As a mom, something definitely went wrong....

lizzie17
lizzie17 Member Posts: 548
in Breast Cancer #1
I was diagnosed today with yet another kidney infection! My 27 yr old daughter happened to call and share her "bad" weekend, and then I added mine has been kind of bad, too.

I told her about my 101+ fever, and my new 10 day antibiotic, etc.

Exactly 3 hours later she called and invited me to drive 90 minutes tomorrow and shop with her. When I said I thought I should rest.......she said,

"What, you are STILL sick!"

I just don't get it.

Comments

  • Marcha Louise
    Marcha Louise Member Posts: 36
    #2
    I understand, my daughter
    I understand, my daughter has borderline personality disorder, it gets pretty hairy from time to time. They are very needy. Some days I could just scream. It does not mean I do not love her, but living with her is very hard
  • lizzie17
    lizzie17 Member Posts: 548
    #3
    Marcha Louise said:

    I understand, my daughter
    I understand, my daughter has borderline personality disorder, it gets pretty hairy from time to time. They are very needy. Some days I could just scream. It does not mean I do not love her, but living with her is very hard

    thank you
    for sharing that....we have had issues also, but somewhere I had the hope she would outgrow them.
  • New Flower
    New Flower Member Posts: 4,294
    #4
    lizzie17 said:

    thank you
    for sharing that....we have had issues also, but somewhere I had the hope she would outgrow them.

    Lizzie
    Sorry, I think a healthy young person cannot understand the survivor who is having issues.
    wishing you get well soon and hope antibiotic will work.
    Hugs
  • kit kat
    kit kat Member Posts: 56
    #5
    New Flower said:

    Lizzie
    Sorry, I think a healthy young person cannot understand the survivor who is having issues.
    wishing you get well soon and hope antibiotic will work.
    Hugs

    Some people have no clue
    Some people have no clue about illness. During my treatment I had aassortment of negative comments It would "nt end. My brother called me all the time to tell me what fun he was having that time.I felt miserable. Still do.
  • seof
    seof Member Posts: 819 Member
    #6
    I think it can be hard for
    I think it can be hard for kids to think of their parents as human beings who can have the same troubles they have. Also, I think it is very natural and normal for teen-young adult children to feel invincible and to assume everyone else is too. That does not make it less frustrating when they seem to be so selfish and clueless. My teenagers seem oblivious to the possibility that they are not the only family members who ever have a bad day, or a stomachache, etc.

    Live as well as you can for as long as you can.
    seof
  • sbmly53
    sbmly53 Member Posts: 1,522
    #7
    Not necessarily
    Kids always expect there parents to be there and to do whatever needs to be done. Even at 27. I'm waiting for my 23 yr old daughter to come and help me hoe out the house. To much stuff in here. I think it's a combination of her age and knowing how much work is involved, even tho I remind her every so often that I just don't have the energy I once had.

    I have seen kids do a turnaround about age 30. And definately when they start having families of their own.

    There is hope yet, don't be discouraged. She loves you and trusts you to help her.

    Sue
  • poplolly
    poplolly Member Posts: 346
    #8
    Lizzie,
    I think it's a lot
    Lizzie,

    I think it's a lot of immaturity that causes some of that from our kids. My daughter who is 32 asked me to go to Scarbrough Fair with her family last week. I told her I didn't think I could do all that walking in the heat right now, and she acted like I was an idiot. She actually made fun of me for that answer!
  • EllenaMaria
    EllenaMaria Member Posts: 69
    #9
    poplolly said:

    Lizzie,
    I think it's a lot
    Lizzie,

    I think it's a lot of immaturity that causes some of that from our kids. My daughter who is 32 asked me to go to Scarbrough Fair with her family last week. I told her I didn't think I could do all that walking in the heat right now, and she acted like I was an idiot. She actually made fun of me for that answer!

    The fact remains.....
    unless you have walked in these shoes you have no clue. Two days after my port was put in, could not lift anything, my lovely 12yr daughter said to me after I asked her to help with the dishes, " Why? Isn't your 24hr restriction up now?"

    What is getting to me is now that I am better and I tell someone I treated all last year they like to tell me how they know someone who treated last year and how they had it really bad. Like I didn't???? I actually think people don't realize I am talking about myself. As if I am talking about someone I know. It's almost like they don't believe me when I tell them I had chemo. They will ask if I "just" had chemo or did I have surgery and all that stuff. That's when I list all the crap we have to endure. It is only then that it finally clicks in their head. Then it clicks off and they say something like "yeah but you look so good now". As if I really didn't have "real" cancer because I look good today.

    I have been going to the gym to get myself back in shape. When I have difficulty, hello I sat around for over 9months last year, with my joints my now 14yr daughter has little simpathy.

    Again, it is that walk in my shoes thing.
  • csr771
    csr771 Member Posts: 117
    #10
    Feel Your Pain
    I have an 18 year old that is "hopefully" graduating in a couple of weeks. I hear that it will get better in a few years, but I have to tell you that right now it is a challenge. I understand that "cancer" was not something he requested for his senior year of high school, but neither did I. Sometimes there are no words to explain my frustration, anger, perplexity and dismay at his attitude, immaturity and selfishness. I just want to say "WHAT ABOUT ME?" Sorry ladies, just had to vent.

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