Mum;I love you

Riaddora

Last year, my friend's aunt was diagnosed with uterus cancer in an early stage.Of course, I have never been interested in such matters, he told me that it all started with bleeding.That rang a bell for me because mum has that symptom too. Yet I did not take things seriously for I thought mum was ok though the symptoms of malignant tumor were there.Furthermore,we don't talk much in my family. Sometimes it takes one week for me to talk with my mother for 2 or 3 minutes. Now;to my surprise mum-66yrs- is suffering from uterus cancer stage 3 which makes her hope of surviving very small. The doctor said 25 per cent. She had 5 weeks of concomitant chimeo with CISPLATINE and 25 radiotherapy cures.
I am living with feeling of guilt and if - God forbid- the worse happens, I will not forgive myself.

upsofloating

I am sorry your mum's
I am sorry your mum's symptoms did turn out to be cancer but it is not always the case. And denial is not uncommon when we do not want something to be so. However, more important, stage 3 is not a death sentence. I was diagnosed with an aggressive grade cancer stage 4B over three and half years ago. If necessary consider a second opinion. Unless your mother has other serious health issues standard treatment although difficult should be manageable. Is she being treated by a gynecologic oncologist? Do you know what Grade her cancer is?
Annie

Double Whammy

upsofloating said:

I am sorry your mum's
I am sorry your mum's symptoms did turn out to be cancer but it is not always the case. And denial is not uncommon when we do not want something to be so. However, more important, stage 3 is not a death sentence. I was diagnosed with an aggressive grade cancer stage 4B over three and half years ago. If necessary consider a second opinion. Unless your mother has other serious health issues standard treatment although difficult should be manageable. Is she being treated by a gynecologic oncologist? Do you know what Grade her cancer is?
Annie

Please don't feel guilty
I'm about your mum's age and have been trying to put myself in her shoes and my adult daughter in yours. I would not blame my daughter (i.e., you) - not at all. It wouldn't even cross my mind. I'm a grown up and did not even consider telling my daughter anything until I had a diagnosis. I didn't see it as her job to worry or solve it or give me advice. In fact, I hated to have to tell her at all.

Of course, you love your mum and wish you could have done something to prevent this. You couldn't so please stop blaming yourself. And don't brand her as dead - she's far from it. She is alive and in treatment and you can be there to help her through it. Be the daughter you want to be now. Believe me, she will love and appreciate anything you do for her in the name of love.

My daughter lives 600 miles away, has children, a husband, and a job. She and her brother came between my surgeries when I was well enough to enjoy and appreciate their visit - and I did. She called often (almost every day through chemo). I had a large support group (husband and friends) here and did not need her. I know she loves me. I never doubted it. Still don't. I did not want to disrupt her life and I didn't have to. I knew if I needed her, she'd be here in a heartbeat. For me that was enough.

We're all different, yet similar, as mothers and daughters. It's a relationship unlike any other. Just do your best to show your mum how much she means to you and support her through this. It is time for families to rally together.

A good friend of mine has UPSC and is undergoing treatments. Her children are distant, but both have come to help for finite periods of time over the past 2+ months. She can't get over how good that makes her feel. We talk about this often. How gratifying as a mom to know that you are so loved by your children - and that you had some part in molding such loving, caring, and compassionate people.

Wishing you and your mom the best. Sometimes these experiences can make that bond stronger.

Suzanne

Riaddora

Double Whammy said:

Please don't feel guilty
I'm about your mum's age and have been trying to put myself in her shoes and my adult daughter in yours. I would not blame my daughter (i.e., you) - not at all. It wouldn't even cross my mind. I'm a grown up and did not even consider telling my daughter anything until I had a diagnosis. I didn't see it as her job to worry or solve it or give me advice. In fact, I hated to have to tell her at all.

Of course, you love your mum and wish you could have done something to prevent this. You couldn't so please stop blaming yourself. And don't brand her as dead - she's far from it. She is alive and in treatment and you can be there to help her through it. Be the daughter you want to be now. Believe me, she will love and appreciate anything you do for her in the name of love.

My daughter lives 600 miles away, has children, a husband, and a job. She and her brother came between my surgeries when I was well enough to enjoy and appreciate their visit - and I did. She called often (almost every day through chemo). I had a large support group (husband and friends) here and did not need her. I know she loves me. I never doubted it. Still don't. I did not want to disrupt her life and I didn't have to. I knew if I needed her, she'd be here in a heartbeat. For me that was enough.

We're all different, yet similar, as mothers and daughters. It's a relationship unlike any other. Just do your best to show your mum how much she means to you and support her through this. It is time for families to rally together.

A good friend of mine has UPSC and is undergoing treatments. Her children are distant, but both have come to help for finite periods of time over the past 2+ months. She can't get over how good that makes her feel. We talk about this often. How gratifying as a mom to know that you are so loved by your children - and that you had some part in molding such loving, caring, and compassionate people.

Wishing you and your mom the best. Sometimes these experiences can make that bond stronger.

Suzanne

Thanks
Thank you for you warm answer.Thank you for taking time to write me those nice and encouraging words.May god bless you.

Riaddora

upsofloating said:

I am sorry your mum's
I am sorry your mum's symptoms did turn out to be cancer but it is not always the case. And denial is not uncommon when we do not want something to be so. However, more important, stage 3 is not a death sentence. I was diagnosed with an aggressive grade cancer stage 4B over three and half years ago. If necessary consider a second opinion. Unless your mother has other serious health issues standard treatment although difficult should be manageable. Is she being treated by a gynecologic oncologist? Do you know what Grade her cancer is?
Annie

Thanks
Thank you for caring . Thank you for sharing.All I know is that she is in stage 3 and that the tumor hampered the way she walks as it affected her left leg. But now she seems to get better,she can use her left leg but not stretch it for a while without enduring pain.