Gone A While

mixleader

Hi, everybody. I've not posted for a while and I'm sorry about that. It seems that everything built up and came crashing down on me and I have been really down. I have been experiencing a great deal of facial pain and I have been to numerous doctor visits to try and get relief. My main doc and my ENT surgeon think that I have both TMJ disorder and some nerve damage from the two surgeries and the rad treatments. Quite a bit of my right jaw muscle was removed during the January surgery for a second cancer. Starting about March, the pain began. Sometimes it is a horrible ache in the jaw/teeth/temple and sometimes it is a crushing pain in the right ear that brings me to the floor. Big strong men don't admit to crying, so I won't admit that. Okay, what the heck, I admit that also. I have been to numerous doctors and a pain clinic and I think the pain clinic may have finally given me some relief with the second of the nerve blocks that they gave me. Now, my throat gets sore when I talk a lot at work, and, of course, my first thought is that the beast is back and growing again inside my neck. My docs don't think that right now and they are debating on giving me another scan before my normal October scan. There were times when the pain was so bad that I thought I could not take it anymore. I have tried several different pain killers and my body does not much like pain killers. So, I am hoping that the nerve blocks will help with this misery but nobody is giving me much hope of getting better. So, I have been depressed and withdrawn and some days I am afraid the cancer is returning to kill me and some days I think it won't be soon enough. I am a strong man with excellent support from family and friends and I have no intention of giving up yet, but it has been very tough for me. I intend to start posting again since I am sick of the whimpering couch potato I have become. Sorry for the rant, but this is by far the toughest fight I have ever had and like a lot of us, I am still scared and insecure.

Roger

luv2cut1

Hi Roger
Sometimes it seems like the tough times never stop. I am sorry to hear about the pain you are having and the lack of relief you are able to get. I am glad to hear that the doctors don't think it is the cancer returning and that you are still in the fight.

I cannot imagine what it would be like to be in that much pain. I know Hondo also suffered a lot of pain from various causes. I am glad to hear you are back posting, so hopefully you can get some additional support. I hope the doctors can find a way to relieve your pain soon.

Thoughts and prayers with you.

Myka

hawk711

luv2cut1 said:

Hi Roger
Sometimes it seems like the tough times never stop. I am sorry to hear about the pain you are having and the lack of relief you are able to get. I am glad to hear that the doctors don't think it is the cancer returning and that you are still in the fight.

I cannot imagine what it would be like to be in that much pain. I know Hondo also suffered a lot of pain from various causes. I am glad to hear you are back posting, so hopefully you can get some additional support. I hope the doctors can find a way to relieve your pain soon.

Thoughts and prayers with you.

Myka

Welcome Back Roger
Glad to see your post. Keep getting it all out here. I think keeping it all in is the worst thing you can do. I am one of those that thinks the "other shoe" will drop sometime. It is tough to get your mind clear and totally positive. I have gone to the daily mode of "it's a great day today, I'll worry about tomorrow later".
I don't have the pain you have and I know that can be a tough road. I remember the pain from the eye surgery, rads, vomiting, etc during and after treatment however.
Our Dr's are good, they'll help you somehow, someway. Just keep telling yourself "it will get better", it will just be slower than you like....
Keeping you in my prayers Roger, keep fighting big guy....
steve

sweetblood22

hawk711 said:

Welcome Back Roger
Glad to see your post. Keep getting it all out here. I think keeping it all in is the worst thing you can do. I am one of those that thinks the "other shoe" will drop sometime. It is tough to get your mind clear and totally positive. I have gone to the daily mode of "it's a great day today, I'll worry about tomorrow later".
I don't have the pain you have and I know that can be a tough road. I remember the pain from the eye surgery, rads, vomiting, etc during and after treatment however.
Our Dr's are good, they'll help you somehow, someway. Just keep telling yourself "it will get better", it will just be slower than you like....
Keeping you in my prayers Roger, keep fighting big guy....
steve

Roger
Sorry to read this. I am sure we can all understand this, I know that living with chronic pain can be debilitating, and depressing. It really saps your will to function on a daily basis. I am hoping for relief for you. Please keep us posted, and you know you can always come here for a good rant and venting, and get some support in return.

Sending healing thoughts, light and blessings-
Sweets

adventurebob

Good to hear from you
Been wondering where you were. Sorry that it's been so rough. Fear and depression suck. I'll be praying for strength and hope for you. And healing. Keep checking in when you can.

AB