Friend found out she had cancer yesterday

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AndreaLN
AndreaLN Member Posts: 18
Hello everyone,

I have been questioning God why I had to have breast cancer not once but twice. Why I had to put my life on hold not once but twice. Why did the doctor make the mistake and leave breast tissue that would cause this to all come back and me have to go to doctors, have surgery, treatments ..etc... Why oh why??

Well a few weeks ago a school friend from 30 years ago and I reconnected. About a week after us talking she told me she had to go have her mammogram. I told her how proud I was that she was doing that. Well the next day they called her that they needed her to come back for more films as they thought there was something there. This past Monday she went and had a biopsy. I told her that if she would like I would go with her to get the results and hold her hand. We would pray for the best and work through the worst and I would be there with her through it all. She asked me to go with her. So yesterday we went.

As you all know the moment the doctor tells you that you have cancer your brain shuts down. If you have never been through this you do not know the questions to ask or how to talk to the doctors or handle it. I saw the look in my friend Patty's eyes as he told her she had breast cancer and my heart broke for her but my mind went into gear. While she struggled to wrap her brain around the thought I asked questions for her trying not to over step my bounds with her and her doctor. She is from all that he told us is stage 1 and they are getting the process in motion quickly to get her taken care of. As I told her the faster she gets this done the faster she gets back to her world and less time to sit and worry or think way to much. So today she has a MRI, Monday she and I go talk to the plastic surgeon and Tuesday we go get the results of the MRI. Then she will decide what day to have double mastectomy.

We sat last night at Chili's resturant and talked after the doctors office and then we drove home still talking. I am not so sure she really was there brain wise yet. The last thing she asked me was how do I tell my children? My answer to her was to just sit them down and tell them, cry with them and talk to them but then let them be strong for her.

I have told her I would be with her through it all as long as she wants me to be but would step back as soon as she felt strong enough or just wanted me out of her business. As of now she wants me with her so it will be that way.

As you read in the first paragraph I questioned God...(something you should never ever do)but he answered me.. I am here going through this all to be with my friend who is just now starting this aweful journey of cancer. All I can say is Thank you God for allowing me to be here for my friend Patty. I ask each of you to Pray for her as she starts this and for me that I dont get on her nerves to much trying to be helpful.

Andrea

Comments

  • missrenee
    missrenee Member Posts: 2,136 Member
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    Oh Andrea--what a beautiful friend you are
    Yes, we've all been where she is right now--and she is lucky enough to have you in her life to help her through it. I, too, have questioned God's presence in my life (especially right now since I've just found out I have bone mets). I think it's only human that we question. That's where faith kicks in though. I agree with you--everything happens for a reason--we just don't always know what that reason is right away, so we question and begin to lose our faith.

    So glad you can be there for your friend, but remember, Andrea, be sure to take good care of yourself as well.

    Hugs, Renee
  • AndreaLN
    AndreaLN Member Posts: 18
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    missrenee said:

    Oh Andrea--what a beautiful friend you are
    Yes, we've all been where she is right now--and she is lucky enough to have you in her life to help her through it. I, too, have questioned God's presence in my life (especially right now since I've just found out I have bone mets). I think it's only human that we question. That's where faith kicks in though. I agree with you--everything happens for a reason--we just don't always know what that reason is right away, so we question and begin to lose our faith.

    So glad you can be there for your friend, but remember, Andrea, be sure to take good care of yourself as well.

    Hugs, Renee

    Questioning
    Renee

    I am so sorry you have found you have something else. It just seems like it is just a unending circle of pain, anxiety and dr's. I will keep you in my prayers. I kept telling people God brought me home from Afghanistan for a reason and I sure would like him to hurry up and tell me why because me sitting around was driving me mad. The faith got tested big time. He was showing me that answers do not come in my time but in his. Thank God for this. I promise you I am taking care of me. I just have to make sure she is taken care of also she has 2 children she has to be okay for.

    HUgggzz

    Andrea
  • Frankie Shannon
    Frankie Shannon Member Posts: 457
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    AndreaLN said:

    Questioning
    Renee

    I am so sorry you have found you have something else. It just seems like it is just a unending circle of pain, anxiety and dr's. I will keep you in my prayers. I kept telling people God brought me home from Afghanistan for a reason and I sure would like him to hurry up and tell me why because me sitting around was driving me mad. The faith got tested big time. He was showing me that answers do not come in my time but in his. Thank God for this. I promise you I am taking care of me. I just have to make sure she is taken care of also she has 2 children she has to be okay for.

    HUgggzz

    Andrea

    My thoughts and prayers go
    My thoughts and prayers go out to your friend.She is so lucky to have a friend like you.Strength,courage and love.Tell her the pink sisters will be with her through her journey.Hugs Frankie
  • Lynn Smith
    Lynn Smith Member Posts: 1,264 Member
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    My thoughts and prayers go
    My thoughts and prayers go out to your friend.She is so lucky to have a friend like you.Strength,courage and love.Tell her the pink sisters will be with her through her journey.Hugs Frankie

    It was meant to be
    It was meant to be that you connected with your friend.God had a hand in that.I believe that.You both now will be able to go through things together.You've been through it and now you are helping her through it.

    Wishing both of you the best.


    Lynn Smith
  • camul
    camul Member Posts: 2,537
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    Amazing how things works sometimes.
    Since being diagnosed originally, I have had the pleasure of being here for other friends who have gone through bc, or other cancers. I was fortunate when I first was diagnosed to have a sister in law who had gone through it and was able to answer so many questions for me.

    I have questioned many things since being diagnosed myself and I always come back to the feeling that there has to be a reason for everything I just may not know what it is today or tomorrow.

    What a great feeling for you knowing how much you are helping your friend.

    Hugs and prayers for both of you and her family.
  • laughs_a_lot
    laughs_a_lot Member Posts: 1,368 Member
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    camul said:

    Amazing how things works sometimes.
    Since being diagnosed originally, I have had the pleasure of being here for other friends who have gone through bc, or other cancers. I was fortunate when I first was diagnosed to have a sister in law who had gone through it and was able to answer so many questions for me.

    I have questioned many things since being diagnosed myself and I always come back to the feeling that there has to be a reason for everything I just may not know what it is today or tomorrow.

    What a great feeling for you knowing how much you are helping your friend.

    Hugs and prayers for both of you and her family.

    You see
    You see. There seems to be a purpose in all our suffering. I beleive it is ok to ask God about the suffering. I often ask this. "What is it you want me to learn from this?"
  • djdillon2012
    djdillon2012 Member Posts: 2
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    Lucky to have YOU
    Hi, I'm 42 and have been diagnosis last week with loboular carcinoma high grade. I am currently waiting for a genetic test to come back I also have appt with the plastic surgeon this week. I will be having my left breast removed and likely have the right one done if genetic test comes out positive.....I feel like your friend and I have a lot in common. Bottom line is, if I didn't have such a wonderful husband and true friends to get me thru this I don't know what I would do, Having people stand by your side really makes a difference. Every morning driving to work I listen to Martina Mcbrides "Gonna love u thru it" and realize that many people will. Believe me I'm scared to death but WE will be survivors of cancer. Take care and keep the faith. :)
  • survivorbc09
    survivorbc09 Member Posts: 4,374 Member
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    My thoughts and prayers go
    My thoughts and prayers go out to your friend.She is so lucky to have a friend like you.Strength,courage and love.Tell her the pink sisters will be with her through her journey.Hugs Frankie

    You're such a good friend!
    You're such a good friend! Positive thoughts and prayers to you and your friend.


    Hugs, Jan
  • DebbyM
    DebbyM Member Posts: 3,289 Member
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    My thoughts and prayers go
    My thoughts and prayers go out to your friend.She is so lucky to have a friend like you.Strength,courage and love.Tell her the pink sisters will be with her through her journey.Hugs Frankie

    Good thoughts and prayers
    Good thoughts and prayers for your friend!