Hospice

ifalk

Today we made the dicision to call hospice in to take over Jarrell's care. I am feeling so angry with his doctors right now. If only they would have been more truthfull, we could have given him a better quality of life sooner. It saddens me as I watch his depression deepen. We had such high hopes. I am feeling so defeated at this moment. I know hospice is a great organization and will help a great deal.

Ida

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ifalk

unknown said:

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Thank you
Thank you William and Sherri

As I wait for hospice to come in this afternoon I watch Jarrell sleeping in the chair and my heart breaks. What is he feeling? Is he scared? Is he at peace? If I ask him he will tell me what I want to hear as his dicisions have always been about his family's feelings. I want to go back in time 5 years ago and do the things we wanted to do, but instead did the responsible things. I want him to be around forever, even though I know this is not the case. Then my minds goes to our little 4 year old grand daughter who is a miricle in herself and my heart breaks again. How can a 4 year except that poppop is not getting better. The closeness between them is unreal and he will say it breaks his heart he will not be here to watch her grow up. Then to my children who will lose there father, the man that helped make them the great people they are today. This sight has been a great source of comfort for me and William and Sherri you two have helped me so much.
Again i thank you
Ida

lindadanis

So sorry to hear your news
Hi, you do not know me but I am very good friends of William and Sherri. They both helped me alot when I went through exactly what you are going through right now. I recently wrote a post about doctors and how I felt about them and not being totally honest. I just read your post and I remember how I felt the day hospice came into our lives. There are no words that can truly express that feeling, I remember the pain I felt, the maddness I felt and honestly, I truly feel for you and your family. They are good people who help you tremedously and if you need anyone to talk to, please contact me. My husband got very quiet when hospice arrived but they were there for my daughter and I.

Linda

prettywoman513

I am so sorry for you and
I am so sorry for you and your husband's suffering. I am praying for you and your family. Hospice is a wonderful organization. They are going to make you and he feel much better. They are very helpful, compassionate people.

ritawaite13

ifalk said:

Thank you
Thank you William and Sherri

As I wait for hospice to come in this afternoon I watch Jarrell sleeping in the chair and my heart breaks. What is he feeling? Is he scared? Is he at peace? If I ask him he will tell me what I want to hear as his dicisions have always been about his family's feelings. I want to go back in time 5 years ago and do the things we wanted to do, but instead did the responsible things. I want him to be around forever, even though I know this is not the case. Then my minds goes to our little 4 year old grand daughter who is a miricle in herself and my heart breaks again. How can a 4 year except that poppop is not getting better. The closeness between them is unreal and he will say it breaks his heart he will not be here to watch her grow up. Then to my children who will lose there father, the man that helped make them the great people they are today. This sight has been a great source of comfort for me and William and Sherri you two have helped me so much.
Again i thank you
Ida

Hi Ida
I haven't been on this site as much recently but I'm so sorry to read your heart wrenching entries. This cancer is an awful cancer. I know the pain you're experiencing. My husband was diagnosed with stage IV EC in July 2011 and lived just 15 weeks after diagnosis. He was perfectly healthy and showed no signs of any problems until around mid June when he noticed trouble with swallowing. He was 64 and I miss him every day.
I'm sure you've realized by now that you've found an incredible group of people on this site. They will give you more answers and support than you would ever imagine from a group of folks you'll probably never even meet. William and Sherri are kind of the pioneers of the site so I'm glad they've both been in touch with you.
This site is truly a God-send for anyone going through what you're going through. I don't know if you're a Facebook person or not but there's also a group on there of caregivers and EC patients where we share stories and give support too.
Having been through this before I can only advise you to spend as much time as you can with your husband. Talking, hand-holding, cuddling and loving each other. I'm glad Hospice is entering the picture because they'll take over medication management and personal care details that you've been trying to juggle. Try to take just a little time for yourself too Ida. I hope you have good friends and family close to you for comfort in the days to come.

Hugs to you,
Rita

TerryV

Our prayers are with you, Ida
I am so sorry to hear that Jarrell is moving to hospice, but grateful to know that hospice is available to assist you. I'm told that hospice is a wonder during difficult times.

Please know that we are here to help you through the difficult days, here even to share your joy and laughter on the good days. Treasure them all - life and time are precious.

Love & Hugs,

Terry
wife to Nick, age 48
dx 05/19/11, T3N1M0
28 rads/2 weeks in-patient Cisplatin/5FU
THE 09/08/11
NED 09/13/11

TerryV

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TerryV

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MissusB

TerryV said:

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Praying for you both, Ida -
I know what you are going through is probably the most difficult time you'll ever face. I'll pray that you'll have both the peace and strength to help your husband through this. Be with him and cherish your time together. Love to you - Kim

sandy1943

Ida, Hospice will help
Ida, Hospice will help Jarrell as well as you. I pray that God will give you both peace and comfort in the days ahead.
Sandra

ifalk

sandy1943 said:

Ida, Hospice will help
Ida, Hospice will help Jarrell as well as you. I pray that God will give you both peace and comfort in the days ahead.
Sandra

update
Just an update on hospice. They came in right away and took over on everything gave us everything we need and more. Jarrell is feeling and looking better than he has in months. They changed his medication regiment and he is up receiving vistors and looking forward to things again. Hard to believe this could all take place in a 48 hour period. Our son came from Orlando and is spending the weekend and Jarrell is actually sitting up having great conversations. our daughter, grandaughter, niece and children will arive in awhile to spend an hour and for the first time Jarrell actually feels he can handle this. Before he dreaded vistors.

As for me I feel like a ton of bricks lifted off me from the moment hospice arrived. What a great organazation. As my son says wow they are a well oiled machine. So for now we are doing well. I know things can change in a moment but I am no longer living for that moment I am living for the min hour day and enjoying the good times.

Ida