I made it through the initial discover via ultrasound. I made it through the CTs, MRIs, Biopsies, the diagnosis of RCC (clear cell) and finally, a radical nephrectomy (lap). I did ok through all of it, didn't freak out too much, am now healing pretty well from my surgery exactly 2 weeks ago. But yesterday my surgeon called me with the pathology results and now I am freaking out. Grade 2, Stage T3a. I know it could be worse (couldn't it always?) But as I try to do my research on what these results mean, I just get more and more scared. I know there's really nothing left to do but live as healthy a life as I can, and get my "every 4 months" scans. But with the results, it suddenly seems more real than it ever has. On the one hand, my doctor said "We think you are cancer free, and we think you are going to stay that way." Why don't these words comfort me?