How do you keep positive?
Comments
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Individuals...
We're all different and we all have different reactions in this journey of bc...it' not a "one size fits all"....it's hard to stay positive all the time and maybe that's not a bad thing...my first go round with bc two years ago, I put on the happy face for friends and loved ones, when inside I thought I was going to lose my mind! now I'm in the battle again, much worse this time...I am triple negative and I've known from the start mine is as my oncologist calls it a " nasty beast"...once again , it's chemo (oral this time, Xeloda) and radiation..both are 5 days a week for 6 weeks....it sucks, but it is what it is...there are days, when I am no peach to live with but you know what? It's my right! I have accepted That I will live with this chronic disease as long as I do live...so I just soldier on and deal with it best I can...If I'm having a crappy day now, I don't feel the need to put on the happy face...I have had my pity parties, that's normal, and for some reason after one I seem to feel better....perhaps, just going with how I feel, brings me relief from all the negative thoughts and reality of what I have....I think it helps to " get it out"... And I must admit sometimes I do get tired of people telling me,"stay positive"....what's our other option? Haven't found one yet....We just do the best we can, under the circumstances...my feeling is, do what you have to do to get through each day, or each hour or even the next minute.....there's no pat answer....
I am wishing you better days...
Hugs, Nancy0 -
I'm not positveMAJW said:Individuals...
We're all different and we all have different reactions in this journey of bc...it' not a "one size fits all"....it's hard to stay positive all the time and maybe that's not a bad thing...my first go round with bc two years ago, I put on the happy face for friends and loved ones, when inside I thought I was going to lose my mind! now I'm in the battle again, much worse this time...I am triple negative and I've known from the start mine is as my oncologist calls it a " nasty beast"...once again , it's chemo (oral this time, Xeloda) and radiation..both are 5 days a week for 6 weeks....it sucks, but it is what it is...there are days, when I am no peach to live with but you know what? It's my right! I have accepted That I will live with this chronic disease as long as I do live...so I just soldier on and deal with it best I can...If I'm having a crappy day now, I don't feel the need to put on the happy face...I have had my pity parties, that's normal, and for some reason after one I seem to feel better....perhaps, just going with how I feel, brings me relief from all the negative thoughts and reality of what I have....I think it helps to " get it out"... And I must admit sometimes I do get tired of people telling me,"stay positive"....what's our other option? Haven't found one yet....We just do the best we can, under the circumstances...my feeling is, do what you have to do to get through each day, or each hour or even the next minute.....there's no pat answer....
I am wishing you better days...
Hugs, Nancy
I'm not positive and my dx was a good one.Non invasive DCIS.BUT I know there could be other types of cancer lurking inside my body.Just not sure where.We all have our semi or annual mammos but we don't have other areas checked. Not unless there is a problem.
My journey started with a very small malignant non invasive tumor .Then being prepped for the cancer surgery a benign tumor was found.It also was taken out.Then 3 weeks later I found another tumor 2 days before my check margin surgery.Benign.Just a roller coaster in that short time.
Then to top that things were going pretty good.A cyst was found and watching it.Then last month for my 6 month mammo a tumor was found(going into my 2 year cancerversary)Almost a month later(just this week) a biopsy was done.It was benign.I am so grateful.Now waiting for the next 6 months for the right side to be checked.
With all this it is hard to keep positive.My husband doesn't say much when I tell him they find something.While I am waiting to get my needle biopsy done he never asks when etc.Finally this week I just mentioned my tumor was benign.He said that is good.Then he said nothing for a couple more days.Suddenly last night he said "You have no idea how happy I am your tumor was benign.I don't know what I would do without you".This just came out from no where and I cried. He apologized and said he had no idea I felt that way.I felt like he wasn't worried but he hides it I guess.
Our lives have taken on a new outlook with this beast.Not one anyone would want to go through.My friends and niece were dx with invasive cancer.Just once have they dealt with scares.That was the only surgery BUT me they just keep happening even though benign.I am lucky but still a very traumatic life I feel I am leading.
Right now I am positive after this sweek but in 6 months my mammo will be on the other side.They tell me my tumors are so small they can't be felt but the mammos and ultrasounds find them.Thank Goodness.
Lynn Smith0 -
Even people without cancer
Even people without cancer have bad days! Please remember that. I personally see a councilor to help me navigate this journey. The other thing that has saved my sanity is my girls. Mostly my oldest daughter. She comes out once a month to drag me out to do stuff. It doesn't hurt that she brings my grand kids too! I am always tired when she leaves but it is a good tired.
Try to keep the down days in check. How you do it is personal to you.
Big Hugs,
Cindy0 -
:-/
I would suggest you talk to your doctor to see if they can recommend a counselor to help you talk through some of your feelings. I had my mom and sister to talk with who both had cancer and that did help me.
For me cancer has damaged my left arm and hand, marred my left breast (lumpectomy) and totally took my right breast which has since been reconstructed and thankfully turned out looking pretty normal. I have migraines, stomach issues, light gloucoma, and nerve damage in my feet as well as other issues but darn it I have worked hard to be here and so have you, you are a survivor a person who has worked darned hard to be where you are today. You deserve the right to enjoy your life and to have happy times. Yes we still have cancer cells roaming around inside of us, they may come active or they may remain dormant which ever it turns out to be while they are dormant they certainly have no right to make all of your day's unhappy! Please talk to your doctor and although the "when is cancer going to return" monster always rears its head please know there are many times out there and you deserve to enjoy them. My cancer journey started in 1997, yes it has returned and currently has been dormant for 4.5 years, in that time I have had good and bad days thankfully more good than bad! I wish you all the best!!!0 -
My coping has been to beRE said::-/
I would suggest you talk to your doctor to see if they can recommend a counselor to help you talk through some of your feelings. I had my mom and sister to talk with who both had cancer and that did help me.
For me cancer has damaged my left arm and hand, marred my left breast (lumpectomy) and totally took my right breast which has since been reconstructed and thankfully turned out looking pretty normal. I have migraines, stomach issues, light gloucoma, and nerve damage in my feet as well as other issues but darn it I have worked hard to be here and so have you, you are a survivor a person who has worked darned hard to be where you are today. You deserve the right to enjoy your life and to have happy times. Yes we still have cancer cells roaming around inside of us, they may come active or they may remain dormant which ever it turns out to be while they are dormant they certainly have no right to make all of your day's unhappy! Please talk to your doctor and although the "when is cancer going to return" monster always rears its head please know there are many times out there and you deserve to enjoy them. My cancer journey started in 1997, yes it has returned and currently has been dormant for 4.5 years, in that time I have had good and bad days thankfully more good than bad! I wish you all the best!!!
My coping has been to be busy and to distract. I didnt spend my time worrying about it before diagnosis. So when that spector occurs, I tell myself "well its not today" sometimes I think I worry as a means to try to control something I know I cannot. The serenity parayer helps me. I have heard those words 3 times and other news along with it, and I know I will deal with it again if and when it happens again. I fight to stay positive and appreciate every day. I also see a counselor to just handle stress in general . Hugs. it gets better.0 -
I refuse to give 'cancer' another moment of my time ---carkris said:My coping has been to be
My coping has been to be busy and to distract. I didnt spend my time worrying about it before diagnosis. So when that spector occurs, I tell myself "well its not today" sometimes I think I worry as a means to try to control something I know I cannot. The serenity parayer helps me. I have heard those words 3 times and other news along with it, and I know I will deal with it again if and when it happens again. I fight to stay positive and appreciate every day. I also see a counselor to just handle stress in general . Hugs. it gets better.
Believe me when I say I was so angry when I was told that I had breast cancer -- as it was my 3rd bout with cancer. My option was a dense dose of chemo regimen -- that left me crawling, and unable to stand without shaking for 6 months. My choice. Again, I did not realize, nor what I told what a toll -- chemo would have on me, my body and my life. I lost so many so-so days with anger, or feeling sorry for myself. I refuse to allow cancer to have that control over my life .. it controlled too many months, and nights at it is.
Simply I took 1 thing that I was grateful or happy about .. wrote it down, and added 1 things each day. I also pushed myself each and every day .. to walk up the stairs 1 more time, or dance to 2 songs. Movement or sitting outside, just made my world a little brighter ..
True, I am not dealing with a recurrence from breast cancer, but breast cancer .. is ... my 'recurrence' after thyroid cancer and cervical cancer. I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer when I was 26 years of age ..
It is so difficult this journey that we walk .. All I can say, is grab joy anywhere you see it, and hang on tightly.
Strength, Courage and Hope.
Vicki Sam0 -
I refuse to give 'cancer' another moment of my time ---carkris said:My coping has been to be
My coping has been to be busy and to distract. I didnt spend my time worrying about it before diagnosis. So when that spector occurs, I tell myself "well its not today" sometimes I think I worry as a means to try to control something I know I cannot. The serenity parayer helps me. I have heard those words 3 times and other news along with it, and I know I will deal with it again if and when it happens again. I fight to stay positive and appreciate every day. I also see a counselor to just handle stress in general . Hugs. it gets better.
Believe me when I say I was so angry when I was told that I had breast cancer -- as it was my 3rd bout with cancer. My option was a dense dose of chemo regimen -- that left me crawling, and unable to stand without shaking for 6 months. My choice. Again, I did not realize, nor what I told what a toll -- chemo would have on me, my body and my life. I lost so many so-so days with anger, or feeling sorry for myself. I refuse to allow cancer to have that control over my life .. it controlled so much of my life -- for far too long.
Simply I took 1 thing that I was grateful or happy about .. wrote it down, and added 1 things each day. I also pushed myself each and every day .. to walk up the stairs 1 more time, or dance to 2 songs. Movement or sitting outside, just made my world a little brighter ..
True, I am not dealing with a recurrence from breast cancer, but breast cancer .. is ... my 'recurrence' after thyroid cancer and cervical cancer. I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer when I was 26 years of age ..
It is so difficult this journey that we walk .. All I can say, is grab joy anywhere you see it, and hang on tightly.
Strength, Courage and Hope.
Vicki Sam0 -
Absolutely so hard at times!VickiSam said:I refuse to give 'cancer' another moment of my time ---
Believe me when I say I was so angry when I was told that I had breast cancer -- as it was my 3rd bout with cancer. My option was a dense dose of chemo regimen -- that left me crawling, and unable to stand without shaking for 6 months. My choice. Again, I did not realize, nor what I told what a toll -- chemo would have on me, my body and my life. I lost so many so-so days with anger, or feeling sorry for myself. I refuse to allow cancer to have that control over my life .. it controlled too many months, and nights at it is.
Simply I took 1 thing that I was grateful or happy about .. wrote it down, and added 1 things each day. I also pushed myself each and every day .. to walk up the stairs 1 more time, or dance to 2 songs. Movement or sitting outside, just made my world a little brighter ..
True, I am not dealing with a recurrence from breast cancer, but breast cancer .. is ... my 'recurrence' after thyroid cancer and cervical cancer. I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer when I was 26 years of age ..
It is so difficult this journey that we walk .. All I can say, is grab joy anywhere you see it, and hang on tightly.
Strength, Courage and Hope.
Vicki Sam
I screamed and cried and grieved for a full month after my surgery july 7, ended up in the er and now under intensive counseling and medication for depression. As well as Xanax when needed! Starting new chemo tomorrow, oral xeloda with 28 rads. Not fun!
The things helping me today are staying in the moment...because worrying about the future literally drives me nuts. Last week I felt on the verge of a breakdown from the stress of trying to deal all at once with all things that might happen in this journey. It is a very tough road. I'm doing cognitive behavior therapy with a lot of emphasis on mindfulness and staying in the moment. Anxiety is one of my big issues and had been for a long time before my cancer diagnosis. Right mow I am trying to manage that and accept that I ultimately don't have control over the outcome of all the treatment that I've done and continue to do. Accepting that is one if the hardest lessons I have ever been given.
I don't know what else to say except to say hang in there and that we only have to deal with this situation one day at a time.
Wishing you all the best,
Laura0 -
Chemo is not easy. You have
Chemo is not easy. You have had more than your share these last 3 years of all things cancer related. It's ok to feel sorry for yourself and have some pity on all you have been thru, but for a time. Give yourself a time limit and then try to move on to something positive, stay in the moment, focus on something happy and if you believe in a Higher Power ultimately all we can really do after we have done everything we can humanly do is "Let go and Let God". I felt empowered belive it or not because I could choose my doctors and choose the action and treatment for this cancer and then I had to leave the rest to a Higer power. You are a strong brave woman. I am so impressed with you after all you have endured these last 3 years. Hang in there and fight like a girl. (((HUGS)))0 -
Another. Reply....natly15 said:Chemo is not easy. You have
Chemo is not easy. You have had more than your share these last 3 years of all things cancer related. It's ok to feel sorry for yourself and have some pity on all you have been thru, but for a time. Give yourself a time limit and then try to move on to something positive, stay in the moment, focus on something happy and if you believe in a Higher Power ultimately all we can really do after we have done everything we can humanly do is "Let go and Let God". I felt empowered belive it or not because I could choose my doctors and choose the action and treatment for this cancer and then I had to leave the rest to a Higer power. You are a strong brave woman. I am so impressed with you after all you have endured these last 3 years. Hang in there and fight like a girl. (((HUGS)))
Don't let chemo take you to these dark places....try to look at chemo as your "friend".....Chemo sucks!!! I treated it like PAC Man....in my body eating up those cancer cells....as nasty as chemo can be sometimes, aren't we grateful it's available?
Wishing you well....
Hugs, Nancy0 -
I did not go through all you
I did not go through all you did but I tried to not miss a beat..i had days of crying etc..dont' get me wrong but I thought the best when I could. ONE day I was slightly negative and my hubby said YOU SHOULD be more positive. I wanted to bite his head off! When I got called back for mammo I said IT"S NOTHING, when sent to biopsy I said OH I am sure it's nothing etc etc..so when down and out and told to be more UP BEAT grrrrrrrrrrr
Denise0 -
It was harder this last few
It was harder this last few weeks to get 'back up'. I have chemo on Wednesdays and by Sunday/Monday I was finding that positivity had gone out the window. Figured it had to be something physical so when I saw the PA, I asked her to check vitamin levels etc. She called a couple of days later and told me that my vit D level was 12 and should never be lower than 32, she said it can cause fatigue, depression, cramping and can cause heart issues. So I am now taking 50,000 iu's once a week. My body is not absorbing vitamins and minerals (or loosing them with all the trips to the restroom after chemo). Now on Potassium, calcium, upped dose of Vitamin D, and I give myself a shot of vitamin B-12 once a month in addition to thyroid meds, evista, gabapentin and pain meds.
I also work hard on my mental and spiritual side to try and stay balanced. Venting here helps also! It is so nice to know that there is someone else out there in cyberspace who understands what I am feeling.
I volunteered with hospice and saw the difference in the families where the patient was positive. The journey was so much easier for their families as well as the caregivers. Even with terminal illness staring them down, there was love and laughter in their homes. It is so important to me to have happy and positive memories for my family.
Another thing that has really helped is planning something fun for Monday or Tuesday, it gives me something to look forward to following the chemo. It may be lunch with a friend, or spending planned time with one of my boys, a funny movie, or even a massage, pedicure or manicure. But it has made such a difference knowing there is a treat at the end of the cycle!
Even with all of this, I have accepted that there are going to be days where it is just not possible to be up! I am still waiting for a good scan result. The only good one was a false negative! Wednesday and Thursday I have all the scans, MRI, Bone and Pet Scans. So this time I am expecting the worst and hoping for the best. But I give myself time to work through all of it in my head and journal, and if I still can't get there, then I make an appointment with the counselor to help me navigate. If all else fails, it's Margarita time with the girls!0 -
Cindy is so right. Everyonemamolady said:Even people without cancer
Even people without cancer have bad days! Please remember that. I personally see a councilor to help me navigate this journey. The other thing that has saved my sanity is my girls. Mostly my oldest daughter. She comes out once a month to drag me out to do stuff. It doesn't hurt that she brings my grand kids too! I am always tired when she leaves but it is a good tired.
Try to keep the down days in check. How you do it is personal to you.
Big Hugs,
Cindy
Cindy is so right. Everyone has bad days, not just those of us with bc. But, if start having them every day, please seek a counselor. Sometimes we need help either with antidepressants or just speaking to a professional.
Good luck!0 -
Thank you for being positivecahjah75 said:I'm not sure
if anyone is positive all of the time. I try to focus on the now to get me through tomorrow. Sending you cyber hugs...
{{hugs}} Char
Very good suggestions. I added it to my favorites0
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