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ABC321
ABC321 Member Posts: 52
Hi folks,
How much 'good' time do we have together? My partner and i have been together for 13 years and have three beutiful children aged 3, 5 and 7. He has stage 4 esophageal cancer with one spot on his liver and in the lymph nodes. he is in the middle of treatment, and has a week of chemo next week. He has lost alot of weight in recent months. I just want to know how many 'good' months we may have together as a family. We love travel and want to head o/s one last time...can that happen? What happens after the treatment stops, or does that keep going right through? Our surrogate mum comes from Ohio, so we definitely want to visit again soon.
Steve

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  • chemosmoker
    chemosmoker Member Posts: 501
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    Double Post sorry
    Double post slow tonight sorry...
  • chemosmoker
    chemosmoker Member Posts: 501
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    What a GREAT question...
    Oh Steve,
    You have asked the billion dollar question my friend!
    That is like asking if the chemo will work, or how long before the sun burns itself out of energy.

    It is sadly just one of those things that no one can really predict or say.
    Sure, there are some markers you can use, like blood counts and response to the chemo and energy levels, progression, new CT and PET scans and so forth. He is stage IV as it has spread and is in other organs (Liver) as well as nodes, so the treatment is palliative, and what happens after your oncologist tells you you can take a chemo holiday? Make those reservations fast, get overseas, get to Ohio and visit. That's the best you could hope for, but plan for the worst as with EC, that is just the way you HAVE to live it.

    A feeding tube would be a really really good idea at this point, especially if he is still losing weight. THAT is a sign of things not going in a good direction, for travel and longevity. Between hydration and nutrition, that is a MUST from what I have learned!

    I am SO sorry to have to 'welcome' you to our family here and that you have three small children. That is the hardest part for me to hear.

    If the cancer responds to the line of chemo he is on now, it will probably be continued until the point that the cancer becomes immune to it, and then it's time to try another line. And so on. The choices are to continue chemo and keep fighting, and your body and soul will know when it's time to stop for good. Then it's time to enjoy the time left together and make every minute count. Make every minute count anyway, but with some luck, you two may be able to get overseas, and even to Ohio, and continue to fight and 'drink the magic chemo' for many moons to come. It is just impossible for me or anyone else to say "You have X months to live" or anything like that. If they do, they are lying. I won't lie to you.

    I am 43, stage IV, diagnosed in June of this year, and doing NO chemo or anything else special. Just living a day at a time and loving every minute of it like nobody's business! They gave me 4-6 months to live, 4-6 months ago. See what I mean?
    I am eating like a horse, I feel pretty good despite pain, but it is managed with drugs and for now, I am praying for many more months, and I hope they are wrong as hell. My energy level is good, I am about to travel to visit family, and move to Florida for the warmer winter weather.

    How long do I have?? Who knows. I wish I did, and I am glad I don't. Know what I mean?

    Glad you posted. Tell us more about yourself and your partner, please!!
    What cancer center? What line of chemo is he on now? Is it the first line? Second? Any radiation? And all those great things we all like to know, as they help the many amazing people on this board offer you much hope and meaningful advice.

    I look forward to hearing more from you soon.
    May God bless you and keep your o/s plans and trip to Ohio a reality, and may those three little ones enjoy the company of BOTH parents for a long time to come.

    -Eric
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