I just joined this site and so glad there is one that exists. My mom was diagnosed on oct 14th with matastic coleteral cancer. I was by her side at the hospital from day one. We both cried when she was told, it was such a shock to us both and my family. She spent two weeks in the hospital undergoing tests and then a surgical procedure that would provide a little relief. It wasn't successful they found the cancer had fused together her lower intestine and her stomach. So upon discussion with the doctors and myself, she opted out of chemo treatments and is spending her remaining time under hospice care in my home with my family beside her. So I am now her primary caregiver through all this. It is now a month and a week later and she is declining much faster then I had ever thought she would. I am prepared for her passing but it is so hard to do everything for her and my household at times. I try not to let my emotions get to me, I am a strong person and have been told by many people that I am through all her care. But I know I will be seeking therapy after all this because I will have such a hard time adjusting to her absence for the rest of my life. She is my best friend and it breaks my heart to see my mom go through this knowing she will never be here to see my children and her grandchildren grow up. She has always been there for my family and I and now life without her is so unreal to me. I know she is dying and I know it will be sooner then I wanted to see her go, but I hope that she passes the way she told me she wants too. Pain free and in her sleep. Is there anyone else who is going through a tough time with there loved one , and if so how is it working for you?