Hospice - what I would give to know this before I brought my lovely young wife there -

Hoogenakker Member Posts: 7
Full post here. If this post helps you, or can help others, please share the link or site. It's heartfelt and a little edgy and except for this post, usually some caregiver humor thrown in for good measure


First excerpt of 1/3 of post:

Ok, we might have been just like you. For us, after fighting melanoma for 4 years and beating the damn thing back time after time, our opinion of hospice was “I’m giving up”. There was no way my gentle wife, fighting this like a real S.O.B., was going to give up, not one ounce, period. She was barely over 50 yrs old, too much life to live.

So, when we had a turn for the worst, and she was really unable to communicate with me or her family, I had to make the call for her, a call that would determine the life of my Teri and affect the lives of the 1000 or so people she knew or was on her caringbridge site.

I have to remember that when Teri was pregnant with Gerrit, at about 35, they wanted to do all these tests for downs, spinobiffida and a host of other potential problems so they could abort if necessary. Teri wouldn’t do the tests. When I asked why, she said that however the baby turned, out, even in bad shape, it was destined by God and it was our burden to bear. So, why do the examinations, she said, we are having this baby!
Ok, I don’t remember for sure, but I’m sure me, the doctor and the nurse were all getting “The Look” from my wife. Remember this, we’ll spin back around to this at the end!
Now I’m scared to death of “The Look” and wouldn’t cross it for anything, but the doctor and the nurse got the message too. No tests, by God, we will make whatever is coming work.

So I had to make the call to go to hospice. It felt surreal. I didn’t understand what it was, but there was really no way for anyone to explain. My wife completed her....

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