Crushed dreams-maybe surrogacy???

Just found that my ABVD treatment I received five years ago has given me arrhythmias and cardiomyopathy and that I will not be strong enough to carry a baby. My autoimmune clotting condition just adds to this along with my terrible thyroid. I use to think my cancer was a blessing in disguise and it showed me how strong I am but I now feel defeated. All I ever wanted was to be a cute pregnant girl and a good mommy. I know adoption is an option but I am not wild about it. My OB suggested I look into finding a surrogate mother, but I can't help but think I am going to pay $100,000 to 'rent a womb' and then what if something happens to the child? Car accident, cancer, genetic disease etc..... Anyone use surrogacy to deal with infertility? I am so annoyed with my doctor who ignored my symptoms and guess what she got voted one of the best doctors in my town!!!


  • nempark
    nempark Member Posts: 681
    You are blessed
    My darling: I can never imagine how you feel, but I know you are blessed to be able to be a survivor. May God bless you and grant you peace and endurance to deal with your situation. As for your Doc. time will tell. Be well! j
  • allmost60
    allmost60 Member Posts: 3,178 Member
    Makes me sad...
    Hi Donna,
    Reading your story makes me sad and once again reminds us how cruel this dang cancer can be. Give yourself a little time to get past being angry and then maybe the thoughts of adoption or surrogacy will be easier to think about. I don't know anything about surrogacy, but if you should decide to do it, don't think negative thoughts about the "what if's"...there are no guarantees in life no matter which way you go. It's all in Gods hands anyways. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Love...Sue (FNHL-2-3A-6/10)
  • anliperez915
    anliperez915 Member Posts: 770
    Hi Donna
    Donna I'm really sorry to hear about your condition, I can't even imagine how you're feeling! Only with time will you get past the anger, I relate to you about the Dr. situation, my Dr. didn't tell me about my cancer and I already had a year with it and guess what she was also got recognized as being a great doc huh confused here.! We have to deal with our different situations the best way we can. I'm going to pray for you that you make the best decision for yourself and hubby. xoxo

  • pmacphee
    pmacphee Member Posts: 1
    Surrogacy & Cancer-related infertility
    Hello Donna.
    I'm so sorry you are struggling now with infertility after beating cancer. I was a surrogate for my cousin's wife, a survivor of cervical cancer, who could not carry a baby due to radiation treatment. Though she mourned the loss of carrying a baby herself, and surrogacy was obviously not the way she dreamed of welcoming her baby into the world, in the end when her baby girl was born she was overwhelmed with happiness. She has two beautiful school-age children now born through surrogacy, and I know that she and my cousin are very, very happy. I hope that whether you choose adoption or surrogacy, you find the path that is right for you to building a beautiful family. If you want to know more about surrogacy and gain some understanding of the intended parents relationship with a surrogate, you may want to talk to a family counselor who specializes in third party reproduction and also take a look at my book as a resource. I wrote my book "Delivering Hope" ( for intended parents and surrogates to gain insight into the surrogacy process and relationship and prepare you for a mutually fulfilling journey.
    Best wishes to you in finding your path to become a mom. Feel free to contact me directly if I can answer any questions for you. Take care.