not freaking out, not anxious, very NEUTRAL about it

Patteee

had a CT scan last week and see my oncologist tomorrow morning! This is my 3 year check.

I told myself over 2.5 years ago that I could live my life peacefully, without fear and without anxiety or worry about cancer. That each day was a gift, each grandson hug as wonderful as the first one, each sunrise, glorious blue sky and A JOB!!!! I have a job for crying out loud!!! And in my little talk to myself I said, "hummm you can chose to worry about this every single minute or you can turn it over and enjoy the days you have been given!" I left the medical piece to my oncologist and stepped out of the fear and into my life.

What comes tomorrow, will come tomorrow. And yes, it has gotten easier the further I have gotten away from it. I do not mean to downplay people's fears and anxieties about this Beast. Only to offer up that while you are waiting for the other shoe to drop, please don't forget to breath in your life and enjoy the gifts you have!

christinecarl

Yea Patteee
I completely agree. I have a friend who think that I am crazy for not calling my Onc's office to find out the results of my checkups. But it is part of me letting go of the fear and not letting it control me or my life. I know that if anything looks wrong my Onc will call me and we will figure out a plan of attack. But until that happens, screw it. I do realize it is easy for me to say this, I have been lucky, it has been just a little over 2 yrs since my last chemo and things are going great.

I hope your results are fantastic!!

mom_2_3

Best wishes
Pattee,

I am glad you are calm and collected and enjoying every minute. Best wishes for a great result tomorrow!

Amy

Nana b

mom_2_3 said:

Best wishes
Pattee,

I am glad you are calm and collected and enjoying every minute. Best wishes for a great result tomorrow!

Amy

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johnnybegood

Nana b said:

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thanks pattee
for those words.i just had my 9th treatment and in 2 weeks will have a cat scan then 5 days later will see my onc.all i do is dwell on my cat scan results,if i will have to do more chemo,what type of surgery am i going to have and will i have to get more chemo after sugery.i am driving my self crazy.so everyday i read posts i will come back and read your little pep talk to help me thru this....Godbless....johnnybegood

thingy45

You are so right Pattee...
You are so right Pattee... we are all worry wards, BUT we should enjoy today and every moment in it.
Thanks for the uplifting words I will try to count my blessings and not worry for tomorrow.
Hugs Marjan

kmygil

So very true!
You are exactly right! I finally gave it over to God and now I am peaceful and happy once again. There were my Mom's death, my 2 cancers, my sister's cancer and then my husband's suicide. But I finally realized that I had a choice. I could give up the illusion of control and dive into life, or I could stand outside of life clutching desperately at illusory reins and expecting to get bucked off the horse at any time. You know what? The life enjoyment choice was the right one!