for a trial.
But I would also make sure that I am prepared, for whatever.
This has always been my way of dealing, I ask what's the worst
thing that can happen? Face that fear first and then the rest
comes easier for me.

I can only imagine how terrifying this must feel for you. Don't
let fear dominate your life and your decisions. When I was diagnosed
I had already prepared myself for the worst, took care of my finances,
had back up homes for my cats. This took a load off me and I could then
concentrate 100% on my healing. I hate that you have to go through this
especially with your two young children. Embrace them.

Sending you lots of comforting hugs,

Ayse

Oh, sweetheart, this is really is a personal decision
depending on where you are with this physically as well as mentally. I've already been thinking of writing letters to various people to make sure they will always know how important they were to me in my life. As Ayse said, not to be morbid, just to be prepared so that I am able to do it while I can and the letters will be there.

If it were me, I'd try to do something special with my children--each and every day. I don't know the ages of your children but, if they are young--tell them a funny story about when you were a child, go on a short nature walk, play in the snow, bake a batch of cookies, play with their favorite toy with them for a little while--any time you spend with a child at all is good time.

Please keep checking in with us. We care and are with you in spirit.

Hugs, Renee

disneyfan2008

find new Doctor..
Denise

find new Doctor..

Denise

disneyfan2008

Rague said:

Find a new DR ASAP!
Susan

Find a new DR ASAP!

Susan

totally agree

totally agree

DianeBC

MAJW said:

Find a new one!
Don't allow anyone to give up on you! Get second and third opinions if needed...there are numerous clinical trials...check with a large teaching hospital near you.....FIND A NEW ONCOLOGIST!!!!! And as soon as you can! they aren't God..many have been told this years ago and are still here...most of all don't give up on yourself!

My husband's friend was told he had less than 3 months to live last year..pancreatic cancer with mets to his liver....he's still here!

PLEASE PLEASE don't give up.....

Wishing I coiled give you a real hug...
Nancy

I agree with Nancy, find a
I agree with Nancy, find a new doctor! No one should ever give up and especially not any oncologist on a patient. There's always something new.


Hugs, Diane

Alexis F

mom62 said:

How Are You
Hi,

How do you feel physically? If you feel like you are still in the fight find another doctor. I don't know what all the details but I think you said you had brain mets? Not sure if I'm right. I believe in a good fight don't get me wrong and all the men/ladies on this board may not agree with me but I also have a different view. I have had cancer twice. I am still stage 4 with bone mets. I feel pretty good so as of right now I would be up for another fight. I have resigned myself if the time comes that I will stop treatment and live with grace until I pass. I want to be here for my children but I believe we know our bodies and that is where I think it is up to you. It is your decision what you want to do. Regardless I am a big supporter of leaving video or letters for your children if you are still feeling well. You may have ten more years but at least they would be there if you ever needed them. I don't want to bring anyone down. Everyone has their own opinion and only you know what the truth is. Fight the good fight as long as that is what you want. I feel for you and pray for you and hope you can find another doctor to at least get a second opinion on your prognosis. I hope I haven't offended anyone and I will be praying for you. God Bless.

Please find a new doctor,
Please find a new doctor, please!

DebbyM

disneyfan2008 said:

find new Doctor..
Denise

find new Doctor..

Denise

I've been checking to see
I've been checking to see any update from you. We're worried about you and are concerned.

Lighthouse_7

DebbyM said:

I've been checking to see
I've been checking to see any update from you. We're worried about you and are concerned.

I think every answer to your
I think every answer to your post is the best advise anyone could have, so I won't repeat any of them. All I can say is I wish you peace and love and I hope you are okay.
Love & Hugs,
Wanda

Alexis F

Lighthouse_7 said:

I think every answer to your
I think every answer to your post is the best advise anyone could have, so I won't repeat any of them. All I can say is I wish you peace and love and I hope you are okay.
Love & Hugs,
Wanda

I am praying for you as are
I am praying for you as are the other sisters.


Lex

jendrey

Alexis F said:

I am praying for you as are
I am praying for you as are the other sisters.


Lex

You do what feels right for you.
My bf's grandmother was told she had 3 months to live after being diagnosed with brain cancer. She died exactly 3 months later but first she had the biggest, grandest party ever. She was 88 and left behind her live-in boyfriend among much family and friends.

His other grandmother was also 88 when she was first diagnosed with lung cancer with mets to her bones. After grueling chemotherapy infusions she now takes chemo pills to keep the cancer at bay. They won't operate on the mass in her lungs and she did get a metal rod put into her arm due to the bone mets. (She also had a hysterectomy this past year.) But you'd never know it!

When the doctor told her about how long to expect to live, she's a tad bit hard of hearing so she turned to her daughter and said, "oh, what'd he say?" and nobody told her that part what how long the dr. said she'd live.

She will be 90 this April 1st, and still going strong. Her hair's a little shorter than she'd like it to be but other than that she has no complaints.

Your doctor doesn't know how long you have left to live. At best, he's basing his GUESS on how long what others with similar cancers have lived. Which may or may not be accurate in your particular case.

You just do what feels right for you.

(((Hugs)))