Post-surgery and the shock of hearing the word "cure". And a philosophical question.

annalexandria

Two weeks ago, I had my fifth surgery in two years. I have a super-funky tumor type that normally never shows up in the colon (it's extremely rare under any circumstances but is usually in the uterus), and the chemos I've tried haven't worked for me at all, so surgery has been my best shot at survival. Surgeons took out one more little tumor in the abdominal cavity and did a complete hysterectomy while they were in the neighborhood. After the surgery was done, the gynecological surgeon said "This may be a cure for you". It really caught me off guard as no one has ever even suggested the possibility of a cure (this same surgeon commented that it was a treat for her to be working with me, as she normally never sees women with my tumor type 2 years post-dx; they aren't still alive at that point). Of course, she quickly followed up with a "Or it could mutate all over the place, we don't know!", so that kind of took the wind out of my sails, but still...having someone suggest that a cure is possible did give me a little burst of hope. The odd thing is that I've spent a lot of time since she said this trying to stamp out the sensation of hoping. My sister died of a weird cancer a year after dx at the age of 44, so I've been operating under the assumption that my longevity won't be great. I just wonder what other folks think...do you avoid letting this kind of hope grow, knowing that you might be proven dramatically wrong? Or do you foster it and hope (dang, that word just keeps slipping in) that things will turn out to be ok, against all odds?
Edit: Emily Dickinson said that hope is the thing with feathers, so perhaps the question to whether to pluck that bird or not!

tommycat

My eyes welled up as I read this.....my God. What a time you are having!!!
As far as "hope"....this quote came immediately to mind.
"There's a surefire way to tell if your purpose here is over. If you're alive, it isn't."
Or something along those lines.
This Board is full of amazing stories. Why not think of yourself as one of them?
Big Hugs!!!!!

annalexandria

tommycat said:

My eyes welled up as I read this.....my God. What a time you are having!!!
As far as "hope"....this quote came immediately to mind.
"There's a surefire way to tell if your purpose here is over. If you're alive, it isn't."
Or something along those lines.
This Board is full of amazing stories. Why not think of yourself as one of them?
Big Hugs!!!!!

I like that quote...
thank you! It inspired me to add one of my own, which is actually from a poem I love, tho I do tend to add my own twist to things.

Annabelle41415

Hope
Now that is a wonderful word with so much power. Take it and run with it

Kim

Sundanceh

Ann
Well, Ann

A shot at curative makes the world go 'round. I hope that is what happens for you.

-Craig

Lovekitties

Good News
So glad that your surgery was successful.

Hope is a marvelous thing and should be a staple for each of us until we take that last breath. It keeps the days from being dark with the "what if's".

Hugs,

Marie who loves kitties

janie1

Sundanceh said:

Ann
Well, Ann

A shot at curative makes the world go 'round. I hope that is what happens for you.

-Craig

I like "while they were in the neighborhood"
Never hurts to take out a little extra, while they're in there. I love surgery. Hang on to good thoughts.

wolfen

Lovekitties said:

Good News
So glad that your surgery was successful.

Hope is a marvelous thing and should be a staple for each of us until we take that last breath. It keeps the days from being dark with the "what if's".

Hugs,

Marie who loves kitties

Never, Never Give up HOPE!
Without it, I would be a lot more crazed with worry than I am now.

Luv,

Wolfen

tanstaafl

bibliophiles
Congratulations on the progress. There are medical papers that show you can "carve" your way to success if the metastasis can be stopped and the surgeons motivated.

Sounds like this is an opportunity for the molecular profiling Snomintj mentioned earlier, where they use fixed pathology samples now. I think that there are two other labs. To me, instead of using expensive, often nasty, -ibs and -abs, one needs to identify natural sources, often foods, vitamins and supplements, to cover the targets identified. Presumably you have great library resources available.

Nutrition seriously counts, juicing, supplements, TCM, and "plain old diet". Especially on chemo.

pete43lost_at_sea

grab hold of any hope and hold it tight
i do, sorry you found us, cure sounds great.

hugs,
pete

smokeyjoe

Annabelle41415 said:

Hope
Now that is a wonderful word with so much power. Take it and run with it

Kim

I would adhere to what
I would adhere to what Annabelle said!!

mom_2_3

Hope
I've found that the doctors I have come across tend to be pragmatic and very level in their responses. They don't sugarcoat things. So if one of them said to me that there was a shot at a cure, I would interpret that as being just that, a shot at a cure, and good news indeed! One of favorite quotes is from Helen Keller. "Turn your face to to sun and you cannot see the shadows." Look at the sun Anna!

I'm so glad your surgery was successful and hope you have a joyous holiday season.

Amy

lauragb

You don't hear doctors say
You don't hear doctors say the "cure" word to often. Grab it and go. When the images of negative outlook appear, give them their brief moment and then clear em out. It sounds like the doctor reflected a healthy image to you.
Sending light,
Laura

herdizziness

OMGosh
What wonderful words, cure and hope, I'm so glad you got to hear "Cure" and happy "hope" stayed with you even when you tried to tell it no. Even when I was told I was hopeless, and I felt hopeless, there was always this little tiny part of me that said "h@ll no, there is always hope". Hope and Cure, two beautiful words.
Winter Marie

annalexandria

tanstaafl said:

bibliophiles
Congratulations on the progress. There are medical papers that show you can "carve" your way to success if the metastasis can be stopped and the surgeons motivated.

Sounds like this is an opportunity for the molecular profiling Snomintj mentioned earlier, where they use fixed pathology samples now. I think that there are two other labs. To me, instead of using expensive, often nasty, -ibs and -abs, one needs to identify natural sources, often foods, vitamins and supplements, to cover the targets identified. Presumably you have great library resources available.

Nutrition seriously counts, juicing, supplements, TCM, and "plain old diet". Especially on chemo.

Heh...
like the holiday imagery of bring "carved", as in roast beef. That's kind of how I feel after all of these surgeries! But seriously, thanks for the ideas. I doubt that I will be doing any more chemo, as the two main possibilities for me didn't work. I did use cimetidine for this last surgery and am thinking about continuing it. Was it your wife who was using that on a regular basis?

annalexandria

mom_2_3 said:

Hope
I've found that the doctors I have come across tend to be pragmatic and very level in their responses. They don't sugarcoat things. So if one of them said to me that there was a shot at a cure, I would interpret that as being just that, a shot at a cure, and good news indeed! One of favorite quotes is from Helen Keller. "Turn your face to to sun and you cannot see the shadows." Look at the sun Anna!

I'm so glad your surgery was successful and hope you have a joyous holiday season.

Amy

You're right!
Thanks for pointing that out. The "hope" expressed by a doctor may be a little more valuable than "layman's hope". Hope you have a wonderful season as well!

annalexandria

lauragb said:

You don't hear doctors say
You don't hear doctors say the "cure" word to often. Grab it and go. When the images of negative outlook appear, give them their brief moment and then clear em out. It sounds like the doctor reflected a healthy image to you.
Sending light,
Laura

Thanks, Laura...
you and Amy pointed something out to me I hadn't considered with respect to doctors. One of the nice things about a forum like this-helps us to see things in a way we might not have otherwise considered! Happy holidays-Ann

smokeyjoe

annalexandria said:

Heh...
like the holiday imagery of bring "carved", as in roast beef. That's kind of how I feel after all of these surgeries! But seriously, thanks for the ideas. I doubt that I will be doing any more chemo, as the two main possibilities for me didn't work. I did use cimetidine for this last surgery and am thinking about continuing it. Was it your wife who was using that on a regular basis?

When I read your post that
When I read your post that you went for surgery my mind wondered if you did the cimetidine before and after, but I didn't want to bring it up, I am glad you brought it up. Did you run it by your doctors ahead of time?? What was their response?

annalexandria

smokeyjoe said:

When I read your post that
When I read your post that you went for surgery my mind wondered if you did the cimetidine before and after, but I didn't want to bring it up, I am glad you brought it up. Did you run it by your doctors ahead of time?? What was their response?

I did talk with my surgeon...
and he had never heard of it, but thought it sounded interesting and worth a try. I wasn't able to get the post-surgical IV that was used in the study, however; my doc checked on that and said it's not made anymore. So I choked down the pills three times a day. I did later learn that there is a liquid version that might be better, especially if a patient had a resection done (my surgery didn't involve the intestines this time, so I was able to eat and swallow pills a lot sooner than in previous surgeries). Do you have surgery coming up?

annalexandria

pete43lost_at_sea said:

grab hold of any hope and hold it tight
i do, sorry you found us, cure sounds great.

hugs,
pete

Thanks, Pete-
I've read many of your posts and you are truly an inspiration!

annalexandria

herdizziness said:

OMGosh
What wonderful words, cure and hope, I'm so glad you got to hear "Cure" and happy "hope" stayed with you even when you tried to tell it no. Even when I was told I was hopeless, and I felt hopeless, there was always this little tiny part of me that said "h@ll no, there is always hope". Hope and Cure, two beautiful words.
Winter Marie

Thanks, Winter Marie-
and I have to say you certainly don't sound "hopeless" to me! You're still here and posting, supporting other folks, seems like the definition of hope IMO.