Coping after treatment

Jan King

Hi everyone I am Jan 53 years of age and I am Scottish ..I was told i had cancer of the right tonsil, back of toungue, and soft pallete in Feb 2011 I was newly married to my Canadian hubby on the 7th Jan and i had planned to move there to live with him so my life like everyones was turned upside down ..my husband had to return back to Canada but returned to nurse me through my RT after my chemo ...I am now living alone as he had to return to get the paper work done so he can move to the UK ..I was devastated when he left ..I am trying my best to cope have had one follow up with consultant and so far ok but my hgusband was with me then... I go back tomorrow for my next follow up appointment and since my husband left I have been so scared I keep thinking very negitive dark thoughts that i cant seem to let go off I feel its very hard to try and get back to a normal life when i have this fear in my head 24/7 I know life wont ever be normal but I just want to have at least sometime worry free and to be thankful for being here ...at my big meeting when was first told they said they were going for cure and it was an agressive treatment I was in hospital for all my treatment plus had to go back when it was over for 3 weeks due to nausa ...I was just wondering does anyone else find it hard or did find it hard trying to live their lives after treatment without at least some fear .
thanks for reading
Jan x

sweetblood22

Hi Jan. Hoping you and your
Hi Jan. Hoping you and your husband will be reunited soon. I'm sure that is very difficult.

Yes, many of us have varying degrees of anxiety and or depression after treatment. Some seem to struggle daily, and some only seem to struggle occasionally and get 'scanxiety'. The treatment for HNC or oral cancer can be so brutal both physically and of course mentally. Cancer always seems to leave people forever changed. Some ways are for the better though and I try to focus on that, and not on the negatives. Some days are easier than others. I am grateful for more good days than bad days at this time.

jim and i

I can't imagine not having
I can't imagine not having your husband there. My husband is the one who is recovering from treatment but we both have those dark days. Part of the new normal I guess. Keep strong and hopeful. I am praying for your peace and that your husband will be back soon.

Debbie

Skiffin16

Life Changes and Anxiety
Jan, like Dawn mentioned, yes in some ways we will alwas be changed...probably a little more anxiety than before at minimum.

But in some ways it gives us a little insight that others don't have. To appreciate the ones close to us just a little more. Maybe to be a little more tolerant on things that in the big picture aren't really as big as we thought pre-cancer.

Cancer treatment has some really good successes these days.

Try to stay positive, not to worry on things that you can't change, and love your new hubby.

Thoughts and Prayers,
John

shoeloy

Coping
I pray that you will be reunited with your new husband shortly. Remember to tell yourself that the team of doctors felt positive that they could cure you. Seick to thinking you are cured. I have faith that I am cured and thank Gof for each day that he allows me to share with my wife and children.

Simply remember to wake up each day and live life.

I will pray for you to have peace in your heart and mind.

Loyd

Hondo

Hi Jan

I too agree we all at times find it hard to deal with, but then it is the card we were dealt and so we play it. It is a good thing we live in 2011 as the cancer treatment these days are a lot better then just 20 years ago and you have a lot better chance of being cured. There are a lot of us here that have been out of treatment many years and just stay behind to let others know there is hope and life after treatment is great.

PS: Welcome to the family here on CSN
Hondo

patricke

Fear is norman
Hey Jan, the fear is normal, it would be abnormal, I believe, to not be fearful, but the trick is to not be consumed by the fear. The fear of cancer returning was strongest for me initially following treatment, especially when I was feeling a whole lot less than good. What has worked for me to override the fears for the past 11 years is to focus on my activities of daily living, especially the more enjoyable ones; and the further out from treatment, the easier that has become. It did take more of a concerted effort at first to throw blocks in front of the negative grimlins, and focus on the movie, run, family socializing, etc at hand, but the self-reminders to re-focus has worked very well, and still does at those times that I get a sneak attack from the nasty, negative grimlims. Hang in there Jan, remembering that some days will be better than others, but that you are a surviver, and that "you can do it."

Patrick

Jan King

patricke said:

Fear is norman
Hey Jan, the fear is normal, it would be abnormal, I believe, to not be fearful, but the trick is to not be consumed by the fear. The fear of cancer returning was strongest for me initially following treatment, especially when I was feeling a whole lot less than good. What has worked for me to override the fears for the past 11 years is to focus on my activities of daily living, especially the more enjoyable ones; and the further out from treatment, the easier that has become. It did take more of a concerted effort at first to throw blocks in front of the negative grimlins, and focus on the movie, run, family socializing, etc at hand, but the self-reminders to re-focus has worked very well, and still does at those times that I get a sneak attack from the nasty, negative grimlims. Hang in there Jan, remembering that some days will be better than others, but that you are a surviver, and that "you can do it."

Patrick

Fear
I guess fear is normal and we all go through dark times when we think will this come back again or has the treatment worked...I think I am having trouble coming to terms with all of this ..i am finding this part harder than my treatment ansd just finding it hard to cope inbetween my follow up appointments as i cant seem to get it into my head that the treatment worked ..I do go and talk to someone at the local hospice in saying that i have cried more than talked go again on Friday ..hope things will get a bit better as time passes...i am missing the on hands support of my husband as well as the emotional support he gives me and i feel time is very precious so having him gone for the best part of a year has also been hard for me .

My thanks to all for your support and suggestions