I'm back :)

dorion

Hello!!!

It's been a long time, huh?
So, unfortunately I haven't got a chance to check in on anybody, I took a break from here for a while, I needed time to myself, sort everything out and whatnot. For those of you that aren't Facebook friends with me, I chopped my longgg hair off. Poof. Gone. I had more than 15 inches taken off that day, donated it to Locks Of Love!!! It felt soooooo awesome! I now have a super duper awesome pixie cut It's the best. Also, now that I have let everything settle in, I still don't like it... but, I am used to it. School is only about a week away, I am all set. I think now that I am settled into everything, I am going to like school a lot more this year. My new haircut, I don't know, it's given me this whole new attitude, and I like it. .
I feel like a powerful woman-child. Like I can take over the world and nothing will stop me! Anyways, plus, the previous year was hard, and everything went by so fast (including school, which is a plus), I made it through all that, and I am fine. Yes, slightly dramatic at times, but I am a teenager, HELLO!?!?!
My dad and I are getting along much better now, he's still the same, but I realize now, haha, all men are pretty dumb, occasionally, if you're lucky, you get a decent one, but after hanging out with him and his "man buddies"... they're all the same. No matter how hard you try to reason with them, they won't budge, just ignore them. Idiot. Uck...

It's officially been a year of my mom's passing, and you know, it's gotten a lot better. I have her in my heart, and in my mind, sometimes, it's like I can hear her, I have conversations with her in my head sometimes. Maybe I am crazy? Doesn't matter though, I am not doing anyone any harm by having conversations with my mother in my head It actually makes things better. I can vent to her, and tell her about my day, and it's almost like she's in the room with me . Anyways, I lit a candle for her on June 11th, a day before she passed, but I was with Candice and I wanted to do it with her.

Oh,oh!!! By the way, Candice is the best!! I've welcomed her into the family and it was stupid to dislike her because she wasn't my mom. I love her like a mom, now, nobody is going to replace my real mom, but she's like one of my many second, third, fourth and so on Mom's I have in my life. She let's me vent about dad, and even though she still attempts to make excuses for him, I just tell her to stop and I just want to vent and she'll totally understand. I can be myself around her and I love her. I really do. My dad is happier around her, too. Even though I have made some encounters with some disturbing "Toys".... Uhm... Yeah, I had to add that LOL. SERIOUSLY, I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN THE BATHROOM AND I SWEAR TO GOD I WASN'T LOOKING FOR IT!! I just went to take a shower and I usually go in her room because she has the BEST BATHROOM EVER, and just there, on the counter, not in a bag or anything, just on the counter like nobody can see it. REALLY?!?! Well, I mean, to be honest sex is a beautiful thing, but, should probably stay behind closed doors.... LOCKED DOORS, STEEL, SOUNDPROOF, DOORS!!!!

Yep

I'd also like to say I was really upset when I heard about Susan and Nancy. I didn't know either of them very well, but Susan usually had some really good advice to give me, and she was so kind, and she would always post things on my wall to make my day I had a chance to see her when she came to Hawaii, but I couldn't do it because it was during a school day and my dad didn't know who she was, but she's probably in a much better place now. Nancy, I didn't know at all, but I believe she had two sons? My heart goes out to those little boys. Gosh they look so young! That's tough because they probably don't even fully understand! Cancer is the worst! They were both two beautiful ladies and will be missed so much!

Anyways, I'll shut up now.
But, I'd really like to know how all of you are doing!!
I can't thank you enough for the support and I hope you all are doing wonderfully.
Cancer doesn't beat us, we beat cancer :P

-Megs.

paris11

MEGS --- YOU ROCK !!!
Here's to a SPECTACULAR school year.

Thanks for the update. If you ever find yourself in Chicago, give me a jingle.

Connie

Barbara53

hey girl
Hey Megs, something told me to check in on this forum today, and there you are. I smiled so big about you accepting your stepmother. I was one once, and a darn good one, but it took a while for my stepdaughter to see that I watched her back better than her father did.

My mother is in her last days now, and I was just thinking of you yesterday, and how much I learned from you and Linda. Bless you, girl!

leesag

I'm so glad to hear you're doing well Meghan! I know it was a difficult transition for you. I lost my mom when I was 20, and I can tell you this, there's never an easy time for that kind of loss. For the record, I still have conversations with my mom in my head! I'm glad you found a bond with Candice (Sorry you found a vibrator, but you know parents DO have sex!)
I've been following you on facebook, just to check in, your hair is really cute! It looks awesome on you! Also, I love your photography! Keep it darlin'!

Hugs from Maryland!

Leesa

Cafewoman53

Congratulations !
So happy to hear you are doing well. You are a strong young woman who has made good choices for yourself. I did not 'know' your Mom I think I came on this board just after her death but you touched my heart with your loss. Keep up the good work !
Colleen

Hissy_Fitz

Cafewoman53 said:

Congratulations !
So happy to hear you are doing well. You are a strong young woman who has made good choices for yourself. I did not 'know' your Mom I think I came on this board just after her death but you touched my heart with your loss. Keep up the good work !
Colleen

I love your hair! I'm so
I love your hair! I'm so glad you posted this because so I get asked often, "Have you heard from Meghan?" and of course, I tell them whatever the latest Facebook posts said, but this is great. We all want to believe you will not forget us, and that maybe we had a hand, however small, in helping you thru some of the toughest hours of your life.

Carlene

mopar

GOOD TO HEAR FROM YOU!
And also glad to hear things have been improving for you. I just can't believe it's been a year since Linda left us - time flies much too fast. She is dearly missed here, that's for sure.

Thank you for updating us, Meghan. What grade are you going into? Keep us posted, and God Bless you!

Monika

kikz

mopar said:

GOOD TO HEAR FROM YOU!
And also glad to hear things have been improving for you. I just can't believe it's been a year since Linda left us - time flies much too fast. She is dearly missed here, that's for sure.

Thank you for updating us, Meghan. What grade are you going into? Keep us posted, and God Bless you!

Monika

You're right Megs,
you are a teenager. Full of vitality and a fresh look at life. But you also have the insight some adults don't have. I'm glad life is looking up for you. It is not strange that you talk to your mom; because she is in your heart and always will be. Heck, I talk to my cat which was silly enough when he was alive but I still do it because I feel him close to me. Whatever works. Good luck in school. And you're right, most men are pretty dumb but we are smart enough to deal with them.

Karen

dorion

Thanks for all of the nice
Thanks for all of the nice posts!!
I'll be posing stuff more regularly now.
I think this place has really helped me cope.

For those of you that joined while I was gone, WELCOME TO CSN!!

-Meghan

lindaprocopio

dorion said:

Thanks for all of the nice
Thanks for all of the nice posts!!
I'll be posing stuff more regularly now.
I think this place has really helped me cope.

For those of you that joined while I was gone, WELCOME TO CSN!!

-Meghan</p>

(((Meghan)))!!! Happy to see you posting again!
Sounds like you really pulled it together, kiddo. You're a survivor. & clearly you're gonna be okay. A loss like you had leaves a hole in your heart that never fully heals. But that becomes a part of who you are, and honors your mother because it validates her existance on this earth as someone worthy of being missed. I am so glad that you feel her love around you and reach out for that love that truly never dies. I do the same with the people I have loved and lost; and believe completely that love is an energy that lingers forever if you stay aware and sensitive to it. You are mature beyond your years, honey. Be happy.

NCEllen

Great to hear from you
It was so good to see your post and of course I had to do a double take! It's not hard to tell that you are your mom's daughter - I could 'read' her in your note and it made me smile all over. I miss your mom too, but her words still give me strength. She was a welcoming soul on my journey and shared some very sweet moments when talking about her love for you. I'm so happy for you and the healing that is taking place in your life. We all continue to heal- it's never perfect, but getting on the road to acheive what we knew in a kinder time is all apart of the beauty of the opportunities life hands to us. Thanks for still being a part of 'us' as your mom will always be with us too.. Ellen

kayandok

Meghan,
please don't ever shut up! Hearing from you made my day! Love your hair and love the post.
You absoutely rock.
Hugs,
kathleen

clamryn

I love your post
Meghan, I love reading your post. It is so good to hear that you are doing good. I know it is so hard go through what you have. But you are wise beyond your years.

Keep on posting. I want to hear how you are doing.

Linda

jbeans888

I loved your post and I
I loved your post and I don't even know you. But everyone is right for telling you it's okay to talk to your Mom. I am sure she appreciates it and is listening. I think it is great. Welcome back.

Tina Brown

It is so nice to hear from you
It is so nice to hear from and to find out things are going well. It is tough to lose your mum - at any age. But talking to her in your head is a great way to cope. I lost my mum 2 years ago and I talk to her all the time. Someone once told me that if you look down and see a white feather on the ground it means that your guardian angel (your mum) is around you looking after you and making sure no harm comes to you. Well I see these random white feathers sometimes and in particular when I am feeling down. I know straight away that my mum is around me taking care of me and making sure I am OK. I saw one once in the entrance to the hospital when I went for my check up and when I got to see the oncologist it was good news.

It is a comforting thought to know your mum is there with you all the time and even though she can't speak to you, you kinda get the answer whenever you ask questions - you feel what her advice is. I know that sounds strange but that is what happens to me.

It is lovely to hear from you, take care. Tina xxxxx

MK_4Dani

Megs!!!
Hi girl, I have been following you on FB and happy that you are adjusting to your new situation. Love your new hair style! Stay out of that particular bathroom and shame on whoever didn't put things where they belong.
Have a good school year, work hard now and you will reap the benefits the rest of your life!
Mary