Glad to have found all of you!

MarinaDN

What a difference a day and a few new found friends can do for a persons outlook. I thank all of you who have taken the time to post. I really do feel so much better, as well as armed with a lot more positive information. With your help, I made a pact with myself to stay away from statistics and to close out any page that does not provide me with information that will help get my dad to to NED! Tomorrow my dad will go in for the MRI to see about what was going on in his pelvic region, so I will update on that. I pray it is not related to the cancer. He has been referred to an oncologist near his home in Stuart FL. I offered my suggestion about having him get more than one opinion, but he brushed me off. I will try again after he has had an appointment with this doctor. He seems very happy with the surgeon we met with at the University of Miami, though surgery is far off. We will have to get through the chemo first. Right now, I'm worried that he has already lost 15 pounds. I know that it is hard for him to eat, but the lost weight will not help him. Are there any helpful tips for him, on the days that swallowing is especially hard? We try to get him to drink boost along with his meals, but in the last few days even that has been difficult. I should say that he is not a big man to begin with, he has always been trim.
I can't thank you enough for all the useful information I've gotten. I do believe I had stumbled onto this page because God wanted me to find all of you. I was so hopeless before, and I didn't think I could be of any help to my dad. Now I will be!

sandy1943

A lot can be learned from
A lot can be learned from others experiences. I'm glad you are now one of us. Sherri is the one with so much knowledge about foods and ways to get the weight on. Perhaps she'll see this and respond.
Praying for your dad, Sandra

JaneE2366

just curious
I am curious as to which dr your father was referred to in Stuart. That is where my husband was treated.....got excellent care.
Jane

MarinaDN

JaneE2366 said:

just curious
I am curious as to which dr your father was referred to in Stuart. That is where my husband was treated.....got excellent care.
Jane

My dads Dr
Hi Jane,
My dad has been referred to Nicholas Iannotti. The Surgeon in Miami (Alan Livingston) sent us to him. Have you heard of either Doctor?
Marina

JaneE2366

MarinaDN said:

My dads Dr
Hi Jane,
My dad has been referred to Nicholas Iannotti. The Surgeon in Miami (Alan Livingston) sent us to him. Have you heard of either Doctor?
Marina

same group
Marina,
Not familiar with the surgeon...my husband was stage iv...not a surgical candidate. However, I know Dr Iannotti. He was with the same group (Hematology Oncology) that we went to. Dr Iannotti would see my husband when he did rounds in the hospital and we would see him around the office. He is great..and has a great reputation. I wish you the best and will pray for your dad. Keep us all posted
Jane

rdraetta

JaneE2366 said:

same group
Marina,
Not familiar with the surgeon...my husband was stage iv...not a surgical candidate. However, I know Dr Iannotti. He was with the same group (Hematology Oncology) that we went to. Dr Iannotti would see my husband when he did rounds in the hospital and we would see him around the office. He is great..and has a great reputation. I wish you the best and will pray for your dad. Keep us all posted
Jane

Marina's mom
This is the first time I am posting anything we are going through. My husband's head is in a really bad place, he is so depressed the shrink just increased his meds he is on Zolof he was taking 50 mil but he has uped it to 75 for one week and then 100 if that is not enough. He had his 3ed Cemo treatment this week Doing pretty well handeling the Cemo so far ,he is so tired and has no desire to do anything . I am prayiny that the shrink will help his head and the body will follow. I am so angry at him for not trying to help himself but i guess its not easy. Love him with all my heart and have high hopes we will beat this
Wife and care-taker RD

chemosmoker

rdraetta said:

Marina's mom
This is the first time I am posting anything we are going through. My husband's head is in a really bad place, he is so depressed the shrink just increased his meds he is on Zolof he was taking 50 mil but he has uped it to 75 for one week and then 100 if that is not enough. He had his 3ed Cemo treatment this week Doing pretty well handeling the Cemo so far ,he is so tired and has no desire to do anything . I am prayiny that the shrink will help his head and the body will follow. I am so angry at him for not trying to help himself but i guess its not easy. Love him with all my heart and have high hopes we will beat this
Wife and care-taker RD

DON'T BE MAD! and Welcome aboard!
RD,
Welcome to the message boards and our little family!
I hope you will post MUCH more information!

Don't be MAD at the cancer patient. PLEASE.
THAT is a good time for YOU to be talking to the shrink!!
I am speaking from experience here. SAVE EVERYTHING BUT LOVE AND SUPPORT FOR HIM!
HE is fighting THE biggest battle he will EVER face in his life. The last thing he needs is to see ANY anger directed at him.
DON'T misunderstand-I am not.

I KNOW you think you aren't, right?
But if you are FEELING it that strongly, believe me, it is coming out somehow, or will.
That is something I recommend dealing with with OTHERS for your good, and his, right away. I sense that you have that anger and it is PERFECTLY NORMAL as well. There's nothing wrong with you. But don't let it ruin your time.

ALWAYS THINK THIS:

This may be the last day/week/month/year you have with him. HOW do you want those memories to be formed? Is the way things are going the WAY you want those memories to be made?
If not, DO SOMETHING to change it, NOW. Make these the memories every minuet of every day, that you will hold in your heart and cherish as long as you live. THIS is that time.

I hope this helps and doesn't come across too harsh. I send it with all the love I can must at this late hour!

-Eric

adube

chemosmoker said:

DON'T BE MAD! and Welcome aboard!
RD,
Welcome to the message boards and our little family!
I hope you will post MUCH more information!

Don't be MAD at the cancer patient. PLEASE.
THAT is a good time for YOU to be talking to the shrink!!
I am speaking from experience here. SAVE EVERYTHING BUT LOVE AND SUPPORT FOR HIM!
HE is fighting THE biggest battle he will EVER face in his life. The last thing he needs is to see ANY anger directed at him.
DON'T misunderstand-I am not.

I KNOW you think you aren't, right?
But if you are FEELING it that strongly, believe me, it is coming out somehow, or will.
That is something I recommend dealing with with OTHERS for your good, and his, right away. I sense that you have that anger and it is PERFECTLY NORMAL as well. There's nothing wrong with you. But don't let it ruin your time.

ALWAYS THINK THIS:

This may be the last day/week/month/year you have with him. HOW do you want those memories to be formed? Is the way things are going the WAY you want those memories to be made?
If not, DO SOMETHING to change it, NOW. Make these the memories every minuet of every day, that you will hold in your heart and cherish as long as you live. THIS is that time.

I hope this helps and doesn't come across too harsh. I send it with all the love I can must at this late hour!

-Eric

great points, eric
All excellent advice I think, Eric. If you think that dealing with EC as a care giver is difficult, just imagine how he feels! I can't even begin to imagine all of the emotions and thoughts that run through a patients mind. Forgive him for being a little beside himself--have patience. He's trying to digest a whole lot right now and if ever there was a time for love and compassion, it's right now. Hopefully the psychologist can help him redirect his emotions into some positive energy-- because he's going to need buckets full. Stay strong for him, strength is contagious. I just think of all the friends I've made here these last few weeks. They've helped me find strength. Courage to look this thing head on and say "oh hell no you don't." I agree completely with Marina, it has been such a blessing to discover such an incredible group of people. I've never met more amazing folks in my life. They all inspire me every day to be a better person. To live as if today were the last day I'd get-- not to wonder what-if. Not to take one single second for granted. Cliche? perhaps. But I don't think you realize how incredibly true it is until you are facing a demon like this one. I don't think I knew what hope was before finding these friends. I was finding it difficult to get out of MY OWN head and I'm not even sick! Cut your husband some slack, be his rock, his pillar. His hope. Help him fight this beast by giving him every piece of you; hold him, kiss him. Love him unconditionally every day. There is no room for anger -- only love. Unconditional, undying, unabashed love.


Ali
(daughter of Mike, IV)

rdraetta

adube said:

great points, eric
All excellent advice I think, Eric. If you think that dealing with EC as a care giver is difficult, just imagine how he feels! I can't even begin to imagine all of the emotions and thoughts that run through a patients mind. Forgive him for being a little beside himself--have patience. He's trying to digest a whole lot right now and if ever there was a time for love and compassion, it's right now. Hopefully the psychologist can help him redirect his emotions into some positive energy-- because he's going to need buckets full. Stay strong for him, strength is contagious. I just think of all the friends I've made here these last few weeks. They've helped me find strength. Courage to look this thing head on and say "oh hell no you don't." I agree completely with Marina, it has been such a blessing to discover such an incredible group of people. I've never met more amazing folks in my life. They all inspire me every day to be a better person. To live as if today were the last day I'd get-- not to wonder what-if. Not to take one single second for granted. Cliche? perhaps. But I don't think you realize how incredibly true it is until you are facing a demon like this one. I don't think I knew what hope was before finding these friends. I was finding it difficult to get out of MY OWN head and I'm not even sick! Cut your husband some slack, be his rock, his pillar. His hope. Help him fight this beast by giving him every piece of you; hold him, kiss him. Love him unconditionally every day. There is no room for anger -- only love. Unconditional, undying, unabashed love.


Ali
(daughter of Mike, IV)</p>

THanks
It is not easy for him I know and I am trying my best to give him all the love I have to give I just loose it sometimes. He is my world ,,always was and always will be.

TerryV

rdraetta said:

THanks
It is not easy for him I know and I am trying my best to give him all the love I have to give I just loose it sometimes. He is my world ,,always was and always will be.

We are here for when you "lose it"
It's so easy to have emotions go haywire when acting as the caregiver to someone with EC. I'm sure they have their moments as well.

Bring your frustrations, your tears, your screaming & yelling to us. We're here for you. We've got the shoulders for it. *And* we've been there ourselves....

Terry
Wife to Nick, age 48
dx T3N2M0 05/19/11
THE 09/08/11