I was scheduled to do my Chemo last Friday and i was admitted to the hospital to do my first round of R-CHOP. I was to scared to go through with the Chemo and ended up telling my Dr i was not going to do it.. I know i have to do it but i am so scared and i feel really bad for not doing it, i feel like a coward. How does everyone deal with having to go through with this. I am not affraid of the CHOP part of the chemo its the R because i have heard of people having bad reactions to it and i am very affriad of dying. I want to be here for my son and family.... I just have no idea in how to handle this..