nothing seems to work now
Like Tina, I haven't posted very often lately as my mum's situation has been very unstable recently.
Got the PET CT result today and there are numerous new nodules in her lung, and the one in her liver has turned more active and bigger as well.
As a mutant, irinotecan is the last available drug for her and even this one is not working...
My heart is scattered, I cannot cry in front of my mum, again I did not tell her everything... she has been in her up spirit and she is feeling good without chemo!
Sorry, my brain stop working and I don't know what to write and say.
I need a miracle desperately, I pray day and night and why God hasn't answered my prayers?
I really love my mum!
Comments
-
Thinking of you, sorry to
Thinking of you, sorry to hear about the progression. Hopes and Prayers. Kim0 -
luvmum.......
I am so sorry that things aren't going as you would hope....Gods plan sometimes doesn't work as you would think it should, but we have to as believers know that whatever that plan is, that He has an intention in anyway it turns out.
God does answer prayer, its just sometimes what we didn't expect to be the outcome....
If she is up in spirit then be up in spirit with her...enjoy her smiles and giggles, and then thank God for answering your prayer that made her feel good on these days...We only have to sort it out to understand the reasoning He does some things He does. To me its enough to comfort me when I feel abandoned, so whatever He chooses for me, I'm ok...I hope you start to feel better ...smiling is contagious, be with your mom and smile with her, that will be her best medicine, and yours as well.......love to you both during this time....Clift0 -
luvmum -
You're never at the end of the road, until you decide it is the
end of -your- road.
You might want to look into "alternatives". Many can offer much
benefit when there's still some fight left in one's body. If the
toxic procedures have taken too much out of one's health,
then it might be a bit too much to expect from any alternative
to work some "miracle".
If there is a practitioner of "Traditional Chinese Medicine" close
enough to visit, it may be worthwhile to make an appointment.
There is no "hocus pocus" involved; the science of TCM has
been used for nearly four thousand years by billions of people,
and it continues to be practiced to this day. Many Asian hospitals
offer both modalities, and use them both for the fight against cancer.
It's one of many "alternatives" that might offer some help, but
just as many western medicine treatments for cancer, there
are no guarantees that it will work at all (as you are finding out).
The plus side, is that TCM (and other alts) will build the immune
system up, and help one's body fight ailments. Very often, just
helping the body to do it's own fighting, is enough to provide life.
(Feeding the body very toxic chemicals never made much sense
to me. How can the body fight anything, after harsh chemicals
that destroy our very core have been pumped into it? )
No guarantees, but certainly worth a look!
Better health to you and yours,
John0 -
just breathe and relax and keep praying
dear luvmum,
you really love your mum.
your a great daughter, and your mums good spirit is a blessing.
i hope for your miracle. just love your mum day by day, its all you can do.
my brain also stops working, maybe it just needs a rest, maybe yours does also.
remember to be kind to yourself, as you are dealing with a huge amount of pressure.
don't forget to ask god to look after you as well as your mum. god's the miracle worker not you. all you can do is care for yourself and then your mum. i am sure she would appreciate seeing you coping as well as possible with her cancers growth.
hugs,
pete0 -
{{hugs}}
I am sorry about your mom, I remember when mine was told there was nothing more they could do for her, a part of me died that day.
I do not know why things are they way they are. I believe God answers all prayers, it is just sometimes that answer is no. I remember lying there sometimes to pray and the only word i could get out was help.
Peace be with you and your mom during this difficult time. I will keep all of you in my prayers whatever the answer is to them.0 -
Beautiful thoughts, BuzzBuzzard said:luvmum.......
I am so sorry that things aren't going as you would hope....Gods plan sometimes doesn't work as you would think it should, but we have to as believers know that whatever that plan is, that He has an intention in anyway it turns out.
God does answer prayer, its just sometimes what we didn't expect to be the outcome....
If she is up in spirit then be up in spirit with her...enjoy her smiles and giggles, and then thank God for answering your prayer that made her feel good on these days...We only have to sort it out to understand the reasoning He does some things He does. To me its enough to comfort me when I feel abandoned, so whatever He chooses for me, I'm ok...I hope you start to feel better ...smiling is contagious, be with your mom and smile with her, that will be her best medicine, and yours as well.......love to you both during this time....Clift
I couldn't add anything to what you said. Luvmum, I hope you can just rest in the peace of God's love and allow Him to strengthen you and heal your mom in whatever way He knows she needs. When my husband was diagnosed with this second cancer, at one point God quietly asked me to just trust Him. I am trying but fail so often!0 -
It Hurts
"Not my will, but thy will be done". It hurts just the same. I am here with my wife, typing on the computer while she sleeps in the infusion chair, irinotecan flowing into her veins. She is with me now, and I cherish each moment with her.
Best to you and your mom.0 -
Dear PhilPhillieG said:Your Mum
I'm sorry to hear this. Has your Mum tried Avastin at all? I used that and it shrunk the tumors in my liver successfully.
You're both in my thoughts...
-phil
Yes she has been having avastin ever since she started chemo... =(
Thanks a lot for your support all the time!
Dora0 -
Dear JohnJohn23 said:luvmum -
You're never at the end of the road, until you decide it is the
end of -your- road.
You might want to look into "alternatives". Many can offer much
benefit when there's still some fight left in one's body. If the
toxic procedures have taken too much out of one's health,
then it might be a bit too much to expect from any alternative
to work some "miracle".
If there is a practitioner of "Traditional Chinese Medicine" close
enough to visit, it may be worthwhile to make an appointment.
There is no "hocus pocus" involved; the science of TCM has
been used for nearly four thousand years by billions of people,
and it continues to be practiced to this day. Many Asian hospitals
offer both modalities, and use them both for the fight against cancer.
It's one of many "alternatives" that might offer some help, but
just as many western medicine treatments for cancer, there
are no guarantees that it will work at all (as you are finding out).
The plus side, is that TCM (and other alts) will build the immune
system up, and help one's body fight ailments. Very often, just
helping the body to do it's own fighting, is enough to provide life.
(Feeding the body very toxic chemicals never made much sense
to me. How can the body fight anything, after harsh chemicals
that destroy our very core have been pumped into it? )
No guarantees, but certainly worth a look!
Better health to you and yours,
John
My mum has been on TCM ever since she was dx. We have seen 3 different practitioners already... there are so many out there and don't know which one suits my mum and they all have different 'philosophies' and 'styles'.
She only stopped it on the day of chemo, then she will resume them...
I'm feeling so lost and hopeless at the moment
Thanks a lot for your suggestions.
Dora0 -
Dear CliftBuzzard said:luvmum.......
I am so sorry that things aren't going as you would hope....Gods plan sometimes doesn't work as you would think it should, but we have to as believers know that whatever that plan is, that He has an intention in anyway it turns out.
God does answer prayer, its just sometimes what we didn't expect to be the outcome....
If she is up in spirit then be up in spirit with her...enjoy her smiles and giggles, and then thank God for answering your prayer that made her feel good on these days...We only have to sort it out to understand the reasoning He does some things He does. To me its enough to comfort me when I feel abandoned, so whatever He chooses for me, I'm ok...I hope you start to feel better ...smiling is contagious, be with your mom and smile with her, that will be her best medicine, and yours as well.......love to you both during this time....Clift
Thank you so so so much for your support.
As I want my mum to live a normal life, she doesn't know much about her progression and I smile to her a lot, kiss her and hug her all the time.
I made the worse ever dinner tonight for her as I forgot to season the dishes...
It's already 1:00am here and I still cannot sleep =(
Love Dora0 -
Dear petepete43lost_at_sea said:just breathe and relax and keep praying
dear luvmum,
you really love your mum.
your a great daughter, and your mums good spirit is a blessing.
i hope for your miracle. just love your mum day by day, its all you can do.
my brain also stops working, maybe it just needs a rest, maybe yours does also.
remember to be kind to yourself, as you are dealing with a huge amount of pressure.
don't forget to ask god to look after you as well as your mum. god's the miracle worker not you. all you can do is care for yourself and then your mum. i am sure she would appreciate seeing you coping as well as possible with her cancers growth.
hugs,
pete
I love my mum a lot a lot a lot... I'm always a mammy's girl and we are together all the time.
I keep telling myself to take good care of myself so that I have energy to take care of her. But it's hard, really hard. I have to eat when I don't have appetite, I have to sleep when I don't feel like to, I have to smile when I actually want to cry my eyes out...
I know I should cherish every second I have with her yet my heart is so bitter to know she will leave me. I know I'm blessed as I can still be with her and take care of her.
Pete, thanks a lot for your support all these days!
Hugs Dora0 -
Dear all
It hurts, it really does... I really would rather be the one who has this than to see my mum going through all the pain and discomfort.
Your prayers and support mean a lot to me. Please pray for her recovery and miracle. I still have hope and still want to see her live longer than the prognosis!!!
Love to you all!
Dora0 -
Im so sorryluvmum said:Dear all
It hurts, it really does... I really would rather be the one who has this than to see my mum going through all the pain and discomfort.
Your prayers and support mean a lot to me. Please pray for her recovery and miracle. I still have hope and still want to see her live longer than the prognosis!!!
Love to you all!
Dora
Hi I was in the same boat as you both my parents were diagnosed with cancer months from one another. My mom had diagnosed with stage 4 kidney cancer after suffering a major heart attack. My mom has stage 4 colon cancer kras mutation as well. The cpt 11 didnt work and the doctor pretty much told us their was nothing else to do. This was about 3 months ago. I cried, its hard but then my sister (biochemist) and me went into full research mode.
1. Find out you mom's mutation exactly my mom happens to be 13d which is a rare mutation that enables her to take erbitux and cpt 11. Her cea has dropped 6 points since chemo started a month ago.
2. mytican c their is a maintance drug need to ask my sis again that can keep the tumors stable for at least couple months for a clinical trial
3. Do double avastin dosages (friend with kras started doing this) everything shrunk now because it was doubling the blood circulation off
4. the virus trial has been a real success look into it..
5. Antibody and sloan memorial trial 1 but uses the own immune system to build up and fight the tumors
6. try going at the lungs with radiation and chemo works better weakens the tumors better. Cryoblaze or fry the heck out of the liver tumor.
7. Their is another advanced cpt 11 done by europe called HA-irnotecan that is supposed to be alot more advanced compared to regular cpt 11. (3rd trial in austrailia) soon the usa fda will approve it.
8. couple other promising clinical trials are working
alot more stuff dont give up..take a breath..take time to recoup and take each day at a time. I got my dad ct scan results last monday his tumors are pretty much killing them selves \\
so good luck keep strong and people i've read, met have gone and clinical trials when chemo failed and end up wiping out the cancer that way.........
Jen : )0 -
Dear Dora, you and mom are in my prayers today!jengen12 said:Im so sorry
Hi I was in the same boat as you both my parents were diagnosed with cancer months from one another. My mom had diagnosed with stage 4 kidney cancer after suffering a major heart attack. My mom has stage 4 colon cancer kras mutation as well. The cpt 11 didnt work and the doctor pretty much told us their was nothing else to do. This was about 3 months ago. I cried, its hard but then my sister (biochemist) and me went into full research mode.
1. Find out you mom's mutation exactly my mom happens to be 13d which is a rare mutation that enables her to take erbitux and cpt 11. Her cea has dropped 6 points since chemo started a month ago.
2. mytican c their is a maintance drug need to ask my sis again that can keep the tumors stable for at least couple months for a clinical trial
3. Do double avastin dosages (friend with kras started doing this) everything shrunk now because it was doubling the blood circulation off
4. the virus trial has been a real success look into it..
5. Antibody and sloan memorial trial 1 but uses the own immune system to build up and fight the tumors
6. try going at the lungs with radiation and chemo works better weakens the tumors better. Cryoblaze or fry the heck out of the liver tumor.
7. Their is another advanced cpt 11 done by europe called HA-irnotecan that is supposed to be alot more advanced compared to regular cpt 11. (3rd trial in austrailia) soon the usa fda will approve it.
8. couple other promising clinical trials are working
alot more stuff dont give up..take a breath..take time to recoup and take each day at a time. I got my dad ct scan results last monday his tumors are pretty much killing them selves \\
so good luck keep strong and people i've read, met have gone and clinical trials when chemo failed and end up wiping out the cancer that way.........
Jen : )
But I'm sure you will find a plan ! praying for that!0 -
Dora
It is said that God answers prayers, but not necessarily in the way that you wanted. Perhaps she is meant to be enjoying these moments, making memories for you to keep and cherish, her smiles, her words, her good spirits, something for you to have later, to hold close in your mind and keep dear in your heart.
We will never understand "God's Plans" so there is a point where we have to accept whatever is going to happen, and in this case, if nothing is working, then enjoying your moments with your mum and cherishing those moments is what you need to do. Certainly, the tears shall fall. When my mother was at her end, I could not help crying, I tried so hard not to cry in front of her, had it been anyone else I would have succeeded, but this was my mom, and the tears would fall unbidden and unwanted, and do not be surprised if you eventually do that, the mother and daughter bond can be so strong, as you and I can attest to, and it isn't easily broken.
My heart aches for you, and I pray for you and your mum, and I don't say that lightly.
Winter Marie0 -
oh dora, you made me tear up a bitluvmum said:Dear pete
I love my mum a lot a lot a lot... I'm always a mammy's girl and we are together all the time.
I keep telling myself to take good care of myself so that I have energy to take care of her. But it's hard, really hard. I have to eat when I don't have appetite, I have to sleep when I don't feel like to, I have to smile when I actually want to cry my eyes out...
I know I should cherish every second I have with her yet my heart is so bitter to know she will leave me. I know I'm blessed as I can still be with her and take care of her.
Pete, thanks a lot for your support all these days!
Hugs Dora
my mum's been dead 24 years, she died of a stroke when i was 21 and my dad died when i was 14. i loved her the way you love your mum. loving your mum is the greatest gift youb can give her. of course and extra hug and kiss will not hurt.
hugs,
pete0 -
Dora
Dora,
You are a wonderful daughter and your mom has done a great job as a mom as you love her very, very much. You two will be in my prayers. I am so sorry you are carrying this burden and that your mom is having to go through this.
Aloha,
Kathleen0
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