this disease sucks !

Cafewoman53

Even if the news is not terrible there is no way to share it with my family without freaking them out ! I just got my ct/pet scan result in the mail and I only understand half of it but know enough to know there is progression and will need further treatment.
I just want someone to lie to me and tell me it will be alright, but that would come with the cost of making them sad and scared and that will only make me feel worse.
When I meet with the Dr I will feel better for at least knowing what is the next step. I just love the holidays and hope the treatment is not too harsh. thanks for being the proverbial shoulder for me to cry on.
I have yet to meet the elusive ned but cannot complain as my original chemo got my ca125 down to 1 at one point so as long as the chemo continues to work I have to be satisfied with that. There are so many women who are dealing with so much more than me.
When I was first diagnosed I tried to be realistic and figured that I would probably last about three years, I would love to be proven wrong but can accept this is it happens
The women here and there stories keep me going everyday, thank-you for that. I will let you know when I see the Dr. what the next step is.
Colleen

poopergirl14052

sucks beyond sucks
I am truly sorry about you scans and progression. When will you see the Doctor? Where does the scan show progression? I hope your tx will finally get you to ned....val

jbeans888

Colleen,
I totally
Colleen,
I totally understand how you feel. I tell everyone that sometimes ignorance is bliss, but we have to face the facts in the real world. I too love the holidays. Try your best to focus on them and remember to enjoy them. Keep up the fight

Mwee

sometimes ignorance would be bliss but.....
I hope your new treatment will be tolerable and we'll be waiting to hear what it will be. I love the holidays also and if they have to be altered this year, I know you'll make them work.
(((HUGS))) Maria

PS... I was at this same point three holiday seasons ago and I'm still here, ready to party.

AnneBehymer

In my prays
Colleen,

As with all the ladies on this site you are in my prays you will dance with NED and we will be here to rejoice with you. Keep up the fight I think sometimes that is what keeps us going the fight. Please keep us informed on what is next so we can be praying for you each step of the ways.

Hugs
Anne

jadav1956

AnneBehymer said:

In my prays
Colleen,

As with all the ladies on this site you are in my prays you will dance with NED and we will be here to rejoice with you. Keep up the fight I think sometimes that is what keeps us going the fight. Please keep us informed on what is next so we can be praying for you each step of the ways.

Hugs
Anne

I agree 100 %. Yes this
I agree 100 %. Yes this stupid disease sucks !!! But we deal with it daily and we can overcome it if only one day at a time. I love the holidays as well. I plan to celebrate this year like no other. I love being with family and friends who support me, and those on those board do so every day whether they know it or not.I always find info that keeps me up, makes me laugh, and cry. We really are a close knit bunch. Prayers and support are with you every day. Keep on keeping on !!! Hang in there teal warrior. We are with you- Jackie

jadav1956

AnneBehymer said:

In my prays
Colleen,

As with all the ladies on this site you are in my prays you will dance with NED and we will be here to rejoice with you. Keep up the fight I think sometimes that is what keeps us going the fight. Please keep us informed on what is next so we can be praying for you each step of the ways.

Hugs
Anne

I agree 100 %. Yes this
I agree 100 %. Yes this stupid disease sucks !!! But we deal with it daily and we can overcome it if only one day at a time. I love the holidays as well. I plan to celebrate this year like no other. I love being with family and friends who support me, and those on those board do so every day whether they know it or not.I always find info that keeps me up, makes me laugh, and cry. We really are a close knit bunch. Prayers and support are with you every day. Keep on keeping on !!! Hang in there teal warrior. We are with you- Jackie

jadav1956

AnneBehymer said:

In my prays
Colleen,

As with all the ladies on this site you are in my prays you will dance with NED and we will be here to rejoice with you. Keep up the fight I think sometimes that is what keeps us going the fight. Please keep us informed on what is next so we can be praying for you each step of the ways.

Hugs
Anne

I agree 100 %. Yes this
I agree 100 %. Yes this stupid disease sucks !!! But we deal with it daily and we can overcome it if only one day at a time. I love the holidays as well. I plan to celebrate this year like no other. I love being with family and friends who support me, and those on those board do so every day whether they know it or not.I always find info that keeps me up, makes me laugh, and cry. We really are a close knit bunch. Prayers and support are with you every day. Keep on keeping on !!! Hang in there teal warrior. We are with you- Jackie

jadav1956

AnneBehymer said:

In my prays
Colleen,

As with all the ladies on this site you are in my prays you will dance with NED and we will be here to rejoice with you. Keep up the fight I think sometimes that is what keeps us going the fight. Please keep us informed on what is next so we can be praying for you each step of the ways.

Hugs
Anne

I agree 100 %. Yes this
I agree 100 %. Yes this stupid disease sucks !!! But we deal with it daily and we can overcome it if only one day at a time. I love the holidays as well. I plan to celebrate this year like no other. I love being with family and friends who support me, and those on those board do so every day whether they know it or not.I always find info that keeps me up, makes me laugh, and cry. We really are a close knit bunch. Prayers and support are with you every day. Keep on keeping on !!! Hang in there teal warrior. We are with you- Jackie

jadav1956

jadav1956 said:

I agree 100 %. Yes this
I agree 100 %. Yes this stupid disease sucks !!! But we deal with it daily and we can overcome it if only one day at a time. I love the holidays as well. I plan to celebrate this year like no other. I love being with family and friends who support me, and those on those board do so every day whether they know it or not.I always find info that keeps me up, makes me laugh, and cry. We really are a close knit bunch. Prayers and support are with you every day. Keep on keeping on !!! Hang in there teal warrior. We are with you- Jackie

oops sorry

oops sorry

kikz

jadav1956 said:

oops sorry

oops sorry

It is hard enough to deal with the disease
but we also have to try to protect our families. I sincerely hope you get better news when you see your doctor. I too love the holidays. Last year at this time I had finished treatment and was anxiously awaiting the holidays when our hall bathroom flooded. All of our stuff was put into storage and the floors and three feet (from floor) of the walls had to be cut out and replaced. We had Thanksgiving at a restaurant and although we had Christmas at home, I didn't get to decorate and we didn't have a tree. It was disppointing but in the grand scheme of things no big deal. I was glad to be alive. This year we will have a tree and I will decorate to the hilt.

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Karen

Cafewoman53

kikz said:

It is hard enough to deal with the disease
but we also have to try to protect our families. I sincerely hope you get better news when you see your doctor. I too love the holidays. Last year at this time I had finished treatment and was anxiously awaiting the holidays when our hall bathroom flooded. All of our stuff was put into storage and the floors and three feet (from floor) of the walls had to be cut out and replaced. We had Thanksgiving at a restaurant and although we had Christmas at home, I didn't get to decorate and we didn't have a tree. It was disppointing but in the grand scheme of things no big deal. I was glad to be alive. This year we will have a tree and I will decorate to the hilt.

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Karen

Wow
Karen your post was an eyeopener , life goes on whether we have good or bad scans ,in treatment or out. I'm sure you made it work as Maria said I will. I hope you have a truly peaceful holiday this year ! Thanks
Colleen

Cafewoman53

poopergirl14052 said:

sucks beyond sucks
I am truly sorry about you scans and progression. When will you see the Doctor? Where does the scan show progression? I hope your tx will finally get you to ned....val

My scan
Val there was a spot on my last scan that I had biopsied and the biopsy was negative, our dear Dr was not satisfied with that and felt something was going on. Well that spot has gotten bigger it is on my left paraaortic node I think right near my left kidney, and now this scan is showing something going on with my right adrenal gland. There is mention of some other areas but not sure what they are saying.
It could be worse and this time I asked for the imageing place to send me a copy also and they did. For me the waiting for the results is a million times worse than actually getting bad news, I know I am not the only one who feels this way so they really have to fix that part.
Yesterday I was a little weepy and down but today I am back to my old self, ready to face whatever they come up with.
Maybe we can get together again I have moved from North Buffalo to the Southtowns it would be a little easier for you.
Colleen

srwruns

Thinking of
Thinking of you...yeah...that family thing is soooo tough...I suspect we under estimate their coping and strength but still our desire to protect and nurture them is overwhelming. Keep us posted on next steps.