One year ago Friday . . .

Angela_K
Angela_K Member Posts: 374 Member
edited October 2011 in Anal Cancer #1
It dawned on me Friday afternoon that one year ago was the anniversary date of my fateful colonoscopy. The date that a local GI doctor said as he performed the procedure, "Oh, my God, that thing is huge!" At that moment, my life changed forever.

After a squirrelly couple of weeks being seen by local doctors, a botched 2nd biopsy and a misdiagnosis (in situ rectal cancer) I fled to my beloved Scott & White Clinic in Temple, a teaching hospital, where I fell into the arms of angels.

I didn't expect tears on Friday. But they came anyway. A river of them.

Just another step on the road of healing.

Comments

  • z
    z Member Posts: 1,414 Member
    #2
    Angela
    Angela, I like the way you write. That local GI doctor saying that is so irresponsible, how would he like a doctor saying that to his loved one.

    I realize you have probably cried previously but you made me recall my 1st tears after my diagnosis, and that was the day I asked my mom to come over to my home and be with me the 1st chemo day. I think that's when it all hit that this is real and its happening to me.

    I am happy you found your teaching hospital to treat you. I also used a teaching hospital for my second opinion and have continued to have follow ups there.

    I wish you well. Lori
  • mp327
    mp327 Member Posts: 4,440 Member
    #3
    Dates
    Angela, there are so many dates that roll around now and take me back to where I was and what happened to me on that day back in 2008. First exam date, colonoscopy date, biopsy results date, port date, then start of treatment, etc., etc. I think I'll always think of those things yearly as those days come up. I am so thankful that I'm still here to remember those dates. I am also thankful that you found your way to a place where you could receive the very best and most successful treatment. It's okay to get emotional, we all need to release those feelings. Hugs to you, my friend!
  • RoseC
    RoseC Member Posts: 559
    #4
    The arms of angels
    The arms of angels - thank goodness for those arms. Family, friends, doctors. Be they human or from God, thank goodness for all of our angels.
  • BeaRose
    BeaRose Member Posts: 45
    #5
    RoseC said:

    The arms of angels
    The arms of angels - thank goodness for those arms. Family, friends, doctors. Be they human or from God, thank goodness for all of our angels.

    dates
    I never cried until my first I gotta went and did not make it to the bathroom. The night before my biopsy result I had a dream. My mom and I were decorating my nieces wedding cake and everything that could go wrong did. In the dream I told mom that we will never get it done, she told me just don't worry everything will be ok. My treatments began on the 5th anniversary of the day my mom died of leukemia. I guess it just stuck with me and I clung to it throughout everything. I am sure she was right beside me all of the way.
  • z
    z Member Posts: 1,414 Member
    #6
    BeaRose said:

    dates
    I never cried until my first I gotta went and did not make it to the bathroom. The night before my biopsy result I had a dream. My mom and I were decorating my nieces wedding cake and everything that could go wrong did. In the dream I told mom that we will never get it done, she told me just don't worry everything will be ok. My treatments began on the 5th anniversary of the day my mom died of leukemia. I guess it just stuck with me and I clung to it throughout everything. I am sure she was right beside me all of the way.

    BeaRose
    Its really interesting what dreams we have, with all the emotions we go through. I'll bet your mom has been with you the whole time. That's how I feel about my grandmother, the strongest woman I've ever known and adored, and there are tears in my eyes missing her.

    I have had several not making it to the bathroom in time issues. I knew I shouldn't have walked around the block without making sure everything was safe. I did make it back inside but barely, I'm just so glad no one stopped me to talk as I would have gone right there.

    A poster on the corectol board had an accident in the dressing room of a expensive dress shop, as she was trying on the dress. Well, she laughs when she gets nervous and she knew people could probably smell the accident and hear her laughing, and she was so upset she left the dress right there in the dressing room and has not been back. She said she had to laugh about it later or she would be crying. Now I don't have those issues thank goodness.

    I wish you well. Lori
  • sandysp
    sandysp Member Posts: 868 Member
    #7
    Wow!
    Oh my God, Angela - that picture is so beautiful! God bless you. We have some trauma stored, that's for sure. It will take time. I have a terrible time being patient. But if I can look as good as you a year from my diagnosis, well - it's alright!

    Fondly,
    Sandy
  • RoseC
    RoseC Member Posts: 559
    #8
    z said:

    BeaRose
    Its really interesting what dreams we have, with all the emotions we go through. I'll bet your mom has been with you the whole time. That's how I feel about my grandmother, the strongest woman I've ever known and adored, and there are tears in my eyes missing her.

    I have had several not making it to the bathroom in time issues. I knew I shouldn't have walked around the block without making sure everything was safe. I did make it back inside but barely, I'm just so glad no one stopped me to talk as I would have gone right there.

    A poster on the corectol board had an accident in the dressing room of a expensive dress shop, as she was trying on the dress. Well, she laughs when she gets nervous and she knew people could probably smell the accident and hear her laughing, and she was so upset she left the dress right there in the dressing room and has not been back. She said she had to laugh about it later or she would be crying. Now I don't have those issues thank goodness.

    I wish you well. Lori

    Nana
    We grew up in my grandmother's house. My mom and dad divorced when we were very young and me and me three siblings (plus my dear mom of course) lived with my grandmother, nana. We all loved nana so much. I still talk to her almost every night in my prayers and I believe she hears me (she passed away from uterine cancer in 1972).

    My mom had me come stay with her during both weeks of chemo and came to radiation and other appointments whenever possible. Thankfully my mom is still with us. She's had a rough past couple of years and now we take care of each other.

    They are two people I will never, ever forget and feel so blessed to have and have had in my life.
  • z
    z Member Posts: 1,414 Member
    #9
    RoseC said:

    Nana
    We grew up in my grandmother's house. My mom and dad divorced when we were very young and me and me three siblings (plus my dear mom of course) lived with my grandmother, nana. We all loved nana so much. I still talk to her almost every night in my prayers and I believe she hears me (she passed away from uterine cancer in 1972).

    My mom had me come stay with her during both weeks of chemo and came to radiation and other appointments whenever possible. Thankfully my mom is still with us. She's had a rough past couple of years and now we take care of each other.

    They are two people I will never, ever forget and feel so blessed to have and have had in my life.

    RoseC
    My grandma and grandpa stepped in to take care of my sister and I when my mom had a divorce. Theywere both always there for us and took great care of us. I have my mom like you have your mom. My mom always has a positive outlook on things, and helps me in that way. I am glad you and your mom are there for each other. Lori
  • Lorikat
    Lorikat Member Posts: 681 Member
    #10
    On my 61st bday the news
    On my 61st bday the news came back that my routine biopsy was cancer. Happy birthday to me! The less than bright gastrointerologist said "don't
    Worry, it is mostly a gay mans disease and the doc next door should be able to handle it. These rumors melt like butter under radiation. Left his office and have never been back. 1). I do not care who "mostly" has it . Each person is important and 2) do not make short of a persons illness, and
    3) don't say "should be able to handle it". That was 4 months ago monday. God bless you Angela
  • Lorikat
    Lorikat Member Posts: 681 Member
    #11
    On my 61st bday the news
    On my 61st bday the news came back that my routine biopsy was cancer. Happy birthday to me! The less than bright gastrointerologist said "don't
    Worry, it is mostly a gay mans disease and the doc next door should be able to handle it. These rumors melt like butter under radiation. Left his office and have never been back. 1). I do not care who "mostly" has it . Each person is important and 2) do not make short of a persons illness, and
    3) don't say "should be able to handle it". That was 4 months ago monday. God bless you Angela
  • shirlann54
    shirlann54 Member Posts: 162
    #12
    angela
    one year I understand,You can't help put cry you have been thru alot. Today was my year anniversary of my colonoscopy and i cryed. the Dr said it was big . had a boiopsy then.It didnt show any thing.and it took 2 more boiopsy and i more colonoscopy they new it was cancer It was hiding in there . We have a lot to be thankful for.
  • 7243
    7243 Member Posts: 249 Member
    #13
    wow ... your story is my story
    Angela ... Today is one year since my fateful c-scope and a "botched biopsy" and so on! Yes, healing is a good road to be on! xoxo

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