topo not working......christ I am in pieces

Mum2bellaandwilliam
Mum2bellaandwilliam Member Posts: 412
edited December 2011 in Ovarian Cancer #1
I am in bits.
I missed the chance to go and see the consultant today.
I then received a phone call from my sister saying that basically we are at the end of the road with mum , and that they would now only offer palliative care.
My god , I new this was in the post but , but hearing it for real is sick.
I cannot believe this happpening to my mum.I know,why not my mum, but I just cannot get my head around this at the moment.ggg
My mum is being sent home to die , this is not real , my rock , my soul mate, myg woman who has the answer to everything.
Please pray for her , we are going to see if she is eligable for a trial tomorrow, I have looked at the criteria and as she has had steroids I don't think she will fot the criteria,

This is not fair, none of this is fair on any of us , but tonoght I ant to scream. Ggggrrrrrrrrr!
I am petrified after seeing Linda and Nancy go down so quick , I think we don't have long.

Comments

  • Cindy Bear
    Cindy Bear Member Posts: 569
    #2
    Liz
    I am so sorry to read this. This effin disease sucks. It's not fair and this is the place to vent and scream. We will be praying for her and for you and hoping she can get into a clinical trial. Palliative care doesn't always mean the end is around the bend, sometimes people can live a long time with palliative care. Please let us know how she makes out tomorrow.
    Big hugs,
    Cindy
  • poopergirl14052
    poopergirl14052 Member Posts: 1,183 Member
    #3
    Cindy Bear said:

    Liz
    I am so sorry to read this. This effin disease sucks. It's not fair and this is the place to vent and scream. We will be praying for her and for you and hoping she can get into a clinical trial. Palliative care doesn't always mean the end is around the bend, sometimes people can live a long time with palliative care. Please let us know how she makes out tomorrow.
    Big hugs,
    Cindy

    sorry to hear chemo is not working
    How is you Mum feeling over all? Is she in pain..is she eating? Cindy is correct,,you can live a palliative care for a long time. I will be praying..keep us posted..val
  • da1955
    da1955 Member Posts: 30
    #4
    Hard on our families
    Every time I read one of your posts it reminds me how the effects of this disease go far beyond the person with the cancer. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I hope the trial works out for your Mum. Deb
  • Susan53
    Susan53 Member Posts: 178
    #5
    Praying
    Praying for you and Mum as I type. This OVCA is one awful thing and I wish we could find a cure for it. Hugs to you. Sharon
  • kellyh33
    kellyh33 Member Posts: 287
    #6
    I am so sorry about your
    I am so sorry about your mum. It is a hard path to go down for your mum and for you. My mom passed away in August after a 14 month battle. Sometimes I find it hard to believe it when I say it.
    My Mom also did a clinical trial that ended in April when it was no longer effective and then she tried a third type of chemo before we realized that it too had failed her.
    All I can say is you must let your mum set the pace and the tone for how she wants to live out her remaining days. If ever there was a time for her to be incontrol this is it. She must have her dignity. Mom was able to keep hers, she was also able to die at home. For this I will be forever thankful.
    The palliative care nurse was wonderful. She was able to give mom physical comfort when she needed it. Thankfully mom had next to no pain, any discomfort her had was from the acid reflux Mom had had for years. This too was minimal.
    Mom was my best friend, the person I turned to for advice and I loved her with every fibre of my being. I miss her terribly and most days are pretty good now I definitely have my grief bursts when I least expect it. It's not the big things that get me, it's the little everyday things I miss.
    Take care of yourself so you are able to take of your mum.
    Hugs,
    Kelly
  • jbeans888
    jbeans888 Member Posts: 313
    #7
    kellyh33 said:

    I am so sorry about your
    I am so sorry about your mum. It is a hard path to go down for your mum and for you. My mom passed away in August after a 14 month battle. Sometimes I find it hard to believe it when I say it.
    My Mom also did a clinical trial that ended in April when it was no longer effective and then she tried a third type of chemo before we realized that it too had failed her.
    All I can say is you must let your mum set the pace and the tone for how she wants to live out her remaining days. If ever there was a time for her to be incontrol this is it. She must have her dignity. Mom was able to keep hers, she was also able to die at home. For this I will be forever thankful.
    The palliative care nurse was wonderful. She was able to give mom physical comfort when she needed it. Thankfully mom had next to no pain, any discomfort her had was from the acid reflux Mom had had for years. This too was minimal.
    Mom was my best friend, the person I turned to for advice and I loved her with every fibre of my being. I miss her terribly and most days are pretty good now I definitely have my grief bursts when I least expect it. It's not the big things that get me, it's the little everyday things I miss.
    Take care of yourself so you are able to take of your mum.
    Hugs,
    Kelly

    I am very upset to hear
    I am very upset to hear about your mum. Your post was really emotional for me. I don't know why. I think I find it frustrating that there is nothing they can do. I know that day may come for me and my family and it so scary now I just can't imagine how you are feeling. This affects the whole family. I will keep you and your mom in my thoughts and prayers. keep us posted on what's happening.
  • jbeans888
    jbeans888 Member Posts: 313
    #8
    kellyh33 said:

    I am so sorry about your
    I am so sorry about your mum. It is a hard path to go down for your mum and for you. My mom passed away in August after a 14 month battle. Sometimes I find it hard to believe it when I say it.
    My Mom also did a clinical trial that ended in April when it was no longer effective and then she tried a third type of chemo before we realized that it too had failed her.
    All I can say is you must let your mum set the pace and the tone for how she wants to live out her remaining days. If ever there was a time for her to be incontrol this is it. She must have her dignity. Mom was able to keep hers, she was also able to die at home. For this I will be forever thankful.
    The palliative care nurse was wonderful. She was able to give mom physical comfort when she needed it. Thankfully mom had next to no pain, any discomfort her had was from the acid reflux Mom had had for years. This too was minimal.
    Mom was my best friend, the person I turned to for advice and I loved her with every fibre of my being. I miss her terribly and most days are pretty good now I definitely have my grief bursts when I least expect it. It's not the big things that get me, it's the little everyday things I miss.
    Take care of yourself so you are able to take of your mum.
    Hugs,
    Kelly

    I am very upset to hear
    I am very upset to hear about your mum. Your post was really emotional for me. I don't know why. I think I find it frustrating that there is nothing they can do. I know that day may come for me and my family and it so scary now I just can't imagine how you are feeling. This affects the whole family. I will keep you and your mom in my thoughts and prayers. keep us posted on what's happening.
  • Mwee
    Mwee Member Posts: 1,338
    #9
    So sorry to hear this news
    This disease is anything but fair. I've also seen many who have felt much better during pallitve care since they are no longer being subjected to chemo.
    ((((HUGS to you all)))) Maria
  • Cafewoman53
    Cafewoman53 Member Posts: 735 Member
    #10
    I am crying with you
    I do not cry easily but your words just touched me. Take a deep breath, your Mom may do very well on pallitive care you don't know that things will progress quickly or not. I wish I could do something to help. You are right to scream in frustration but do not give up yet, some of us lived for months some years before diagnosis without treatment so now why not after diagnosis without treatment.
    Colleen
  • carolenk
    carolenk Member Posts: 907 Member
    #11
    Cafewoman53 said:

    I am crying with you
    I do not cry easily but your words just touched me. Take a deep breath, your Mom may do very well on pallitive care you don't know that things will progress quickly or not. I wish I could do something to help. You are right to scream in frustration but do not give up yet, some of us lived for months some years before diagnosis without treatment so now why not after diagnosis without treatment.
    Colleen

    One of a kind
    Dear Liz

    I agree that you may have more time with your mum than you think. I am really sorry that you know her days are limited and the only good thing I can think of is that your mum knows how much she is loved.
  • eward
    eward Member Posts: 210
    #12
    mom
    The chemo my mom is on is not working either. She has been in chemo for over 2.5 years and I am in bits right now, too. My heart is with yours.
    Eileen
  • cfont11
    cfont11 Member Posts: 115
    #13
    I am so sorry to hear about
    I am so sorry to hear about your Mom. I know this is a difficult time for all of you. This disease is so unfair and there is no answer to why chemo works for one person and not for another. I pray that you will find a clinical trial for her that will help. I know you will stay strong for your mother. She needs you now more than ever.

    Hugs and prayers,

    Chris
  • lovesanimals
    lovesanimals Member Posts: 1,366 Member
    #14
    cfont11 said:

    I am so sorry to hear about
    I am so sorry to hear about your Mom. I know this is a difficult time for all of you. This disease is so unfair and there is no answer to why chemo works for one person and not for another. I pray that you will find a clinical trial for her that will help. I know you will stay strong for your mother. She needs you now more than ever.

    Hugs and prayers,

    Chris

    My heart goes out
    My heart goes out to you and your beloved mom. Sending good thoughts and prayers to her, you, your sister and the rest of your family.

    Kelly
  • EvelynM
    EvelynM Member Posts: 13
    #15
    lovesanimals said:

    My heart goes out
    My heart goes out to you and your beloved mom. Sending good thoughts and prayers to her, you, your sister and the rest of your family.

    Kelly

    Liz, my heart goes out to
    Liz, my heart goes out to you as I know EXACTLY how you feel. My mum was told there was nothing more they could do for her on 5th September - a date I'll never forget. It was the worst day of my life. She asked the consultant "how long" and was told "you're going nowhere soon, it won't be weeks, probably months, but if someone said you'd still be here in a year I'd be very surprised". Well that's nearly 4 months ago and she's still with us. She's not hugely worse than she was back then. Her palliative care consists of pain relief and anti-sickness, with a weekly call or visit from the marie curie nurses. She is free from all the gruelling chemo side effects. Although she is weak, mostly bed-bound, sleeps a fair bit and gets frustrated as hell because she can't do all the things she used to do, she is still able to get up for very short periods and annoy the hell out my dad!. I know the day will come, maybe very soon, that she will start to really deteriorate and I don't think I'm any better prepared for that by knowing her time is limited. It is THE hardest thing to try and keep going as normal. The first few months after the news I hardly left her side as I couldn't help but think she was going to go any time. I know that wasn't healthy for me as I need to keep well to care for her and we now have a better routine going, although I still see her every day, make all her and dad's meals, and smother her with love! I'm not sure how we contact each other on here but if you want to get in touch, please let me know. I feel we have a lot in common. Please keep us posted. We will cope Liz, because we are our mother's daughters. I never thought I'd say this and every day struggle to convince myself, but we will. Thinking of you.... Evelyn xx

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