Thank you

doitforoj

Thank you everyone for your kind words. Sharon, I think my depression (and only admit it here) came from the fact that I was the center of attention. Then suddenly it stops. I don't exactly mean that how it sounds. All of you can relate that once they say you are cancer free it does not really end physically or emotionally. People don't understand that you are reminded everyday about what happened. No salvia (Ratface I still remember you posting about trying to spit once and the wind got it...I understand that now LOL) or taste buds not right. I still can not really taste sweets. On the good side I am type II diabetic and the doc said my A1C level is well below the diabatic level and am no longer on any medication. They don't know what it is like to wonder if it is coming back or sitting in the Dr. office waiting for the results of the latest scan. They hear you are cancer free and think great you are fine so have a great remaining live. I also found that I started out after treatment so head strong on living life to the fulliest and doing everything healthy. Well I did and then slowed and I think I really hated myself for that. I am back working out and feel great. No matter why you are depressed...just remember hey you are atleast alive to be depressed. LOL

Grace and Peace

Kurt

PS Boy I wish they had dummy check on this. Sorry for the misspelling

Skiffin16

Kurt, I think all of us can relate to some if not all of those scenarios you mention.

I'm not usually ever depressed, but it was definitley a change at the end of treatment. That's when a lot get depressed.... For several months, everyday if you are doing the rads sessions, that it's all about you.

Everyone is doing everything to help you kill the cancer and survive. Then all of a sudden, it just all stops... You are back to the norm in life, with MD visits only every 6 - 8 weeks.

It's just weird....OK, treatment is done, let's just sit back now and see how it shakes out, LOL.

I'm over 2 1/2 years out, my taste and saliva have both returned nearly 100%. It took every bit of that time for sweet to finally completely return.

In all honesty, I don't think of it as my new norm anymore. I really just think of it as my old norm, with a few bruises.

I (and many others) still get anxiety around scan time...I think it's only natural. If I'm sick or have some ache or pain that last more than a few days, my mind starts messing with me and it's easy to think something is going on.

Not sure how long those things will persist...

Best,
John