You Can Get Back to Normal After B/C!

Sunrae

Hello to all my wonderful and courageous sisters. It's been awhile since I've posted even tho I've stayed in contact with some of you and lurked here ever so often and kept tabs on what's happening here. Some of you know my history, Invasive Breast Cancer, (3 tumors)Stage 3, masectomy, 17 lymph nodes removed, chemo every week for 12 weeks and 35 radiation treatments. Then shingles hit which left me even more weakened and was on pain killers for 2 months. I have lymphadema in my right arm, have asthma and insulin dependent diabetes. I also had another round with a heart problem in June and found out that a beta-blocker I was on for a year was causing me problems with my asthma. Once taken off that, my health is starting to rebound and for the first time in a couple of years I'm able to do a lot of activities, including gardening, my passion.

I want to pass along some of the things I've learned during this whole process. Things do get rough when you're going thru treatment and so much seems to go wrong at times. There are days you just crawl thru, some you don't remember and some days you want to forget. Everyone who has been here knows you just "take one step at a time, one day at a time." I learned so much here on this board, what to expect and have been so encouraged by everyone. This is a wonderful site, informative, loving and encouraging and sometimes sad.
One thing that I heard over and over was causing me some concern. "You can't get back to normal. You have to accept your life with a 'new normal". (Words to that effect.)

I'm here to tell you that you can go back to your normal life after cancer. Just because we've lost a part of our body and had to go thru a lot of treatment doesn't mean we can't have our life back again. Sure, we may have to take cancer meds, take tests for awhile and there is always the concern about reoccurrence but cancer does not have to take our normal life away from us. Just as someone who has had a heart attack, lost an arm or leg, (or had other problems come along that takes their focus for a time being), get their lives back, we can too. Don't fall for that line that you will have to get used to the "new normal". Your life will be back to normal and for the most part you can enjoy the same life you did before B/C. Don't spend too much time on what's happened to you in the past or worrying about what may happen to you in the future. Start each day with thankfulness and look for the joy in each day. My prayers and hopes are that everyone of my cancer sisters can soon be healthy and full of life again and enjoy each day to the fullest. Love you all!

Clementine_P

Thank you
Sunrae, I couldn't agree with you more. I don't think I could have worded it any better! Getting back to normal is doable and I hope for nothing but health and happiness to everyone here.

Best wishes to you.

Clementine

sbmly53

Sunny Sunrae,
It's so wonderful to know that you are feeling better. Happy gardening!

Sue

Ticky

sbmly53 said:

Sunny Sunrae,
It's so wonderful to know that you are feeling better. Happy gardening!

Sue

Normal
Thank you for sharing such inspiring words with us, especially your advise to start each day with thankfulness and look for the joy in each day.

Hugs,

Ticky

VickiSam

Ticky said:

Normal
Thank you for sharing such inspiring words with us, especially your advise to start each day with thankfulness and look for the joy in each day.

Hugs,

Ticky

True words ... ...
We need to find the 'happy', or 'good' in each and every day. Whether we are crawling home from chemo therapy, or recovering from bilateral mastectomy -- or sporting a 2nd degree burn from radiation.

Eloquently stated.

I am thrilled that you are doing well, gardening and living your life!

KUDOS to you, Sunrae.

Strength, Courage and Hope.

Vicki Sam

mamolady

Thank you
Thank you for the positive side of things. It seems once people get through the rough spots, some stop posting. So we don't always hear the up side.
I for one am looking forward to normal, boring, uneventful for a bit. At least till the holiday season. Last year was a dud so I told my husband we are going crazy this year. I think I made him a little nervous.

Cindy

New Flower

mamolady said:

Thank you
Thank you for the positive side of things. It seems once people get through the rough spots, some stop posting. So we don't always hear the up side.
I for one am looking forward to normal, boring, uneventful for a bit. At least till the holiday season. Last year was a dud so I told my husband we are going crazy this year. I think I made him a little nervous.

Cindy

Great to see you
I am glad that you have been doing well.
Hugs to you

natly15

Sunrae it is so good to see
Sunrae it is so good to see your smiling face and your post. I agree we walk a tough road thru our treatment but need to remind ourselves "that this too shall pass" and we are a testament to that. Of course this certainly impacts our life, but it doesnt have to steal it and I truly try to live each day to the fullest because tomorrow is promised to no one. Finding humor in each day and spending time with the people and the things that I enjoy is more important to me now than ever before. I had a pretty good concept of living one day at a time before my dx, but that concept is even more true for me today. I so agree with everything you have so eloquently stated. Hugs to you.

gagee

Thank You .. Thank You..
That was much needed for me.. I will try to accept each day as a beautiful day and go from there. Your words helped me so very much and I Thank You. I am not that good at writing my feelings but I can talk it out better.
So thank You, Prayers and Hugs to You,
Diana

smalldoggroomer

Well said Sunrae, Well said.
Well said Sunrae, Well said. Glad to hear you are feeling better I think of you often.. God bless Kay

Sunrae

smalldoggroomer said:

Well said Sunrae, Well said.
Well said Sunrae, Well said. Glad to hear you are feeling better I think of you often.. God bless Kay

It has been well-stated, "I
It has been well-stated, "I have cancer but cancer doesn't have me." Cancer can take part of us, treat us raw during treatment and afterwards, but it doesn't have to take our heart and mind. There can be setbacks and disappointments along the way, but that's life. We have to take the bad with the good, and hope there are more good times. Make those moments count and they'll add up. There were days that I couldn't get out of bed, didn't care what was going on around me but in my heart I knew better days were coming. And so it is!

MyTurnNow

Sunrae said:

It has been well-stated, "I
It has been well-stated, "I have cancer but cancer doesn't have me." Cancer can take part of us, treat us raw during treatment and afterwards, but it doesn't have to take our heart and mind. There can be setbacks and disappointments along the way, but that's life. We have to take the bad with the good, and hope there are more good times. Make those moments count and they'll add up. There were days that I couldn't get out of bed, didn't care what was going on around me but in my heart I knew better days were coming. And so it is!

Sunrae it is sooooo good to
Sunrae it is sooooo good to see you. I remember going through some of your rough spots with you but you always maintained a positive outlook. I'm so happy that you have achieved your better days! You are a special sister on these boards and always will be. Don't be a stranger! Love you.

LoveBabyJesus

Thank You.
I read your profile, and you inspire me. Thank you for your kind words. This journey is hard, but then I find people like you to help me through it.

Thank you. God bless you.

debi.18

LoveBabyJesus said:

Thank You.
I read your profile, and you inspire me. Thank you for your kind words. This journey is hard, but then I find people like you to help me through it.

Thank you. God bless you.

Wondeful
Wonderful words of wisdom. I'm so happy you are happy and healthy. I'm just starting this journey and know there will plenty of ups and downs along the road. Of course, this site has already been a lifesaver - wonderful sisters to help getting over the humps and bumps.

Thank you for the reminder that we will be return to normal! So happy you are happy and healthy!

Hugs~
Debi

DebbyM

New Flower said:

Great to see you
I am glad that you have been doing well.
Hugs to you

Sweet smiling Sunrae! It is
Sweet smiling Sunrae! It is so great to read how well you are doing!


Hugs, Debby

TraciInLA

debi.18 said:

Wondeful
Wonderful words of wisdom. I'm so happy you are happy and healthy. I'm just starting this journey and know there will plenty of ups and downs along the road. Of course, this site has already been a lifesaver - wonderful sisters to help getting over the humps and bumps.

Thank you for the reminder that we will be return to normal! So happy you are happy and healthy!

Hugs~
Debi

So glad to see you here, Sunrae, but feels different for me
Sunrae, I'm SO glad to hear that your health is finally on the upswing. You went through so much during treatment -- I remember feeling just sick for you as you had one complication after another after another....I'm so happy to see your smiling face here again, and hear such good news from you.

But I have to say that my experience after treatment feels different. I completed active treatment 18 months ago, and, physically, I've fully recovered -- I have my normal energy level, and am back to all my previous activities. I'm very grateful for that. But my life changed forever the day I was diagnosed, and I'm one of the ones who works every day to find that "new normal."

Before my diagnosis, I never thought about cancer -- I was too young to worry about breast cancer, right? Now, every morning when I get undressed, I see the radiation tattoos and the scars, and remember (just for a minute) what I went through. Every single day, I take my Tamoxifen, and remember that I'm still in the fight. Before my diagnosis, I had 2 doctors' appointments every year -- only 2 a year! Now I walk into an office that says "oncology" on the door every 3 months.

I don't worry every day anymore the way I did when I was going through treatment -- but cancer is still a daily companion that wasn't there before when things were "normal."

Of course, everyone's journey is different, and we walk together wherever the journey takes us -- FWIW, I just thought I'd share my own experience.

Traci

mollyz

Dear Sunrae,
That was so wonderful said i feel the same way and couldn't express it the way you did, obviously you are a child of God because you couldn't take what you've been thru and still have joy in your words,I've really been trying to express that you can be you again,I've read post after post of depressed women and i couldn't really grasp the words you have put so eloquently.I have joy everyday in spite of because i love the Lord. MOLLYZ

Jean 0609

Hey Sunrae!
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR POSTING. I was so happy to see your post. I don't get here as much as I used to, but we have missed you!

xoxo,
Jean

Sunrae

Jean 0609 said:

Hey Sunrae!
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR POSTING. I was so happy to see your post. I don't get here as much as I used to, but we have missed you!

xoxo,
Jean

Thanks to all of you
Thanks to all of you welcoming me back. I took time off and let myself heal, physically and emotionally. For awhile all I could think about was "I have cancer and it might kill me". It does take the life of our friends and loved ones. I lost my mother to breast cancer and I was her caregiver for several months and watched her die inch by inch. Then I starting thinking about all those surviving bc and are able to go on with their lives. In the back of my mind there's always that question, "will it come back and when?", but I decided not to let that dwell too long and live each day to the fullest. I'm older than most of you and have a lot of other health issues. In fact, my oncologist told me, "Don't worry about dying from cancer, you have too many other health problems". She was referring to my heart problems, diabetes, asthma and related issues, which have at times caused me to be hospitalized and pretty often. I've had major health problems since my early 30's so I've had time to get used to the idea that my body is not so healthy. I understand when cancer hits younger people and completely changes their life. It's so overwhelming at any age but for a younger person it can be devastating. For the new ones, older ones and those with reoccurrences, my heart goes out to you. Hopefully, this dark stormy time will pass soon and you can enjoy the sun that comes after the storm. Wishing good days ahead for all of you.

CypressCynthia

TraciInLA said:

So glad to see you here, Sunrae, but feels different for me
Sunrae, I'm SO glad to hear that your health is finally on the upswing. You went through so much during treatment -- I remember feeling just sick for you as you had one complication after another after another....I'm so happy to see your smiling face here again, and hear such good news from you.

But I have to say that my experience after treatment feels different. I completed active treatment 18 months ago, and, physically, I've fully recovered -- I have my normal energy level, and am back to all my previous activities. I'm very grateful for that. But my life changed forever the day I was diagnosed, and I'm one of the ones who works every day to find that "new normal."

Before my diagnosis, I never thought about cancer -- I was too young to worry about breast cancer, right? Now, every morning when I get undressed, I see the radiation tattoos and the scars, and remember (just for a minute) what I went through. Every single day, I take my Tamoxifen, and remember that I'm still in the fight. Before my diagnosis, I had 2 doctors' appointments every year -- only 2 a year! Now I walk into an office that says "oncology" on the door every 3 months.

I don't worry every day anymore the way I did when I was going through treatment -- but cancer is still a daily companion that wasn't there before when things were "normal."

Of course, everyone's journey is different, and we walk together wherever the journey takes us -- FWIW, I just thought I'd share my own experience.

Traci

Thanks Traci! I didn't want
Thanks Traci! I didn't want to be Debbie Downer, but my life has never felt the same either. In some ways it is better; in some ways it is harder. I appreciate every sunset more, but nothing about hospital scans and lab tests feels like it did before. I often feel like one of Pavlov's dogs who is now conditioned to freak out during scans and tests. I don't really freak, but I've been known to have my share of meltdowns.

I will say, after 24 years, it does get easier and I am grateful that I have survived so long. But sometimes that is even a mixed bag--like why am I still here and so many of my fellow warriors not? I wish there was a cure....

This I know: I love my fellow survivors and hate the beast. And I love your attitude Sunrae--even though you are a tough act to emulate!

Christmas Girl

Sunrae said:

Thanks to all of you
Thanks to all of you welcoming me back. I took time off and let myself heal, physically and emotionally. For awhile all I could think about was "I have cancer and it might kill me". It does take the life of our friends and loved ones. I lost my mother to breast cancer and I was her caregiver for several months and watched her die inch by inch. Then I starting thinking about all those surviving bc and are able to go on with their lives. In the back of my mind there's always that question, "will it come back and when?", but I decided not to let that dwell too long and live each day to the fullest. I'm older than most of you and have a lot of other health issues. In fact, my oncologist told me, "Don't worry about dying from cancer, you have too many other health problems". She was referring to my heart problems, diabetes, asthma and related issues, which have at times caused me to be hospitalized and pretty often. I've had major health problems since my early 30's so I've had time to get used to the idea that my body is not so healthy. I understand when cancer hits younger people and completely changes their life. It's so overwhelming at any age but for a younger person it can be devastating. For the new ones, older ones and those with reoccurrences, my heart goes out to you. Hopefully, this dark stormy time will pass soon and you can enjoy the sun that comes after the storm. Wishing good days ahead for all of you.

Hello, Sunrae!
Good to find you here, and so glad you're doing well! :-)

Kind regards, Susan