My Mom is very weak

JMulkey Member Posts: 32
I posted on th caregivers forum too. She's gettng so weak. She wont' let them drain the ascites, because she's afraid the anemia is going to kill her. Her bowels are shutting down I think, and she's having trouble walking. I have no idea how to get through this. Hospital bed is coming in tomorrow. She told me yesterday she doesnt' want to use it. She wants to stay as independent of 'their' help (hospice) as possible. I asked her if she realized that there wuold come a time when she might not have a choice. She said yes, she does, but she isn't there yet. It's breaking my heart that she's not ready for this at all. What in the world can I do to help her? Have we made an awful decision in calling hospice in? Already I'm feeling so guilty, like I personally made this decision and it's all my fault now that she's going to die. This sucks. What can I do for her? How can I help her?


  • poopergirl14052
    poopergirl14052 Member Posts: 1,183 Member
    sorry to hear this
    It is very difficult to watch her decline,,just let her know you are there for her. Hopice can help her be pain free and comfortable,,,val
  • mopar
    mopar Member Posts: 1,972 Member
    I know this is not an easy time. But Hospice should be able to provide suggestions for your Mom, and comfort to everyone involved. There are things they can do to assist her that maybe she hasn't considered, that will still enable her to feel independent and hopeful. If in fact she is not ready for Hospice, they will know and will tell you. Please don't feel guilty. You only want what's best for your Mom, and sometimes we don't know what's available and feasible.

    Sending prayers and hugs to all of you.

  • Susan53
    Susan53 Member Posts: 178
    Hi it can be very difficult for your mother to think that she needs hospice. They can talk to her and evaluate the situation as to if she needs the care. Remember to let her know that hospice is there to help keep her comfortable. Things should get easier once they are there and working oh her comfort. They are there for you to talk to also, ask questions that you may want answers to. My good thought and prayers are with you and your family. Hugs Sharon