My 90 y/o grandmother.

crashley87

Hello all, I am writing to hopefully get some answers. I am looking after my 90 year old grandmother that has a cancerous tumor in her parotid gland & 1 lymph node. She has been healthy up until about two months ago when she found out that it was cancer. At her age surgery is not an option because her heart is only working at 32%. Her treatment plan was to have 4 weeks of radiation. We live 30 miles away from the cancer center so it was a long ride for her as well as it being every day. Throughout the past 2 weeks she has missed acouple appts, because of her being so weak an unable to get out of bed. untill just last week she decided she was not going back to do anymore radiation because of the horrible pain she was in. She has alot of mouth sores, her taste buds are gone,fatigue and she is having reccurent headaches, she doesnt sleep well at night she is up and down all the time. I am writitng to try to get some advise so i can help her. I am 24 years old and my whole life my grandmother has been there for me, there isnt a time in my life that i can remeber that i could call on her and she would be right there. I love my grandmother to peices and i dont like seeing her like this. So if anyone could help me out with some remeides on mouth sores,not having an appeite( i thought about blending her food so it would be better for her to chew,but she just doesnt have the want for anything)and she weighs only 112LBs in the beginning so i can only imagine what she weighs now. She has always been a happy person but now she is having issues with depression( saying" i dont know why god has done this to me, what did i do to deserve this"). I just want to help her in any way i can. She also has not been back to the doctor in over a week and half, so any advise on how i can get her to go back down there or help her get the strength. Thanks in advance to anyone who reads this, like i said anything would be helpful!!

Sincerly,
A worried granddaughter

osmotar

Hi
First of all welcome, this site is a welath of knowledge. What I find best for my mouth is using biotene products, toothpaste, spray, gum, mouth wash. I also swish my mouth several , at least 4-6 times per day with a mixture of baking soda, salt, and room temp water. I put it all in a 16.9 oz water bottle. It seems to have worked for me, there are others on this site who can recommend what has worked for them. The biggest thing is to make sure she stays hydrated, from the start of my chemo in Aug 2011, to my current radiation treatments I still drink 3 qts of water a day, I never count any other fluid intake into that 3 qts. No appetite is a side effect, but she has to eat, I know it's difficult, but will she drink anything like boost or ensure, milk shakes,smoothies, she can sip those. I would contact her doctor about the other issues she is having.

Please tell her she is not alone in this journey, give her a big hug.

Linda

tonyb

Tell her doctor, the
Tell her doctor, the doctors need to know her symptoms and the severity of them.
they have stuff to counter the pain and all the other things, but they have to know. Next up your grandmother is gotta try what they say. All of those symptoms are common and the doctors know how to counter them. You gotta know that she is in a tough fight, and she may feel like giving up at times, but don't let her quit. Grandmothers are far to valuable, to give up on.
Tony b.

longtermsurvivor

Hi Crashley
It is very difficult to balance the risks against the benefits of these interventions, when advanced age or other significant medical disability makes people less than ideal candidates for these very significant treatments. It is a given she will not survive if she is not treated. It is also possible she will not survive the treatment itself. Obviously, to continue with treatment or not is ultimately going to be her decision. It seems to me a frank rediscussion of things is in order with her treatment team. I'm sorry this is so hard, but there is no easierpath through this.

My best to you and your grandmother.

Hondo

Hi crashley
Wow 90 years young I take my hat off to your grandmother, what a blessing she must be. At her age you need to stay in contact with her doctor about what she needs to be doing, and what problems she is having daily. Does she have a PEG tube as this will help to keep weight on her and not have to eat through her mouth until treatment is finished. I use a stuff call Stoppers 4 at night for mouth dryness, it works great for me. Also there is a site here call SUPERTHRED you will find a lot of good helpful information on for diffrent problems.

On depression just hold her and keep loving her, that is what I need the most when I get depressed, my wife sometimes just runs her fingers through my hair while holding me. Also tell her God is not the one doing this; it is because we live in a world of sin but someday very soon all this sin will be taking away and we will live in a home where there is no Sin, no sickness, no pain, and no cancer.

God bless and keep you both, Also welcome to the Family here on CSN
Hondo

buzz99

Worried granddaughter
It must be heart breaking to see your Grandmother suffering so. I have to wonder if the treatment is crueler than the disease. It is not uncommon to opt out of treatment if the treatment is causing such suffering. Does your grandmother know that she does not have to have treatment? It would probably wise to talk to the doctor about risk vs benefits. Her comfort should be paramount. Regards, Karen

tesa

buzz99 said:

Worried granddaughter
It must be heart breaking to see your Grandmother suffering so. I have to wonder if the treatment is crueler than the disease. It is not uncommon to opt out of treatment if the treatment is causing such suffering. Does your grandmother know that she does not have to have treatment? It would probably wise to talk to the doctor about risk vs benefits. Her comfort should be paramount. Regards, Karen

My mother is 84 years old
My mother is 84 years old and currently undergoing reirradiation for parannasal cancer. Have you tried giving her ensure to drink. Also smoothies might be helpful. The doctors can prescribe anti-depressants to help with the drepression. I would ask them about that.
Keep praying.