My Hero

emtwoods
emtwoods Member Posts: 37 Member
in Colorectal Cancer #1
Chemo Folfox Round One

Today was a difficult day for Michael, he has had his second chemo drug on for over 24 hours and has 9 more hours to go. He is so tired, his legs hurt from swelling, and he has been nauseated. We did see the Doctor today and his blood levels are all good, his blood thinner is working perfectly. The trip to the doctor took a lot out of him, (he slept all the way home). Anyone who knows us, knows Michael would NEVER sleep while I am driving. The doctor said he could have something for the water retention but since his kidneys are working fine it would just be an added medication, and he is already on enough. He said drink lots, and lots of fluids, to flush the chemo out of his kidneys. He is taking medication for nausea, except the side effect of that medicine is it makes him sleepy. Then it's hard for him to sleep because his legs hurt.

I know I have mentioned a few times that friends and family were my "hero" of the day. Today, I decided my hero of the day is Michael. I know he hurts because I see it in his face, I know he is scared because I see it in his eyes, I know he feels horrible as he forces himself to drink more water. I watch him as he smiles, and pretends everything is fine when the kids come in. Never once has he complained, I ask him if he hurts and he says, "no" and I know he just doesn't want me to worry. He tells me he is sorry he is sick, and it breaks my heart because I know he worries more about those he loves than himself. So I will go to sleep now until he wakes and I will pray that tomorrow he will have a better day.

Comments

  • ellamenno
    ellamenno Member Posts: 142 Member
    #2
    Awww Sweetie...
    What a love you are! I know where your Michael is coming from. When I was sick from tx (lymphoma) it was very important to me that things stay as normal as possible for my hubby and daughter. I felt so guilty "getting cancer". I felt responsible for the emotions I thought I was inflicting on those whom I loved.

    My father was very much like Michael too. We could tell he was hurting but he rarely complained. My mom and I were his caregivers and in my opinion it is way harder being the caregiver because there seems to be precious little ability to take the hurt away.

    It sounds as though he is in good hands and you obviously love him very much. That is what you will always be able to do for him...love him. That is a HUGE comfort to him I'm sure. I'm sorry your family has to go thru this but, believe me, brighter days are ahead.

    And who is your caregiver thru this? Just as important for you as well. Of course we are all here for you both but do you have people close by? Someone to talk to and lean on? Your family sound like they are going to be there for you.

    Be gentle with yourself and take care.

    Peace, Love, Sparks and ((((((HUGS)))))

    Laurie

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