Anniversary of: THE News, surgery, End of treatments

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disneyfan2008
disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
I dont' say it to many people-but when I say for example:

Today is 3 yrs since I finished radiation! TO ME it's a big deal-my family think like "OH"...

Does it only mean something to US? ONLY exact DATE I remember is JUNE 28-08 which was my last day of radiation...I know about when ALL THIS started but whirl wind-so dates not embedded in my head.

I also think due to no one said to me YOU HAVE cancer..not the dr or anyone..I LOOKED UP DCIS on line and saw the word Cancer-only way I had any idea. I think it took me days to catch on-once I was told make an appt with surgeon etc..

Denise

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  • jessiesmom1
    jessiesmom1 Member Posts: 915 Member
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    Cancer Anniversary Dates
    Yes, I think it DOES mean something only to us. In August I wanted to celebrate the one year anniversary of my last chemo infusion by going out to dinner with my husband and college age daughter (who was getting ready to go back to school). My husband never seemed particularly thrilled with the idea but we went anyway. When we got home I asked him what was wrong and he just about blew up. It was very hurtful but he basically said that he didn't know why we had to mark the date and lots of bad things have happened to him and HE didn't feel the need to make such a big deal of it. Well, I kept my mouth shut but cried by myself later that night (and right now). While he has had some bad things happen healthwise, he has never had a body part amputated. He did not have surgery to try to recreate that body part and is not disfigured. He does not have a scar that reaches from the center of his chest around past his armpit to his back. I think that unless you have had breast cancer you cannot truly understand all the emotional baggage that comes with it. He couldn't have been more supportive and understanding during treatment but clearly he does not "get it" on a very deep level. Lesson learned. I will just come here on those dates that are important to me.

    IRENE
  • skipper54
    skipper54 Member Posts: 936 Member
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    Cancer Anniversary Dates
    Yes, I think it DOES mean something only to us. In August I wanted to celebrate the one year anniversary of my last chemo infusion by going out to dinner with my husband and college age daughter (who was getting ready to go back to school). My husband never seemed particularly thrilled with the idea but we went anyway. When we got home I asked him what was wrong and he just about blew up. It was very hurtful but he basically said that he didn't know why we had to mark the date and lots of bad things have happened to him and HE didn't feel the need to make such a big deal of it. Well, I kept my mouth shut but cried by myself later that night (and right now). While he has had some bad things happen healthwise, he has never had a body part amputated. He did not have surgery to try to recreate that body part and is not disfigured. He does not have a scar that reaches from the center of his chest around past his armpit to his back. I think that unless you have had breast cancer you cannot truly understand all the emotional baggage that comes with it. He couldn't have been more supportive and understanding during treatment but clearly he does not "get it" on a very deep level. Lesson learned. I will just come here on those dates that are important to me.

    IRENE

    Maaybe we need to find a way to connect in person
    to help each other to honor those milestone dates. I'm not as far out as you from all those events but so far my husband has been pretty good about my need to "celebrate". Maybe down the road he'll forget too. Sometimes the guys just say things without realizing the emotional impact. My hubby did that over the weekend, and I know he didn't mean it the way it reached my ears but . . .

    Hang in there!
  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
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    skipper54 said:

    Maaybe we need to find a way to connect in person
    to help each other to honor those milestone dates. I'm not as far out as you from all those events but so far my husband has been pretty good about my need to "celebrate". Maybe down the road he'll forget too. Sometimes the guys just say things without realizing the emotional impact. My hubby did that over the weekend, and I know he didn't mean it the way it reached my ears but . . .

    Hang in there!

    MY big treat to myself
    When everything was done...was trip to Disney with a friend..(first time no family as well as just adults) I booked the trip shortly after I started all the BC crap...and each time things got bad I would think Mickey Mickey Mickey...and it really helped me get through..I know Mine is the extreme but It was my celebration...(also my also my 50 th day ) I did tell I was celebrating my Birthday when asked by cast members. I think IF I SAID celebrating end of radition I am not sure what reaction I would have gotten..

    Denise
  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
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    skipper54 said:

    Maaybe we need to find a way to connect in person
    to help each other to honor those milestone dates. I'm not as far out as you from all those events but so far my husband has been pretty good about my need to "celebrate". Maybe down the road he'll forget too. Sometimes the guys just say things without realizing the emotional impact. My hubby did that over the weekend, and I know he didn't mean it the way it reached my ears but . . .

    Hang in there!

    MY big treat to myself
    When everything was done...was trip to Disney with a friend..(first time no family as well as just adults) I booked the trip shortly after I started all the BC crap...and each time things got bad I would think Mickey Mickey Mickey...and it really helped me get through..I know Mine is the extreme but It was my celebration...(also my also my 50 th day ) I did tell I was celebrating my Birthday when asked by cast members. I think IF I SAID celebrating end of radition I am not sure what reaction I would have gotten..

    Denise
  • mamolady
    mamolady Member Posts: 796 Member
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    Partly it's just Men in general
    Denise,
    I think partly it is men in general but the big part is never having cancer. When I talk to my uncle (esophageal cancer) he "gets" it. He is still new to his journey, but he can understand some of the things that I am going through.

    So when you need to celebrate we are here! Wow 3 years is awesome! Disney sounds like a perfect way to celebrate. When are you going again?

    Cindy