Are you different now?

davidgskinner

Maybe a weird/dumb question, but I want to know how many of you feel like you have survived treatment and now truly feel like a different person than you were before?
I'm not talking about the physical stuff, that's obvious. And I don't really mean, "I am just thankful to be alive," either.
I mean thinks like how you view the world, your friends, your partner?
What is valuable/not as valuable to you now?
How do you enjoy your time differently than before?

Something that's been on my mind and this is the best place I know to bring it up...

like the song goes...

man I ain't changed
but I know I ain't the same...

D Lewis

Yes.
Hard to explain. I'm happier. I'm grateful. I'm more mindful. I enjoy everything, especially breathing. I am having a WONDERFUL summer.

I was a very happy little kid. That happiness seemed to dissipate as I got older. Well, now that little bubble of joy that used to hang out somewhere close to my heart is back again. I didn't realize how much I'd missed it.

Has anyone else here noticed... you can look someone right in the eyes, and sometimes you can tell that they are a survivor too?

Or, perhaps this has affected my brain in subtle ways I don't recognize.

Deb

palmyrafan

D Lewis said:

Yes.
Hard to explain. I'm happier. I'm grateful. I'm more mindful. I enjoy everything, especially breathing. I am having a WONDERFUL summer.

I was a very happy little kid. That happiness seemed to dissipate as I got older. Well, now that little bubble of joy that used to hang out somewhere close to my heart is back again. I didn't realize how much I'd missed it.

Has anyone else here noticed... you can look someone right in the eyes, and sometimes you can tell that they are a survivor too?

Or, perhaps this has affected my brain in subtle ways I don't recognize.

Deb

Thankful
Wow, interesting question.

I noticed I was different when I came home from the hospital right after brain surgery. The sky was a deeper blue, the leaves were an incredible green I had never noticed, all the colors and sounds just seemed more vivid and vibrant. The colors are still vibrant to me and in the fall, well....the color changes just take my breath away. They never did that before my surgery.

I'm a more passionate and compassionate person; passionate about life itself and compassionate about people and animals. I am also on a dedicated walk with my creator and my Faith is stronger than it ever has been before. I'm not ashamed to talk about my Faith and tell others how I got to be so strong.

I also believe that "each day is a gift to be shared" and I also "dance like no one is watching". By that I mean that I try to live life to the fullest that I am capable of each and every day.

So yes, I am different than I was before surgery and all my treatment. But I believe that I have changed for the better.

arndog64

palmyrafan said:

Thankful
Wow, interesting question.

I noticed I was different when I came home from the hospital right after brain surgery. The sky was a deeper blue, the leaves were an incredible green I had never noticed, all the colors and sounds just seemed more vivid and vibrant. The colors are still vibrant to me and in the fall, well....the color changes just take my breath away. They never did that before my surgery.

I'm a more passionate and compassionate person; passionate about life itself and compassionate about people and animals. I am also on a dedicated walk with my creator and my Faith is stronger than it ever has been before. I'm not ashamed to talk about my Faith and tell others how I got to be so strong.

I also believe that "each day is a gift to be shared" and I also "dance like no one is watching". By that I mean that I try to live life to the fullest that I am capable of each and every day.

So yes, I am different than I was before surgery and all my treatment. But I believe that I have changed for the better.

My husbands words -
I dont
My husbands words -

I dont believe it has made much of a change on me so far, but I am only 6 weeks out and still have alot of road to cover. Maybe once I get to the end of the road I can take a moment and look back and see the man I have become.

Kent Cass

palmyrafan said:

Thankful
Wow, interesting question.

I noticed I was different when I came home from the hospital right after brain surgery. The sky was a deeper blue, the leaves were an incredible green I had never noticed, all the colors and sounds just seemed more vivid and vibrant. The colors are still vibrant to me and in the fall, well....the color changes just take my breath away. They never did that before my surgery.

I'm a more passionate and compassionate person; passionate about life itself and compassionate about people and animals. I am also on a dedicated walk with my creator and my Faith is stronger than it ever has been before. I'm not ashamed to talk about my Faith and tell others how I got to be so strong.

I also believe that "each day is a gift to be shared" and I also "dance like no one is watching". By that I mean that I try to live life to the fullest that I am capable of each and every day.

So yes, I am different than I was before surgery and all my treatment. But I believe that I have changed for the better.

Perhaps
After Deb's post, feeling like I do, I'd thought about posting, "Yes, I am grateful. And, yeah, I'm happier, too, damnit!" No offense intended, of course, it's just that today's been a very bad day for the lower-right back arthritis, which is taking a toll on my attitude. Getting about time to dust-off the old walking stick.

Two years out for me includes over two years back at the job amongst salt of the earth factory workers who all wish they were doing something else with their lives, and it all kinda makes me wonder if I'm not getting back to the man I was, pre-C. Perhaps. Thing is, I think I am more understanding, and a lot more serious about my work, but also try to find humor in things whenever I can (PG rated humor, as opposed to the X-rated typical of my co-workers). Do enjoy my time away from work a lot more, now. Back and all, I love to just go out and drive, witnessing what I woulda missed if I had let the C claim me. Still keep the C very much in mind, and do try to appreciate everything that is not negative.

kcass

fisrpotpe

for me
for me when i heard "you have cancer" i must say everything in my life changed. having two children at the time 14 & 16 years old and a special wife changed all of what i thought, listened and responded. i needed to survive, i needed to be a better father, better husband and better servant to our Father above. i wanted to survive to get my girls thru high school.

now they are 32 and 30 one has a 6 year degree as physical therapist and the other has a 6 year degree as a speech patholigists. both married two grand children and one on the way.

my wife... how incredible is she. words do no justice

hell yes i have changed

john

ratface

fisrpotpe said:

for me
for me when i heard "you have cancer" i must say everything in my life changed. having two children at the time 14 & 16 years old and a special wife changed all of what i thought, listened and responded. i needed to survive, i needed to be a better father, better husband and better servant to our Father above. i wanted to survive to get my girls thru high school.

now they are 32 and 30 one has a 6 year degree as physical therapist and the other has a 6 year degree as a speech patholigists. both married two grand children and one on the way.

my wife... how incredible is she. words do no justice

hell yes i have changed

john

Have to echo similar sentiments
rainy days and Mondays don't ever get me down anymore. I think everyday has it's own unique merit. I wonder at clouds and ants and kids and dogs and well airplanes............... I have a new sense of calm and appreciativeness. I avoid anger and really work at being tolerant of my wife, son, and daughter. I marvel at the three of them daily. I have a new urgency to arrange financial matters and accomplish home repairs. I have a deep appreciation for anyone who works with cancer patients. I don't take tomorrow for granted and really will unclog the slow sink or fix the leaky faucet. I don't spend as much money. I work much less. I live much more. I exercise much more. I am very aware of what I eat. I've learned to like Merlot. I cook everyday and get the laundry right more than I used to. I sleep better.