Help, we are at the end of the road

slg
slg Member Posts: 200
in Liver Cancer #1
I am so sorry to have to make this post. We have been fighting this liver cancer for two years now. What an up and down road this has been. After being told a month ago for my husband to go work on his Bucket List and live his life we came home to re-group we started visiting other options. Today our bubble was burst yet again. They basically told us he had had all the treatments that he can take and that his liver is pretty well shot. We were told in a much nicer and compationate way today than last month in Kansas but it still hurts so much. We are at a loss right now and really don't know what to do. I am hoping some of you caregivers who have lost their loved ones can help me with any advice to help during this terrible time in our lives. I am scared for him and scared for myself. I don't know how to live without him. We would be married 40 years in April and now I don't know if he will even be here for it..

Comments

  • SarahD
    SarahD Member Posts: 139
    #2
    Deeply sorry
    I lost my dad to HCC september 12th 2011 and i understand what you are going through. My dad was 55 never sick a day in his life extremly healthy and hard working he fought it like crazy with a resection, multiple clinical trials and ablations, multiple stenting of his ducts ect. But nothing seemed to work the cancer just came back and kept growing and spreading :( The last month was the worst, hearing those "nothing left to offer" words. Transitioning from full care to home on hospice and watching someone who was once so strong and invincable take that last breath....nothing will prepare you. I am sorry to sound so grim I am just being honest. I know the love of a husband and a father are completly different but they are both very strong. I love my dad dearly we were extremly close, he was all I had. I felt the same way " How will I live without him?" I never went one day without talking to him. I just had a baby how could he leave me now? How could this happen? How can there be NOTHING that can help? so many thoughts but never any answers. My only advice is to do what your husband wants. If he wants to fight to the very end then support him if he wants to be comfortable...support him. Make sure YOU have PLENTY of support around you because you can not do it alone. PLease write me anytime you need to. Thoughts and prayers your way :)
  • slg
    slg Member Posts: 200
    #3
    SarahD said:

    Deeply sorry
    I lost my dad to HCC september 12th 2011 and i understand what you are going through. My dad was 55 never sick a day in his life extremly healthy and hard working he fought it like crazy with a resection, multiple clinical trials and ablations, multiple stenting of his ducts ect. But nothing seemed to work the cancer just came back and kept growing and spreading :( The last month was the worst, hearing those "nothing left to offer" words. Transitioning from full care to home on hospice and watching someone who was once so strong and invincable take that last breath....nothing will prepare you. I am sorry to sound so grim I am just being honest. I know the love of a husband and a father are completly different but they are both very strong. I love my dad dearly we were extremly close, he was all I had. I felt the same way " How will I live without him?" I never went one day without talking to him. I just had a baby how could he leave me now? How could this happen? How can there be NOTHING that can help? so many thoughts but never any answers. My only advice is to do what your husband wants. If he wants to fight to the very end then support him if he wants to be comfortable...support him. Make sure YOU have PLENTY of support around you because you can not do it alone. PLease write me anytime you need to. Thoughts and prayers your way :)

    Thank you Sarah D for your
    Thank you Sarah D for your kind words. You know how hard this is as do so many others. I am trying the best I can to keep it together and fulfill his many wishes and enjoy and take advantage of our time. These holidays are going to be hard since they will probably be his last. He is going to try to hang on so that he can walk our youngest daughter downt he isle in August. I hope he can.
  • jesus10
    jesus10 Member Posts: 3
    #4
    Liver Cancer
    I just want to say I lost my mom a little over two years ago.she was 61 years old. I never thought in a million years I would lose her this early. She had breast cancer since 2005 and then one day she woke up sick and it had spread to her brain and spine. She was fighter to the end but I Knew it was over. It was the hardest thing I ever went through. It was hard watching her suffer to the end but I had to put my faith in the lord and he saw me through even though I thought I was going to lose my mind. It will never be easy but I do know that I believe in Jesus as my savior and I know that I will see her again someday.

    My father-law was just diagnosed with stage 4 liver cancer. He never even knew he had liver cancer. He just got sick about one month ago. My mother law is taking it pretty hard and I am not sure if there is anything they can do for him.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you. Sometimes no matter what the out come is whether it is good or bad prayer is the only thing we have to get us through.
  • Lizystar
    Lizystar Member Posts: 17
    #5
    SarahD said:

    Deeply sorry
    I lost my dad to HCC september 12th 2011 and i understand what you are going through. My dad was 55 never sick a day in his life extremly healthy and hard working he fought it like crazy with a resection, multiple clinical trials and ablations, multiple stenting of his ducts ect. But nothing seemed to work the cancer just came back and kept growing and spreading :( The last month was the worst, hearing those "nothing left to offer" words. Transitioning from full care to home on hospice and watching someone who was once so strong and invincable take that last breath....nothing will prepare you. I am sorry to sound so grim I am just being honest. I know the love of a husband and a father are completly different but they are both very strong. I love my dad dearly we were extremly close, he was all I had. I felt the same way " How will I live without him?" I never went one day without talking to him. I just had a baby how could he leave me now? How could this happen? How can there be NOTHING that can help? so many thoughts but never any answers. My only advice is to do what your husband wants. If he wants to fight to the very end then support him if he wants to be comfortable...support him. Make sure YOU have PLENTY of support around you because you can not do it alone. PLease write me anytime you need to. Thoughts and prayers your way :)

    Sarah,
    My dad was just
    Sarah,

    My dad was just diagnosed with advanced liver cancer. He was just started on a drug called Nexavar. The prognosis is not good and I was hoping that you could share some insight on the clinical trials that your father enrolled in. Was your father able to test a procedure called Therasphere? I hope you do not feel this is an intrusion, I just feel desperate for some home. I spent the day researching and calling hospitals around the country only to be rejected over and over. I am so scared and so sad. Like you my father is all that I have.

    Thank you so much for your time!

    Lizy
  • SarahD
    SarahD Member Posts: 139
    #6
    jesus10 said:

    Liver Cancer
    I just want to say I lost my mom a little over two years ago.she was 61 years old. I never thought in a million years I would lose her this early. She had breast cancer since 2005 and then one day she woke up sick and it had spread to her brain and spine. She was fighter to the end but I Knew it was over. It was the hardest thing I ever went through. It was hard watching her suffer to the end but I had to put my faith in the lord and he saw me through even though I thought I was going to lose my mind. It will never be easy but I do know that I believe in Jesus as my savior and I know that I will see her again someday.

    My father-law was just diagnosed with stage 4 liver cancer. He never even knew he had liver cancer. He just got sick about one month ago. My mother law is taking it pretty hard and I am not sure if there is anything they can do for him.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you. Sometimes no matter what the out come is whether it is good or bad prayer is the only thing we have to get us through.

    lizzy
    My dad tried a clinical trial involving nexevar first and that failed as evedenced by disease progression he then tried iv chemo called gemzar avastin and oxaliplatin and that seemed to stabalize him for some time he couldnt have therasperes he had to many mets which party of the country do you live? be persistant dont let anyone turn you away or crush your hope good luck :)
  • Lizystar
    Lizystar Member Posts: 17
    #7
    SarahD said:

    lizzy
    My dad tried a clinical trial involving nexevar first and that failed as evedenced by disease progression he then tried iv chemo called gemzar avastin and oxaliplatin and that seemed to stabalize him for some time he couldnt have therasperes he had to many mets which party of the country do you live? be persistant dont let anyone turn you away or crush your hope good luck :)

    Sarah
    Thank you so much for your response. I live in Arizona. Would love to talk to you if you are free. My email is Lizy@BLalliance.com and my number is 480-593-4510

    Thank you so much!

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