New Cancer patient

sukichu61832

New Cancer Patient
I am sorry to hear about your diagnosis and I understand what you are going through. The cancer diagnosis knocks you off your feet, and surviving becomes your focus. I was diagnosed with left tonsil cancer on 09/09/11, with node involvement. I was not prepared to make all the decisions I had to make regarding treatment. Had surgery on 10/4. Every physician will have an opinion as to how your treatment should proceed. I had several "second opinions" but chose to have the robotic surgery to remove the tonsil. They also biopsied the tongue, right tonsil, pallet etc. I also opted for the neck dissection at the same time. They removed 36 nodes, only one was involved. I opted for the surgery (yes, it was rough for a month) because I did not want the chemo. The surgeon did recommended radiation - lower dose - only on the left side which I start today. I read a lot, but stayed away from anything negative. I also asked my primary for anti-depressants which helped tremendously. You can't make good decisions if you are crying all the time ! Just try to take it one day at a time, and get second opinions when you are having trouble making a decision. Thank God, we "get" to have treatment to save our lives. My prayers are with you.

connieprice1

CrazyMom, Like you my wife's
CrazyMom, Like you my wife's diagnosis was scc. We were both scared to death when she started chemo treatment day after Thanksgiving last year. She was blessed and so are you to be treated at MD Anderson. Great doctors, nurses, technicians, you will have a team of doctors to help you every step of the way. Their will be a lot of ups and downs but it is worth it to get well and see your kids grow up and return to your normal life again. Just take treatment one day at a time. After Connie's 1st chemo treatment her two enlarged lymph nodes shrunk back to normal size in about 10 days. Of course more treatments were necessary followed by radiation but the light will get bigger at the end of the tunnel everyday. Connie still needs to regain some lost weight but she WILL get there it just takes time. Everyone is different and hopefully you will do well. The people on this discussion board will help you every step of the way. God has sent you angels that will make your journey easier and they are right here at CSN. Goodluck and keep posting, we will all be here anytime you have a question. Wishing you the BEST, Homer & Connie

Patti678

welcome
Hi Crazy Mom-

Welcome to the site and I'm terribly sorry for the cancer that brought you here. Everyone here has helped me so much with the physical issues I had as a result of my thyroid and neck lymph node cancer. I had my thyroid and 59 lymph nodes removed as well as a modified radical neck dissection.

Ask any and all questions you need answers to and you will get answers. And it's nice to have people to talk to who have gone through the same things you will go through.

Rely on your family and friends to love you and support you. Don't be afraid to show them you are vunerable and need their shoulders to cry on. And remember that time heals all wounds. Give time, time.

Take care-Patti

Hondo

sukichu61832 said:

New Cancer Patient
I am sorry to hear about your diagnosis and I understand what you are going through. The cancer diagnosis knocks you off your feet, and surviving becomes your focus. I was diagnosed with left tonsil cancer on 09/09/11, with node involvement. I was not prepared to make all the decisions I had to make regarding treatment. Had surgery on 10/4. Every physician will have an opinion as to how your treatment should proceed. I had several "second opinions" but chose to have the robotic surgery to remove the tonsil. They also biopsied the tongue, right tonsil, pallet etc. I also opted for the neck dissection at the same time. They removed 36 nodes, only one was involved. I opted for the surgery (yes, it was rough for a month) because I did not want the chemo. The surgeon did recommended radiation - lower dose - only on the left side which I start today. I read a lot, but stayed away from anything negative. I also asked my primary for anti-depressants which helped tremendously. You can't make good decisions if you are crying all the time ! Just try to take it one day at a time, and get second opinions when you are having trouble making a decision. Thank God, we "get" to have treatment to save our lives. My prayers are with you.

sukichu61832
I just like to welcome you here to CSN, sorry you have this stuff but you have found the right place for help and support.

Wishing you are the best
Hondo

Crazymom

KTeacher said:

Welcome to the site
Mom, Crazy--we get that way from our children! Sorry to be meeting you here but this site is great for support and information. You are right, it will not be fun for the next few months but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Try to enjoy your family during the holidays. Call in the troops. Your husband will be busy being a caregiver and a mom! He will do fine. I know kids at that age are busy, find other parents that can help with rides to activities or maybe just schedule playdates during the long cold winter days. Be honest with your kids, not easy, but they need to know. Do you have grandparents that might be able to help? Sweet has a superthread that pops up weekly, do not post on that site. The information will help you be prepared. I did not find this site until after my first treatment, wish I knew about it sooner.

How are you doing?
What long term side effects have you had?

KTeacher

Crazymom said:

How are you doing?
What long term side effects have you had?

Well
I had a great Thanksgiving meal, mostly my mom's recipes. Luckily my daughter-in-law can make gravey, my mom is gone and my mother-in-law passed away last February and I can't make gravey. Everything tasted so good, as good as I can taste! Pumpkin pie wasn't so great, but everything else was. Last Tuesday I had the 'little bump in the road' removed.
About 4 weeks ago a bump, lump showed up on scar. Needle biopsy was not conclusive so opted to have it removed, I should have path report by next Friday. I live 2 1/2 haours away from Stanford so my doctor or his nurse will call me. We are hoping that the stitches that were supposed to dissolve just didn't and that is what is causing the inflammation. I return to work in the morning. I teach Kindergarten. Hopefully none of the little germies that the kids carry get me, I did well last year. I wash my hands often
and Kleenex is available in my room.

Oops, got off topic. From the end of my last treatment until surgery in July I had pretty good saliva--surgery in July took care of that, one salivary gland removed and more radiation. I am dry but some function is coming back. I do sleep through the night without any problem now. Neck is not as stiff as it was after the dissection. Skin is still dry in the radiated area. Lips are always dry, I have many products handy--purse, pocket, drawer. . . Can't spit, but I shouldn't do that anyway. Don't lick envelopes. A few sounds don't come out right, I just repeat myself until understood. I can't sing, but I never could anyway!

Prayers to you and your family. You will get through this. Not fun but doable. So glad you have our CSN friends to help get you through.

ekdennie

a mom's strength
Hi Crazy Mom...I was diagnosed last year with Mucoepidermoid Carcinoma (salivary gland cancer) on my hard palate. As you are very new here, welcome...I am sorry you had to come here, but this is a great source of information and connection through what can only be described as a tough time heading your way. Just as each individual on here are unique, everyone's cancer and thus their treatments are unique. What you read on here will help give you an idea of what some people have gone through, but there are always exceptions, and it never hurts to hope that your course of treatment will be easier. regardless of if you have surgery, radiation, or chemo...it is a rocky road that you are about to start on. you will have great days, you will have bad days. you will have days where you will look at your kids and just want to cry, where you wonder, "why is this happening to me and my family"...those are all normal responses. I was diagnosed when my youngest was 4 months old and my oldest was about to begin pre-k. I had three very young children who needed me, but there were some days where it took all of my energy to get out of bed just to go to the bathroom...yet every day...regardless of how I was feeling, I got out of bed and packed my son's lunch and gave him a huge hug...then I would get up again when he came home to find out about his day...then I would go back to bed. my mom moved in when I was undergoing radiation...I was put on morphine and didn't feel like my children would be safe without someone to watch them during the day. My husband was a great source of strength, taking over a lot of my regular duties, but I made sure to give good morning hugs and kisses and bed time hugs and kisses every night...no matter how I was feeling...even the day I came home from having my tumor removed. my kids watched a lot of tv with me, and did a lot of coloring on the floor next to my bed.
Even with my children being so very young I explained to them about everything that was happening and that I would get very tired, that it would be hard for me to eat or drink and that I might need more mom time than normal. I decided up front what I wanted them to see and what I didn't want them to remember. I chose to show them when I was in pain, but not when I was depressed. I didn't want them to remember me crying, but my smiling through the pain. The hardest part of the up coming weeks will be what I refer to as the "hurry up and wait". it is where you rush around to have all of this testing done, you want things to go fast...and yet you will spend a lot of time waiting. waiting for test results, waiting to find out what courses of treatment the doctor or doctors feel is appropriate and then if you have surgery, then you have to wait until you are healed enough for any other treatments, then if they feel you need a PET scan after you have finished treatments, then you have to wait for that as well. although it is frustrating, the waiting is important to make sure you get the best treatment possible. you must have faith in your doctors and in the treatment plan to help aid your recovery.
you may have cancer, but cancer does not have to have you. you are strong, even when you feel weak. you are a woman and a mom...as such you have a core of strength that most never have to access, but it is there. it is there every time you bandage a boo boo on one of your kids, it is there when you watch your children cry and you wish you could ease their pain, it is there when you stand firm in your wishes despite the cute pleas from your kids.
I wish for you all the strength you need to fight, the strength you want to be the mom you want to be during this time, and the strength for both you and your husband that you can be the partners that each other need during this time.
Sending you huge hugs...we all need them some times!
elizabeth

Joel4

ekdennie said:

a mom's strength
Hi Crazy Mom...I was diagnosed last year with Mucoepidermoid Carcinoma (salivary gland cancer) on my hard palate. As you are very new here, welcome...I am sorry you had to come here, but this is a great source of information and connection through what can only be described as a tough time heading your way. Just as each individual on here are unique, everyone's cancer and thus their treatments are unique. What you read on here will help give you an idea of what some people have gone through, but there are always exceptions, and it never hurts to hope that your course of treatment will be easier. regardless of if you have surgery, radiation, or chemo...it is a rocky road that you are about to start on. you will have great days, you will have bad days. you will have days where you will look at your kids and just want to cry, where you wonder, "why is this happening to me and my family"...those are all normal responses. I was diagnosed when my youngest was 4 months old and my oldest was about to begin pre-k. I had three very young children who needed me, but there were some days where it took all of my energy to get out of bed just to go to the bathroom...yet every day...regardless of how I was feeling, I got out of bed and packed my son's lunch and gave him a huge hug...then I would get up again when he came home to find out about his day...then I would go back to bed. my mom moved in when I was undergoing radiation...I was put on morphine and didn't feel like my children would be safe without someone to watch them during the day. My husband was a great source of strength, taking over a lot of my regular duties, but I made sure to give good morning hugs and kisses and bed time hugs and kisses every night...no matter how I was feeling...even the day I came home from having my tumor removed. my kids watched a lot of tv with me, and did a lot of coloring on the floor next to my bed.
Even with my children being so very young I explained to them about everything that was happening and that I would get very tired, that it would be hard for me to eat or drink and that I might need more mom time than normal. I decided up front what I wanted them to see and what I didn't want them to remember. I chose to show them when I was in pain, but not when I was depressed. I didn't want them to remember me crying, but my smiling through the pain. The hardest part of the up coming weeks will be what I refer to as the "hurry up and wait". it is where you rush around to have all of this testing done, you want things to go fast...and yet you will spend a lot of time waiting. waiting for test results, waiting to find out what courses of treatment the doctor or doctors feel is appropriate and then if you have surgery, then you have to wait until you are healed enough for any other treatments, then if they feel you need a PET scan after you have finished treatments, then you have to wait for that as well. although it is frustrating, the waiting is important to make sure you get the best treatment possible. you must have faith in your doctors and in the treatment plan to help aid your recovery.
you may have cancer, but cancer does not have to have you. you are strong, even when you feel weak. you are a woman and a mom...as such you have a core of strength that most never have to access, but it is there. it is there every time you bandage a boo boo on one of your kids, it is there when you watch your children cry and you wish you could ease their pain, it is there when you stand firm in your wishes despite the cute pleas from your kids.
I wish for you all the strength you need to fight, the strength you want to be the mom you want to be during this time, and the strength for both you and your husband that you can be the partners that each other need during this time.
Sending you huge hugs...we all need them some times!
elizabeth

Crazymom
Hi Crazymom, so sorry that you have to be going through all of this but you will make it. In April 2010 I was diagnosed with SCC unknown primary after a single enlarged lymp node was found in my neck.
I had surgery with plans to do rads following surgery but things looked so good following surgery that we decided to forgo any further treatment.
Over a year and a half later I am healthy and feeling blessed. Sometimes primaries are unknown because they are gone.
Faith in God got me through this so I'm praying for you.

pattyanny

Joel4 said:

Crazymom
Hi Crazymom, so sorry that you have to be going through all of this but you will make it. In April 2010 I was diagnosed with SCC unknown primary after a single enlarged lymp node was found in my neck.
I had surgery with plans to do rads following surgery but things looked so good following surgery that we decided to forgo any further treatment.
Over a year and a half later I am healthy and feeling blessed. Sometimes primaries are unknown because they are gone.
Faith in God got me through this so I'm praying for you.

Wow!
Sorry Crazymom, but as Joel4 said you will make it. Stay strong & come back here for info & support! It is the best place to be as you can see from all the good people who comment on your post.
Joel4 - you blew me away! "Sometimes primaries are unknown because they are gone." Wow!I just posted a new post here with that question, and have been praying on it. I believe you are right. Thank you for those words. God bless you and your family with continue health.
Crazymom - prayers for you! Keep posting!
Love & Prayers,
Patty