My heart is breaking

forme
forme Member Posts: 1,161 Member
Hi All,

This year has started off going down hill fast. As you know, my wonderful mother in law passed away from melanoma. Not a way to start off the new year.

The last few months have been horrible. Putting my issues aside, my younger cousin 45, has stage 3 colorectal cancer. She went through aggressive treatment that just finished. Now she is waiting and hoping for surgery. She has an enormous support group and I feel strongly that she will do fine. She is an amazing woman and I admire her strength and her courage.

Now, this afternoon I found out that a very close and dear family friend has inoperable lung cancer. She is like another mom to me. My heart is breaking. She had gone into the hospital for surgery, but they found cancer in to many nodes, so no surgery. I had to tell my mom that she has the flu. I had called her from my moms place. My mom would have been to upset to handle the news.

I hate cancer. I really hate cancer.

If you could say some prayers or send some good healing thoughts to my cousin and our dear friend, it can only help.

Thank you all for every good thought you have and all your prayers.

You all mean the world to me.
Lisha
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Comments

  • jimwins
    jimwins Member Posts: 2,107
    Lisha,
    Sorry you're having

    Lisha,
    Sorry you're having to go through all of this.
    You're all in my thoughts.

    Since I've been involved with this site, I sometimes
    research blessings and prayers (doesn't matter if it's
    non-christian). I liked this Apache blessing:


    May the sun bring you new energy every day.

    May the moon softly restore you by night.

    May the rain wash away your worries.

    May the breeze blow new strength into your being.

    May you walk gently through the world

    and know its beauty all the days of your life.

    <>
    Miracles happen every day - you are proof of that :).

    Jim
  • forme
    forme Member Posts: 1,161 Member
    jimwins said:

    Lisha,
    Sorry you're having

    Lisha,
    Sorry you're having to go through all of this.
    You're all in my thoughts.

    Since I've been involved with this site, I sometimes
    research blessings and prayers (doesn't matter if it's
    non-christian). I liked this Apache blessing:


    May the sun bring you new energy every day.

    May the moon softly restore you by night.

    May the rain wash away your worries.

    May the breeze blow new strength into your being.

    May you walk gently through the world

    and know its beauty all the days of your life.

    <>
    Miracles happen every day - you are proof of that :).

    Jim

    Just what I needed
    Hi Jim

    Thank you for your warm thoughts. Just having a real tough day today.
    The Apache blessing is wonderful. Very kind of you to post it.

    Thanks
    Lisha
  • anag21
    anag21 Member Posts: 28
    jimwins said:

    Lisha,
    Sorry you're having

    Lisha,
    Sorry you're having to go through all of this.
    You're all in my thoughts.

    Since I've been involved with this site, I sometimes
    research blessings and prayers (doesn't matter if it's
    non-christian). I liked this Apache blessing:


    May the sun bring you new energy every day.

    May the moon softly restore you by night.

    May the rain wash away your worries.

    May the breeze blow new strength into your being.

    May you walk gently through the world

    and know its beauty all the days of your life.

    <>
    Miracles happen every day - you are proof of that :).

    Jim

    Blessing
    Just wanted to say thanks for sharing this blessing, I really like it!
  • dixiegirl
    dixiegirl Member Posts: 1,043 Member
    anag21 said:

    Blessing
    Just wanted to say thanks for sharing this blessing, I really like it!

    Lisha
    I hate cancer too. With every ounce of my being. I send you all warm and peaceful thoughts. This has been such a hard year for me too. Sometimes it's hard to describe all the emotions roaring through my head. Words just aren't enough some days.

    I wish I could be there to hug you and take away some of the pain, even if just for a few moments.

    Take care honey,
    Beth
  • scuttlebug11
    scuttlebug11 Member Posts: 175
    dixiegirl said:

    Lisha
    I hate cancer too. With every ounce of my being. I send you all warm and peaceful thoughts. This has been such a hard year for me too. Sometimes it's hard to describe all the emotions roaring through my head. Words just aren't enough some days.

    I wish I could be there to hug you and take away some of the pain, even if just for a few moments.

    Take care honey,
    Beth

    emotions
    i am so glad to read i'm not the only one that keeps having emotions that goes wild lisha you are in my prayers. blessings denise
  • COBRA666
    COBRA666 Member Posts: 2,401 Member
    Dang !!!
    Lisha,
    I know what you mean about The Breaking Heart. It seems like when it starts to rain it never stops. Our prayers are with you. There has to be a break in the clouds somewhere. John
  • allmost60
    allmost60 Member Posts: 3,178
    COBRA666 said:

    Dang !!!
    Lisha,
    I know what you mean about The Breaking Heart. It seems like when it starts to rain it never stops. Our prayers are with you. There has to be a break in the clouds somewhere. John

    Amen...
    Amen to hating cancer! I hear ya John....we all need to catch a break and have a little breathing room. Feels like something is always popping up with one of us here. I'll keep your friends in my prayers Lisha, along with you and everyone else here. It's got to get better one of these days!
    Love...Sue (FNHL-2-3A-6/10)
  • forme
    forme Member Posts: 1,161 Member
    dixiegirl said:

    Lisha
    I hate cancer too. With every ounce of my being. I send you all warm and peaceful thoughts. This has been such a hard year for me too. Sometimes it's hard to describe all the emotions roaring through my head. Words just aren't enough some days.

    I wish I could be there to hug you and take away some of the pain, even if just for a few moments.

    Take care honey,
    Beth

    (((hugs)))
    Beth,

    Hard is an understatement! You have been through so much and you continue to give so much to others.

    I wish I could give you a bunch of (((hugs))) too!

    Hoping for better days ahead, for all of us..

    You take care too,
    Lisha
  • JoanieP
    JoanieP Member Posts: 573
    Lisha
    I am so sorry that things are so hard for you . Cancer is horrible. Why haven't they found a cure. Millions of dollars have been spent!!! I am so sorry about you friends. My good friend in my cancer support group died yesterday. He was a wonderful man. Hugs to you Lisha. Sorry I am rambling Joanie
  • Go_go_Gi_gi
    Go_go_Gi_gi Member Posts: 84
    Lisha-emotions
    Being relatively new to cancer and this site-So very sorry that you are going through such a rough patch--I too like the Apache prayer--using so many of everyday terms to point us to some comfort and peace in the midst of difficulty---My prayers are with you as you go through this----May the peace of God lift you up to the comfort of His love- Susan
  • scuttlebug11
    scuttlebug11 Member Posts: 175

    Lisha-emotions
    Being relatively new to cancer and this site-So very sorry that you are going through such a rough patch--I too like the Apache prayer--using so many of everyday terms to point us to some comfort and peace in the midst of difficulty---My prayers are with you as you go through this----May the peace of God lift you up to the comfort of His love- Susan

    cure
    john i believe like you. all of these years and all of the money i keep hanging on to faith and hope, i know each time i have a pet scan its 18,500. i don' understand why i never have a cat scan do you know which one is more accurate?
  • allmost60
    allmost60 Member Posts: 3,178

    cure
    john i believe like you. all of these years and all of the money i keep hanging on to faith and hope, i know each time i have a pet scan its 18,500. i don' understand why i never have a cat scan do you know which one is more accurate?

    Big bucks!
    Hi Denise,
    My Rituxan infusion, doctors appointment(15 minutes) and lab work..(every other month) runs close to $15,000.00. Hmmmm...cure or manage? One only has to do the math to see the bigger picture. I have never had a PET scan yet..only CT scans. I'm not sure why. Ask your doctor when you go in for your appointment. Take care and hope you have a nice weekend.
    Much love....Sue (FNHL-2-3A-6/10)
  • COBRA666
    COBRA666 Member Posts: 2,401 Member

    cure
    john i believe like you. all of these years and all of the money i keep hanging on to faith and hope, i know each time i have a pet scan its 18,500. i don' understand why i never have a cat scan do you know which one is more accurate?

    Treatment cost
    Denise,
    Its been a little over a year since my last chemo treatment(not R maintence)and the cost you and Sue are saying sounds pretty close to mine. Then I would get more bills added for things I have no idea whatI was being charged for. I would call the insurance co. because as you know they use codes numbers on all their proceedures. We have no idea what those codes stand for. There were times the ins.co.had no idea as well. They said they would check,but it was the last I heard of it. Then I would get a statement it had all been paid.The great part is I have not paid 1 penny or even been charged 1 penny as being owed. The insurance covered it all. Its just I wanted to know what these extra high cost were. Its the same with my follow-up R maintenance. There is always extra cost that I have no idea what they could be. When I have my Drs. appt. I have several people that stop in before the Dr. sees me and the insurance co. gets a bill for each of their visits. I even had a case worker stand in the doorway one time and ask me how everything was going. Took all of 30 seconds and got a bill for $345. If they ever bring the cure out of the closet then these people would not have a job. John
  • catwink22
    catwink22 Member Posts: 281

    cure
    john i believe like you. all of these years and all of the money i keep hanging on to faith and hope, i know each time i have a pet scan its 18,500. i don' understand why i never have a cat scan do you know which one is more accurate?

    They are different
    Hi Scuttlebug! I've done a little research on the difference between a cat (or CT) and a pet scan because my insurance company said I didn't need a pet and I should have a cat ($$$$?). I panicked because I didn't think this was a decision my insurance company should be making! I've never had a cat either and I wondered why. My doctor stepped in and I did get the pet, but this is what I found (and I'm no medical professional so please anyone if I'm misinformed chime in!):
    A cat scan is very detailed and can see every little lump and bump, BUT it can't tell you if those lumps and bumps are cancerous.
    A pet scan sees if there is any cancerous activity and measures the intensity of that activity.
    Seems to me we should be having both with the pet as an overlay to the cat, but like I said I am no medical professional! I guess it isn't which one is more accurate, it's what you are looking for.
    Hope that helps!
    Cat
  • jimwins
    jimwins Member Posts: 2,107
    catwink22 said:

    They are different
    Hi Scuttlebug! I've done a little research on the difference between a cat (or CT) and a pet scan because my insurance company said I didn't need a pet and I should have a cat ($$$$?). I panicked because I didn't think this was a decision my insurance company should be making! I've never had a cat either and I wondered why. My doctor stepped in and I did get the pet, but this is what I found (and I'm no medical professional so please anyone if I'm misinformed chime in!):
    A cat scan is very detailed and can see every little lump and bump, BUT it can't tell you if those lumps and bumps are cancerous.
    A pet scan sees if there is any cancerous activity and measures the intensity of that activity.
    Seems to me we should be having both with the pet as an overlay to the cat, but like I said I am no medical professional! I guess it isn't which one is more accurate, it's what you are looking for.
    Hope that helps!
    Cat

    Pet and CT scan info
    CT and CAT scans are the same thing which I wasn't sure about myself.

    I found this:

    http://www.differencebetween.com/difference-between-ct-scan-and-pet-scan/

    Summary at the end:

    › CT and PET scan are imaging techniques used by the medical professionals.

    › Both are helpful to find out the spread of the cancer.

    › Both can increase the risk of cancer as they are using RADIATION.

    › PET scan is superior to CT as it will give the metabolic activity of the tissue.

    › PET scan need more time compared with the plain CT.

    › PET scan uses RADIO ACTIVE isotopes, which emits radiation, but CT uses X-rays.

    › CT is comparatively simple procedure than PET scan


    Read more: http://www.differencebetween.com/difference-between-ct-scan-and-pet-scan/#ixzz1Xna1RYlO
  • violinist1
    violinist1 Member Posts: 33
    jimwins said:

    Pet and CT scan info
    CT and CAT scans are the same thing which I wasn't sure about myself.

    I found this:

    http://www.differencebetween.com/difference-between-ct-scan-and-pet-scan/

    Summary at the end:

    › CT and PET scan are imaging techniques used by the medical professionals.

    › Both are helpful to find out the spread of the cancer.

    › Both can increase the risk of cancer as they are using RADIATION.

    › PET scan is superior to CT as it will give the metabolic activity of the tissue.

    › PET scan need more time compared with the plain CT.

    › PET scan uses RADIO ACTIVE isotopes, which emits radiation, but CT uses X-rays.

    › CT is comparatively simple procedure than PET scan


    Read more: http://www.differencebetween.com/difference-between-ct-scan-and-pet-scan/#ixzz1Xna1RYlO

    cat scans vs mri
    Hello,
    I've had all of them, but now for maintenance, I'm having mri every 3 months instead of cat, to lessen my exposure to radiation over my lifetime. Debating the pros and cons of cat vs mri, my 3 docs all disagree. There is nostudy proving that lessening exposure to radiation by getting mri instead of cat improves outcome. It is a practical decision for me, based on the fact that in the old days, lymphoma patients were treated with large doses of radiation, and many of them died from second cancers caused by the radiation. The decision to have mri for me is based on the real fact that cat had 1000 timesmore radiation in it than an exray, andi have had 4 cat scans since april 2011. One doc claims that the cat pics are better, onetotallybelieves that mri pics are better, despite the heart beating during the mri, and possibly blurring the pics. Inaddition, some mri whole body scans take close to 2 hours to complete, where as som mri machines do it in 45 minutes.
    Some radiation departments don't want to do mri for lymphoma surveillance because cat is common practice everywhere, not mri. However, mri used for surveillance is used exclusively at Yale because of the radiation with cat. Pet, they only drag for me as a last test to check off the list. Also important is the age of the machine in your facility. The mri machine near my house is not state of the art, taking close to 2 hours. So, i'm going an hour away for the new machine. Also, some docs believe that the mri doesn't show the lungs well enough, but my guy is perfectly comfortable with that, saying," ourpics are perfect"My other doc says that the pics taken with mri are not always perfect enough for the lungs. I'm going with mri , not a second thought. By the way,
    They charge my insurance $15000 for the mri, $16000 for the pet, and $60000 for my radiation, all 15 days of it. And, there were 3 power outages during my radiation, luckily i wasn't on the table!!! They told me that if the power goes out with you on the table, you start again.
  • dixiegirl
    dixiegirl Member Posts: 1,043 Member

    cat scans vs mri
    Hello,
    I've had all of them, but now for maintenance, I'm having mri every 3 months instead of cat, to lessen my exposure to radiation over my lifetime. Debating the pros and cons of cat vs mri, my 3 docs all disagree. There is nostudy proving that lessening exposure to radiation by getting mri instead of cat improves outcome. It is a practical decision for me, based on the fact that in the old days, lymphoma patients were treated with large doses of radiation, and many of them died from second cancers caused by the radiation. The decision to have mri for me is based on the real fact that cat had 1000 timesmore radiation in it than an exray, andi have had 4 cat scans since april 2011. One doc claims that the cat pics are better, onetotallybelieves that mri pics are better, despite the heart beating during the mri, and possibly blurring the pics. Inaddition, some mri whole body scans take close to 2 hours to complete, where as som mri machines do it in 45 minutes.
    Some radiation departments don't want to do mri for lymphoma surveillance because cat is common practice everywhere, not mri. However, mri used for surveillance is used exclusively at Yale because of the radiation with cat. Pet, they only drag for me as a last test to check off the list. Also important is the age of the machine in your facility. The mri machine near my house is not state of the art, taking close to 2 hours. So, i'm going an hour away for the new machine. Also, some docs believe that the mri doesn't show the lungs well enough, but my guy is perfectly comfortable with that, saying," ourpics are perfect"My other doc says that the pics taken with mri are not always perfect enough for the lungs. I'm going with mri , not a second thought. By the way,
    They charge my insurance $15000 for the mri, $16000 for the pet, and $60000 for my radiation, all 15 days of it. And, there were 3 power outages during my radiation, luckily i wasn't on the table!!! They told me that if the power goes out with you on the table, you start again.

    Mine
    The machine that does mine is a combo, does both pet and ct at the same time.

    Hopefully this helps.

    Thanks,
    Beth
  • catwink22
    catwink22 Member Posts: 281
    dixiegirl said:

    Mine
    The machine that does mine is a combo, does both pet and ct at the same time.

    Hopefully this helps.

    Thanks,
    Beth

    That's what I'm talking about!
    Hi Beth!
    I'm very curious about your scan. What's it called and where do you get one?! Sign me up! Have you ever seen what your scan looks like? I've never actually seen my PET scan, I just get a copy of the pathologist's report. It troubles me that this tool is available out there and I didn't even know it existed! There goes my patent! lol I wish I was that smart.
    Hope you are doing well Beth! Thanks for the information.
    Cat
  • CountryGal7557
    CountryGal7557 Member Posts: 164 Member
    catwink22 said:

    That's what I'm talking about!
    Hi Beth!
    I'm very curious about your scan. What's it called and where do you get one?! Sign me up! Have you ever seen what your scan looks like? I've never actually seen my PET scan, I just get a copy of the pathologist's report. It troubles me that this tool is available out there and I didn't even know it existed! There goes my patent! lol I wish I was that smart.
    Hope you are doing well Beth! Thanks for the information.
    Cat

    Roger Maris Cancer Center in Fargo ND
    Cat,

    Mine is done together as one @ Roger Maris Cancer Center in Fargo ND.
    A radioactive dye is injected and I have to lay still for one hour for the dye to attach itself to sugar or cancer cells. I'm strapped onto a moving table that passes through a drum a series of times and takes 25 to 30 minutes.

    Janelle
  • dixiegirl
    dixiegirl Member Posts: 1,043 Member
    catwink22 said:

    That's what I'm talking about!
    Hi Beth!
    I'm very curious about your scan. What's it called and where do you get one?! Sign me up! Have you ever seen what your scan looks like? I've never actually seen my PET scan, I just get a copy of the pathologist's report. It troubles me that this tool is available out there and I didn't even know it existed! There goes my patent! lol I wish I was that smart.
    Hope you are doing well Beth! Thanks for the information.
    Cat

    Copies
    I get a CD that has all the scan image and the report. I do have to go to the hospital to get it in the radiation department. It doesn't generally take too long to get. Wherever you get your scans should offer this.

    Course all the images are not labeled so I have no clue what I am looking at.

    Take Care,
    Beth