my first Amoxifin

sinee

I just took my first Amoxifin or the Generic one anyways called Anastrozole, sounds like a pasta, doesnt' it. Anyway, I procrastinated for 2 weeks. Just anxious about all the potenial side effects. I want to feel good again, I hope that is not to much to ask. I am starting to alienate the ones I love. And I imagine it is just out of fear of the unknown again. I will be ok, as I am letting the tears roll down my face right now.
I have finished, chemo, surgery, radiation..it is all finished. What does that mean? I feel like someone should tell me. I have been reduced to taking a pill a day after living a year in hell. Interesting. Anyway those are my thoughts, I am sure others have had them or simular ones. What a ride. I guess I can jump off now, and be on my merry way, but someone has forgotten to tell me what direction to go in. Where was I going before cancer? and how do I get going there again? I will figure it out I suppose. Have a good night everyone. Love to all my fellow travelers. Sinee

grams2jc

Boy do I get it
You sound exactly like I have felt for the last 4 weeks. OK....surgery, check...chemo,check...rads,check...start Tamoxifen,check...go to the MO, go to the RO, go to the gyno, go to the rheumatologist, check,check,check and check. NOW what? If I didn't know I had it the first time how will I know if I have it again? What WAS I doing 9 months ago before this hellish ride started? Lots of questions, no answers other than to have 4 docs tell me I will just know and to watch any symptoms that last more than just a few days..Great..now I will be a hypochondriac, LOL.

I am trying, and I must say not wearing my wig and having a really good day yesterday has made a positive difference for me. It isn't to say I won't be down again, I'm sure I will, but at least I had 1 day that cancer didn't creep into my thoughts during every activity, and I know I must be feeling better because there are some walls in this house that need paint and some rearranging that needs to be done...but not today.

We are on this scary ride together, it's bumpy, it's giving me motion sickness, but we've got buddies here to hold our hands and help us along.

Hang in there, sounds like you are normal to me,

Jennifer

sinee

grams2jc said:

Boy do I get it
You sound exactly like I have felt for the last 4 weeks. OK....surgery, check...chemo,check...rads,check...start Tamoxifen,check...go to the MO, go to the RO, go to the gyno, go to the rheumatologist, check,check,check and check. NOW what? If I didn't know I had it the first time how will I know if I have it again? What WAS I doing 9 months ago before this hellish ride started? Lots of questions, no answers other than to have 4 docs tell me I will just know and to watch any symptoms that last more than just a few days..Great..now I will be a hypochondriac, LOL.

I am trying, and I must say not wearing my wig and having a really good day yesterday has made a positive difference for me. It isn't to say I won't be down again, I'm sure I will, but at least I had 1 day that cancer didn't creep into my thoughts during every activity, and I know I must be feeling better because there are some walls in this house that need paint and some rearranging that needs to be done...but not today.

We are on this scary ride together, it's bumpy, it's giving me motion sickness, but we've got buddies here to hold our hands and help us along.

Hang in there, sounds like you are normal to me,

Jennifer

Thank you!
Thanks Jennifer, good to know I am not losing it, at least not this time...I couldn't believe the drive home from the last radiation, I was glad I was alone. I cried most of the way home, and at the same time I was thinking, I should be happy, it is over, I should be all giddy, I should be, I should be this and that...well I wasn't any of that, I was depressed and scared and so alone...and it is all so very strange still. So thanks for posting and answering my post...glad it is summer, my hair is short, looks like I just got out of the army, and I say good, no bad hair days..lol..love to you, and thanks so much for posting..Sineee

butterflylvr

sinee said:

Thank you!
Thanks Jennifer, good to know I am not losing it, at least not this time...I couldn't believe the drive home from the last radiation, I was glad I was alone. I cried most of the way home, and at the same time I was thinking, I should be happy, it is over, I should be all giddy, I should be, I should be this and that...well I wasn't any of that, I was depressed and scared and so alone...and it is all so very strange still. So thanks for posting and answering my post...glad it is summer, my hair is short, looks like I just got out of the army, and I say good, no bad hair days..lol..love to you, and thanks so much for posting..Sineee

My last rad day was
My last rad day was bittersweet too... I guess for me it was more the emotional and physical turmoil of "harsh" treatments was now over. But yet at the same time it was like, you had peace of mind knowing as long as you were being treated those nasty cells weren't growing. I guess the way I look at things now.. this pill we are taking for the next five years will give me at least five years of some peace of mind knowing treatments are still continuing deep inside.

Hugs girlfriends.. I am so proud of both you warriors.
Lorrie