Mum diagnosed with colorectal stage IV and given 3 months to live.

iskandar05

Hi all, im a newbie to this forum. I just need an outlet to vent my feelings out to someone but dont know who ): my mum was diagnosed with stage IV colorectal cancer at the age of 46 around mid-august on 2010. i didnt know it was stage 4 at the start of diagnosis as she tells me it was stage 1. my aunt was the one who broke the news to me that she was already at stage IV at the start of diagnosis. shes had 9 chemo sessions and the doctor said shes had enough and let her rest at home and wont be receiving anymore chemo. i broke down immediately. i dont know know what to do! i love her so much )': im only 18 and shouldnt be experincing all this ): the doctor gave my mum 3 months to live. she had colon cancer that had spread to her liver and lungs. i really dont want to lose my mother. shes my pillar of strength. shes everything. im very close to her. surgery was not an option as the "cancer had spread everywhere". shes pretty much active right now.. but i dont know how it'll be like 3 months from now.. ): i keep crying in school in toilet where nobody sees me. one moment im fine, the next i just broke down.. are there any survivors out there who had almost the same situation? Please reply.. ):

John23

iskandar05 -

I had one oncologist tell me I was a stage 3c, and another insist
I was a stage four...... Both felt that with chemo, my time was
limited to around 3-4 years. Without chemo, I had -0- time.

That was in 2006. I never did chemo, I chose to do imported
Chinese herbs instead.

A "prognosis" is based on the size of the tumor and it's rate
of growth; they try to determine how long it will take for that
tumor to grow large enough to kill you.

Anything that can be done to stifle the growth of that tumor,
changes the prognosis.

And of course..... anything that works without terrible side-effects,
can greatly enhance the survival rates and quality of life.

There are many ways to fight cancer; never limit yourself to
only one way.

Best wishes,

John

iskandar05

John23 said:

iskandar05 -

I had one oncologist tell me I was a stage 3c, and another insist
I was a stage four...... Both felt that with chemo, my time was
limited to around 3-4 years. Without chemo, I had -0- time.

That was in 2006. I never did chemo, I chose to do imported
Chinese herbs instead.

A "prognosis" is based on the size of the tumor and it's rate
of growth; they try to determine how long it will take for that
tumor to grow large enough to kill you.

Anything that can be done to stifle the growth of that tumor,
changes the prognosis.

And of course..... anything that works without terrible side-effects,
can greatly enhance the survival rates and quality of life.

There are many ways to fight cancer; never limit yourself to
only one way.

Best wishes,

John

Thank you for your reply
im planning to make an appointment with another doctor of another hospital as a second option. gave the hospital a ring today and explain my mums condition and he said its best that my mum consulted a second option and never limit to one. other than that, ill try to surf the net to find some remedies that would help her. thank you for taking the time to reply. - iskandar (:

iskandar05

John23 said:

iskandar05 -

I had one oncologist tell me I was a stage 3c, and another insist
I was a stage four...... Both felt that with chemo, my time was
limited to around 3-4 years. Without chemo, I had -0- time.

That was in 2006. I never did chemo, I chose to do imported
Chinese herbs instead.

A "prognosis" is based on the size of the tumor and it's rate
of growth; they try to determine how long it will take for that
tumor to grow large enough to kill you.

Anything that can be done to stifle the growth of that tumor,
changes the prognosis.

And of course..... anything that works without terrible side-effects,
can greatly enhance the survival rates and quality of life.

There are many ways to fight cancer; never limit yourself to
only one way.

Best wishes,

John

Thank you for your reply
im planning to make an appointment with another doctor of another hospital as a second option. gave the hospital a ring today and explain my mums condition and he said its best that my mum consulted a second option and never limit to one. other than that, ill try to surf the net to find some remedies that would help her. thank you for taking the time to reply. - iskandar (:

Lovekitties

Second opinion is good
I am glad to see you are going to get a second opinion. No one doctor has all the answers.

There are folks here how have been given dire prognosis and have gone on to live in spite of it.

I hope that with a new opinion there are some good options for your mum.

Please hold fast to your hope.

Marie who loves kitties

iskandar05

Lovekitties said:

Second opinion is good
I am glad to see you are going to get a second opinion. No one doctor has all the answers.

There are folks here how have been given dire prognosis and have gone on to live in spite of it.

I hope that with a new opinion there are some good options for your mum.

Please hold fast to your hope.

Marie who loves kitties

Hope
i havent stop hoping and wishing that she would recover. ive read stories of how cancer survivors been diagnose with stage IV colon cancer with mets to the liver and lungs, and live for a very long time. i really wished that happened to my mum. i will hold fast to my hope.
thank you so much for your reply (:

pscott1

iskandar05 said:

Hope
i havent stop hoping and wishing that she would recover. ive read stories of how cancer survivors been diagnose with stage IV colon cancer with mets to the liver and lungs, and live for a very long time. i really wished that happened to my mum. i will hold fast to my hope.
thank you so much for your reply (:

Don't go with the first opinion.
I was Stage II then found out I had mets to my liver (30 lesions) in both lobes; became Stage IV. My first Onc told me I had maybe 4 1/2 years, inoperable, no radiation. I went for 2nd opinion and am on my 6th round of Folfox w/Avastin. My CEA has gone down from 337 to 2.9 and my lesions are shrinking. NEVER give up. Keep searching for other options. Don't let her give up either. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers!

Hugs,

Pam

tootsie1

Sorry
I'm so sorry about your mom, but I do agree with those who have said to get other opinions and see what options there might be. Praying you find something that will help her.

*hugs*
Gail

iskandar05

pscott1 said:

Don't go with the first opinion.
I was Stage II then found out I had mets to my liver (30 lesions) in both lobes; became Stage IV. My first Onc told me I had maybe 4 1/2 years, inoperable, no radiation. I went for 2nd opinion and am on my 6th round of Folfox w/Avastin. My CEA has gone down from 337 to 2.9 and my lesions are shrinking. NEVER give up. Keep searching for other options. Don't let her give up either. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers!

Hugs,

Pam

heed your advice
ill heed your advice. but my mum hasnt agree to my idea of consulting another treatment maybe because she has to bear with the pain. i wont let her give up until she cures of cancer!

iskandar05

tootsie1 said:

Sorry
I'm so sorry about your mom, but I do agree with those who have said to get other opinions and see what options there might be. Praying you find something that will help her.

*hugs*
Gail

thank you
thank you so much for your prayers. apart from seeking second option, im trying to find the best traditional medicine for her.

im doing all i can to improve her condition.

thank you so much for your concern (:

taraHK

So sorry
I am so sorry for everything you are going through right now.

May I suggest you take the "three months" prognosis with a huge grain of salt. NO-ONE knows how long she has -- even the best oncologist in the world. There are some remarkable stories on this discussion board of people -- including Stage IV -- who have outlived predictions....and are still going strong.

Meanwhile, you need to take care of yourself, darling. Do you have someone/people you can talk to --about everything that is going on? Sometimes it is valuable to talk with a counsellor or therapist....is that an option for you?

Sending loving prayers your way

Tara

lisa42

there is always hope
People do obviously die from cancer BUT I have heard so many stories of people who were told similar things like your mum that they only have X months left to live, yet they went and found a doctor(s) who were more positive and willing to fight for them & they have long outlived their original prognosis. There are other chemos to try if this first one didn't work for your mum!
In fact, I know of a few people on this board who were stage IV and are now NED (No Evidence of Disease). Some that have been so for several years now.
Although I am not NED, I have been going for awhile now. It's now been 4 years since my stage IV diagnosis and I'm still here, still plugging away, still doing okay. Now while it may seem depressing to you at first to hear of someone still doing chemo 4 years later, the fact remains that I am still here and am still able to function fairly well as a busy mother of 3 kids.

Only God knows what will happen to your mom- definitely seek out a second opinion, possibly even a third, preferably from a major cancer center not connected to where the current oncologist works out of. I will pray for your mum and for you, too-

Take care and keep the hope going-

Hugs,
Lisa

iskandar05

taraHK said:

So sorry
I am so sorry for everything you are going through right now.

May I suggest you take the "three months" prognosis with a huge grain of salt. NO-ONE knows how long she has -- even the best oncologist in the world. There are some remarkable stories on this discussion board of people -- including Stage IV -- who have outlived predictions....and are still going strong.

Meanwhile, you need to take care of yourself, darling. Do you have someone/people you can talk to --about everything that is going on? Sometimes it is valuable to talk with a counsellor or therapist....is that an option for you?

Sending loving prayers your way

Tara

no one is there
i have no one to talk to about this. im not even close to my dad let alone talk openly about my personal problems.

i admit, this incident really made me more mature in a sense that its time i stand on my own two feets. my elder sister started talking to me about how shes feeling and all. she doesnt used to do this but eversince my mum was dx, she started taking me as her bestfriend. so i guess shes the only person i can confide into (:

ill try talking to a counsellor if its too much for me to handle. thank you so so so much for your concern! (:

iskandar05

lisa42 said:

there is always hope
People do obviously die from cancer BUT I have heard so many stories of people who were told similar things like your mum that they only have X months left to live, yet they went and found a doctor(s) who were more positive and willing to fight for them & they have long outlived their original prognosis. There are other chemos to try if this first one didn't work for your mum!
In fact, I know of a few people on this board who were stage IV and are now NED (No Evidence of Disease). Some that have been so for several years now.
Although I am not NED, I have been going for awhile now. It's now been 4 years since my stage IV diagnosis and I'm still here, still plugging away, still doing okay. Now while it may seem depressing to you at first to hear of someone still doing chemo 4 years later, the fact remains that I am still here and am still able to function fairly well as a busy mother of 3 kids.

Only God knows what will happen to your mom- definitely seek out a second opinion, possibly even a third, preferably from a major cancer center not connected to where the current oncologist works out of. I will pray for your mum and for you, too-

Take care and keep the hope going-

Hugs,
Lisa

wish you a recovery (:
thats really uplifting and inspiring (: i really wished my mum was in the NED position right now but all hope is not lost, she has yet to go for her second option treatment.

hope you recover from cancer as well! god bless you, lisa (:

luvmum

I feel for you
Hi dear,

We are in the same boat and you are not alone. I totally understand how your feel. My mum was dx late Oct 2010. She was also only given months to live but I chose not to believe it. My mum is also very sensitive to chemo... seeing her suffer break my heart. But we have to be strong, both physically and mentally to support them.

I hope all of our mums will live a happy and healthy life!
Love Dora

PhillieG

Cancer
Sorry to hear about your Mum. I was diagnosed at age 46 with stage IV colon cancer. I didn't ask "how long" and they didn't tell. That's because they do not know how people will respond to treatment. They don't know if if they say they do, then find another oncologist.
It sounds like your Mum wanted to protect you from her diagnosis. It's highly unlikely that anyone goes from stage I to stage IV that quickly. It takes time to grow.

It sounds like she is not getting the best care that is out there, I would seriously look into changing oncologists/hospitals.
BTW: I'm almost 54 now and have been living with stage IV colon cancer for 7 1/2 years. It's certainly not a death sentence.
My best to the both of you.
-phil

northernlites

PhillieG said:

Cancer
Sorry to hear about your Mum. I was diagnosed at age 46 with stage IV colon cancer. I didn't ask "how long" and they didn't tell. That's because they do not know how people will respond to treatment. They don't know if if they say they do, then find another oncologist.
It sounds like your Mum wanted to protect you from her diagnosis. It's highly unlikely that anyone goes from stage I to stage IV that quickly. It takes time to grow.

It sounds like she is not getting the best care that is out there, I would seriously look into changing oncologists/hospitals.
BTW: I'm almost 54 now and have been living with stage IV colon cancer for 7 1/2 years. It's certainly not a death sentence.
My best to the both of you.
-phil

Phil your story is very
Phil,your story is very inspiring... my dr has not told me what stage my cancer is/was. i had all of my colon removed and 43 lymph nodes removed that were cancer free.

Tessa

iskandar05

luvmum said:

I feel for you
Hi dear,

We are in the same boat and you are not alone. I totally understand how your feel. My mum was dx late Oct 2010. She was also only given months to live but I chose not to believe it. My mum is also very sensitive to chemo... seeing her suffer break my heart. But we have to be strong, both physically and mentally to support them.

I hope all of our mums will live a happy and healthy life!
Love Dora

wish your mum a recovery
its comforting to know im not the only one facing this situation. how is your mum doing? i hope shes doing fine (: nothing beats than seeing your loved ones suffer ):

yeah, may our mums live a healthy and happy life!!!

jasminsaba

northernlites said:

Phil your story is very
Phil,your story is very inspiring... my dr has not told me what stage my cancer is/was. i had all of my colon removed and 43 lymph nodes removed that were cancer free.

Tessa

My pick me up ...
Phil - I have to confess ... I have been using your story as my pick-me-up for the past couple of weeks. "Meeting" folks who have survived late stage colon cancer and dealt with it as we would with any other chronic disease has given me a lot of hope and for that, I thank you.

You're in my prayers for continuing success with this challenge and I hope one day, you and I can get on here and declare the availability of a definitive cure for this awful disease.