anyone had this chemo side effect?

Marianne313

My aunt's fingernails split from side to side, what I mean is, they start splitting in the middle part (but on the side toward the center)it's horrible. It's almost like when you hit your fingernail and it bends backwards and cracks from left to right in the center of your finger, only hers split on each side and go toward the center a bit on each side.

She also has gotten leg cramps (charlie horses) in her legs but only on the nights she's had each chemo treatment. She's had two treatments so she's had two nights of leg cramps and that's it, her 3rd treatment is this Thursday 28th, then the Dr. wants her to go for another CT scan, chest xray and abdominal sonogram on the 8th of August and then see him the 10th to discuss whether or not the treatmens are working and if they're not then what the next steps might be.

Talking with her this past Saturday, she seems to think she's fading faster than anyone thought. When I asked her if there was pain or discomfort she said no, it's just a feeling she has that she will die soon. I'm a big believer in the idea that people "know" when their time is soon (when they're sick--not like in sudden deaths i.e., car accidents n such). She says she's ok with dying but she's not ok with dying before she gets "everything" done. I told her to make a list of everything and anything she can think of that she wants done, from finances, to planning her own funeral, to laundry or dusting and then to number them in the order she would like them done first and that I would help her do her list so she doesn't stress over that. I have no idea if that was the right thing to say to her or not. Now I'm thinking that she might take that as "I want her list done so she can die sooner" or maybe....hell, I don't know.

She complains about not having time to herself or being able to go to the grocery store alone, but when I don't go to her home she'll call and say "you are off Friday, right?" I'll say yes, she always says "then you could come up Thursday night and stay" and I will because I think she wants me there, then on Sunday I'll tell her I'm going to pack things to go home and she'll say "you can just do your laundry here and leave in the morning and go to work from here" and when she says she's going to the grocery store I've tried just saying ok and continuing to read my book or do a puzzle and then she's say (rather irritated) "are you ready"!? We get outside and she says "you drive". (like I always do anyway). I just don't understand and it's so hard trying to let her have her privacy and independence when she seems to never want me away from her.

I'm sorry for the long mail, I'm just so confused.
Thanks for reading.
Marianne

rogina2336

Hi Marianne, I don't know if
Hi Marianne, I don't know if this helps you or not, but my husband has certain things that he knows he can no longer do in the way that he used to, so he either gets angry or has a humorous way or excuse to get someone else to do it for him without admitting he cannot do it. Even though at times it is very hard on me and his family we play along it makes him feel better about himself (perhaps a bit of denial) and understandably so. he also had leg cramps at first, but he was a little dehydrated at the time and does not have them anymore. Hopes and Prayers to you and your family Kim

Lovekitties

Dear Marianne
I can understand your confusion as you seem to be getting mixed signals from your aunt, which is not unusual in her situation.

You don't mention how old she is or what her personal circumstances were (single? married? widowed? divorced?). Those things can be factors in her behavior.

I am 64 and was divorced when my children were very young. I became very independant because I had to. I was used to handling everything myself, even though I had family to call on.

When I was diagnosed, I wanted to keep things that way as well. Deal with it and move on with minimal interaction from my family. That was my independance talking. My heart really wanted and needed their support, which they gave freely to whatever extent I let them.

With a diagnosis like cancer, it is not unusual to think in terms of 'getting your things in order', particularly for us older folks. I know I postponed my surgery by a month because I wan't ready...had to get things in order so as not to leave alot for my kids to deal with. While your aunt may say she feels as if she is fading, it also might just be that diagnosis and treatments have put her emotions in the basement...also not unusual.

It seems you have an open relationship with your aunt and talk about things. Be honest with her, let her know you want to help her as much as she needs and wants, but you also don't want her to feel that you are taking anything away from her. I think her comments about independence are probably more that she wishes she could be, but realizes she can't.

She is very fortunate to have a loving, caring niece such as you.

Marie who loves kitties

pepebcn

Lovekitties said:

Dear Marianne
I can understand your confusion as you seem to be getting mixed signals from your aunt, which is not unusual in her situation.

You don't mention how old she is or what her personal circumstances were (single? married? widowed? divorced?). Those things can be factors in her behavior.

I am 64 and was divorced when my children were very young. I became very independant because I had to. I was used to handling everything myself, even though I had family to call on.

When I was diagnosed, I wanted to keep things that way as well. Deal with it and move on with minimal interaction from my family. That was my independance talking. My heart really wanted and needed their support, which they gave freely to whatever extent I let them.

With a diagnosis like cancer, it is not unusual to think in terms of 'getting your things in order', particularly for us older folks. I know I postponed my surgery by a month because I wan't ready...had to get things in order so as not to leave alot for my kids to deal with. While your aunt may say she feels as if she is fading, it also might just be that diagnosis and treatments have put her emotions in the basement...also not unusual.

It seems you have an open relationship with your aunt and talk about things. Be honest with her, let her know you want to help her as much as she needs and wants, but you also don't want her to feel that you are taking anything away from her. I think her comments about independence are probably more that she wishes she could be, but realizes she can't.

She is very fortunate to have a loving, caring niece such as you.

Marie who loves kitties

Just keep calmed as leg cramps and broken fingernails are
very common side effects from chemo!.
Nothing to do with going worst!.
Hugs dear Marianne !

HollyID

Hi Marianne,
It's been a long time since I've posted in this forum, but just had to comment on your post.

I doesn't surprise me about your Aunt's fingernails. If hair can be brittle, the nails can be too since their basically made of the same keratin.

I remember having leg cramps too. I drank more water and that seemed to help it clear up.

My mother is just a little older than your Aunt. My mother is almost 85 and I'm 48. My mothers behavior mirrors that of your aunt. I think it's a mixture of loneliness and just being overwhelmed. I know my mother is very lonely. She'd love it if someone moved in with her. And then again, she hate it because she feels she's been invaded and that person would be taking her "alone time" away. She lives alone. All nine of her kids moved out and left the ranch except all four brothers live close enough to throw a rock at. She's not really alone. She hates the thought of being alone. She secretly hopes that someone will move in with her to keep her company, but on the other hand, she doesn't want anyone there because that's her house. I also believe she is secretly freaking we're going to put her in a nursing home. I'm not sure where her anxiety lies, but it's there.

thxmiker

Chemo is effecting the cells
Chemo is effecting the cells that grow the fastest, hair, skin, fingernails, cancer, etc...

Dehydration is the cause of most cramps and headaches. I had to drink plenty of Electrolyte replacement drinks. (3-4 Liters every day.) Bananas also seemed to make me feel better. Not only from an electrolyte issue but easy to digest and something in my stomach.

I spoke to my Oncologist and asked why they do not tell us what is to come. His answer was that they did not want patients thinking they had symptoms earlier then they actually had them. The nurses were far better at telling me what to expect and how to deal with the issues.

I am 3 months after Chemo and my nails are starting to get stronger.

Best Always, mike

Marianne313

HollyID said:

Hi Marianne,
It's been a long time since I've posted in this forum, but just had to comment on your post.

I doesn't surprise me about your Aunt's fingernails. If hair can be brittle, the nails can be too since their basically made of the same keratin.

I remember having leg cramps too. I drank more water and that seemed to help it clear up.

My mother is just a little older than your Aunt. My mother is almost 85 and I'm 48. My mothers behavior mirrors that of your aunt. I think it's a mixture of loneliness and just being overwhelmed. I know my mother is very lonely. She'd love it if someone moved in with her. And then again, she hate it because she feels she's been invaded and that person would be taking her "alone time" away. She lives alone. All nine of her kids moved out and left the ranch except all four brothers live close enough to throw a rock at. She's not really alone. She hates the thought of being alone. She secretly hopes that someone will move in with her to keep her company, but on the other hand, she doesn't want anyone there because that's her house. I also believe she is secretly freaking we're going to put her in a nursing home. I'm not sure where her anxiety lies, but it's there.

Thank you Holly
While I hate the fact that others have cancer, I am grateful for the information I've learned due to the fact that others have "been there, done that".

As far as being concerned that someone will put my aunt in a nursing home, she only has 1 son and he has stage 3 esophageal cancer so he's not the one taking care of her, I am and my sister helps, as well as 1 of my brothers. So, she has 2 nieces and 1 nephew who take care of her. About a month ago I told her I had a question I'd like to ask her, she said ok, so I asked her if, when she got sicker and needed much more help, if she wanted to go to a nursing home/hospice or would rather be taken care of in her own home. Her response was something like "well, I'd like to stay home but I don't see that being a possibility". I told her if she wanted to be home and be taken care of then that is what we would give her. I'm well aware that it will be difficult, both mentally and physically for all involved but I also know that no one can take care of her like we would (most likely with the help of a hospice nurse at some point). My aunt didn't reply, but I like to think it calmed at least that one fear of going to a nursing home.

Today I will only work til 11:30a.m. then I will go to her home, she has an appt. with a lawyer to go over her will the final time and tomorrow is her 3rd chemo treatment. On the 10th we see her Dr. again to discuss how treatment is going and if anything needs to be changed or stopped, depending how things are going.

Thank you for your story about your mom. I wish I knew what to wish for and most importantly that the wish would come true.

Take care,
Marianne

Marianne313

thxmiker said:

Chemo is effecting the cells
Chemo is effecting the cells that grow the fastest, hair, skin, fingernails, cancer, etc...

Dehydration is the cause of most cramps and headaches. I had to drink plenty of Electrolyte replacement drinks. (3-4 Liters every day.) Bananas also seemed to make me feel better. Not only from an electrolyte issue but easy to digest and something in my stomach.

I spoke to my Oncologist and asked why they do not tell us what is to come. His answer was that they did not want patients thinking they had symptoms earlier then they actually had them. The nurses were far better at telling me what to expect and how to deal with the issues.

I am 3 months after Chemo and my nails are starting to get stronger.

Best Always, mike

cramps
Hi Mike,

She only gets (so far) leg cramps the night she has the chemo. I seem to be fighting to not let depression settle in on me. I hate knowing the outcome for my aunt is final and soon but at the same time I am very grateful for the time I've had with her. I know many die suddenly and very young with no time for making more memories and no time for a last hug or chat. I told my aunt to not eat too many bananas due to them possibly causing more diarrhea and she has that pretty bad most days. Immodium AD helps but not enough to make her feel secure enough to go out anywhere.

Thank you for your post. I appreciate all information I receive here.

Marianne

Marianne313

pepebcn said:

Just keep calmed as leg cramps and broken fingernails are
very common side effects from chemo!.
Nothing to do with going worst!.
Hugs dear Marianne !

Kim/Marie/Pepe
Thank you for commenting on these issues.

I was pretty sure the leg cramps were a side effect, I just didn't know about the fingernails.

I bought liquid bandaid to "paint her fingernails" in hopes that it helps keep them from tearing and bleeding as easy as they seem to do.

I can't recall what everyone said that I wanted to comment on so please just know that I do read what you say and appreciate very much the time you take to respond to my questions, comments, complaints or just my rambling. I feel better each time I read things people have to say regarding their issues and how they dealt with them or what their Dr.s have said.

Thank you all so very much.

Marianne p.s. (the hugs help too, thank you)

westie66

Marianne313 said:

cramps
Hi Mike,

She only gets (so far) leg cramps the night she has the chemo. I seem to be fighting to not let depression settle in on me. I hate knowing the outcome for my aunt is final and soon but at the same time I am very grateful for the time I've had with her. I know many die suddenly and very young with no time for making more memories and no time for a last hug or chat. I told my aunt to not eat too many bananas due to them possibly causing more diarrhea and she has that pretty bad most days. Immodium AD helps but not enough to make her feel secure enough to go out anywhere.

Thank you for your post. I appreciate all information I receive here.

Marianne

Imodium AD
Hi: I find that Lomotil works better than Imodium AD for the diarrhea. It is available with prescription.
Cheryl